I've set up another mediation appointment for Monday with my XH regarding our kids, and have an appointment Monday with an atty.

My counselor suggested I motion for a guardian ad litem. From my research it sounds like the courts are going to ask for this anyway. I'd rather not have to use an attorney, but I will if I have to.

Any experience, suggestions, thoughts?

Is this the same as "friend of the courts" someone mentioned before?

<small>[ July 01, 2002, 04:56 PM: Message edited by: milli ]</small>

Hi Milli,

I am not sure what a gaurdian ad litem is. You can go to the court that will hold the hearing and ask them. Also ask them for anything they have on divorce and mediation. The clerk will be able to help you. That is their job to answer all questions.

For me I have been my own Pro se lawyer through out the entire divorce/breakup. I have received a great amount of help from the Clerk. I personally would look for one that is nice and matches your personality. You will find you spend a great deal of time with them. Also go online and try and find information. Most states have pamplets that they produce to give you key points on how to handle everything.

I found the web sites and law library to be my friend. It is very hard to be your own Pro se lawyer. It is very time consuming. I would suggest that if you can afford it hire a lawyer to help you.

If you do decide to go with a lawyer interview them and make sure that they know what you want the outcome to be. You need to think of every posable outcome and have that placed in the final decree. I forgot a couple of things and it made life harder in the long run. So I make sure I dot all my i's and cross my t's now. Oh and keep records of everything.

Wishing you the best.

GUARDIAN AD LITEM - Lat. "guardian at law." The person appointed by the court to look out for the best interests of the child during the course of legal proceedings.

This is 'friend of the court'--basically the state as it claims it has the interests of the child as its goal. No big deal.

I did my original divorce and parenting plan pro se also. Only one thing I made a mistake of was not putting specific date for sale of home.

I did get a list of GAL's from the clerks office today. I noticed a lot of them were attorneys. Of course, they charge much, much more. Is there any pros or cons of going with a non-attorney GAL?

EX won't make Monday or Tuesday mediation because his work schedule changed. I leave next week Saturday, so that means I will have to take time off from new job to meet for mediation. Grrrr!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

My kids were appointed a guardian ad litem. She was an absolute airhead. She did nothing for the kids.

She told the kids in an interview that they really needed to maintain a relationship with their father--even tho he had been emotionally and a few times physically abusive to us. He also has an alcohol problem. In the end, all of that wasn't brought up in court--and she charged us $750 which was split between us even tho my H was the reason one was appointed.

I also found out during the development of my case--she was herself having an affair with another married lawyer in our town. She was my kids advocate........Right !!!!!

Hi Milli,

I guess I am confused you have to pay for the clerks adivce? What state do you live in? In NH I did not have to pay anything. I did have to pay for the subpeanas. But that is 14USD + mileage. So far for my divorce/breakup I have paid out of pocket about 200USD.

I know for me the clerk was very helpful. Then when the trials switched from civil to criminal the clerk gave me the name of the criminal clerk that was very helpful. I would find out if it is standard practice to charge. That seems odd to me but then that might be the way your state operates.

Not sure what the difference would be. I know that they could only really inform me on what forms to file and what options I had. They could never give me legal advice. Hence, that might be why you pay. You would be paying for the legal adivce.

NH is very good in the fact that they have written quit an extensive how to manuals for divorce and domestic violence. I used them a great deal. I also did a great deal of research at the law library. I was able to get some great advice from my Advocate through the YWCA and the detective on the case. Without them I am sure I would have made even more mistakes.

One piece of advice I have for you is stay on top of everything. Even the court child advocate. Things slip through the crack. Make them your new best friend. ((((Milli))))

The whole thing with a GAL is a crapshoot.

E

Well, I just finished my consulting appt with the atty. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

She seems to think in this instance, I have a chance to get primary custody of the girls. I have to try to initiate mediation one more time, otherwise I need to file the motion etc. by 7/25.

She said I will lose the case if I allow the kids to stay with their dad for the next school year or during the request a guardian ad litem. (it will take several months).

Strengths: I was the one taking kids to baseball, softball, pick up from daycare, initiating counseling, religious ed. (even during XH custodial weeks). His work schedule and that OD-12 will be constant babysitter in addition to cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. The poor girl will lose her childhood.

Weakness: H temper tantrum, is a foreigner, met online. Stupid, conservative town. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Thoughts? Suggestions for those that fought custody or splitting kids?

<small>[ July 01, 2002, 05:28 PM: Message edited by: milli ]</small>