I have been married for 8 years and have two small children. My husband is a truck driver and is usually only home on weekends. Last year he inadvertently pulled out a couple of condoms from his pocket when he was giving me money to buy something. He told me he knew I was going off the pill and bought them at a truck stop. After some heartbreak, things were back to normal. Two days ago he infected me with crabs. I confronted him and he denies being with anyone else but me. He said he contracted them from the bathrooms at work. I know crabs are considered an STD, but is there a possibility that he is telling the truth? (percentages please). I am soooo confused, and hurt and absolutely disgusted at the idea of being infected. Although I don't know how I feel about my marriage anymore. I have always been somewhat skeptical about marriage based on the fact that my father and two older brothers have been unfaithful to their wives but I was swept off my feet by this man. I honestly don't know what to do? I feel like I have been hit over the head and my eyes have suddenly been open to his infidelity but I also believe I have to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Don't disregard having an STD! I have contracted one and H says "Well I guess I need to get tested, could I be a carrier?" How lame, I know in our 14 years together I have never been with anyone else so WHERE did I contract it? I am a little cynical right now so maybe I am not the person to ask... Just know that I KNOW what your going through! Take care of yourself... Whatever he says, the TRUTH is that you have an STD and if you have been faithful, (I'm sure you have) then WHERE did you get it? Bathroom... I'm not convinced... again take care of YOURSELF!!!

I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't know anything about STD's, but can't your doctor tell you how it is contracted?<P>What does you gut instinct tell you about the situation?<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

I believe it is highly unlikely to contract any STD from the toilet seats........<BR>My H tried this too.....<P>I had a bacterial STD when affair was first discovered.....and we were both treated. Now I suspect I have a gential wart, but the dr cannot see me until TUESDAY!!! It sure is going to be a long weekend.<P>Can your dr give you information to convince your H how you get infected? Ask, I'm sure they have material on them at the dr office....<P>Good luck.

GinaM:<P>I don't want to sound negative, all I can go on is my own experiences. My husband also gave me a STD, but mine is for life! It sounds like to me he is lying. First the condoms, then the disease. He sure looks guilty to me. You should go with ONCE HAPPY and SHEBAS advice. Check with your doctor if you have some doubt. But, make sure whatever you decide that you take care of YOU! <P>Lots of hugs,<BR>Latrice

GinaM,<P>First of all, you can contract crabs from a filthy bathroom! I know this, because I had them once, however, I got mine at a suspect hotel (dirty sheets).<P>So it really isn't necessarily Sexually transmitted!<P>However, I think you have more than just the crabs worrying you. Your husband may be cheating, and you need to know. There are worse things than crabs.<P>Crabs you treat with a shampoo, and they're gone.<P>AIDS and herpes, etc. are a lifetime!<P>Take care! I hope he isn't cheating, and that it was only a dirty bathroom.<P>Dragonfly

Yes, check with your doctor. Make your husband go with you. If the doctor tries to tell (as mine did--I presume to try to smooth things over) you that STDs can be picked up from doorknobs, toilet seats, etc., ask him to tell you how many kids get this stuff.<P>Go to a search engine and search for STD. Print out the information you find and have it handy to back you up.<P>I walked out on my H for two days this week after he had contact with OW (although he still insists that she was not an OW). Before I left, I left him an ultimatum letter, and also left a print-out on trichomonas on his recliner.<P>I called him the next night to tell him I was all right, and to see if his attitude had changed. He still has an "attitude," but he did finally, after 13 years, admit to cheating on me one time years ago.<P>Arm yourself with the facts. Try not to love-bust, but do not let him treat you like he thinks you're some kind of fool. I think that is what angers me more than anything--that my H thought I was such a fool that I would buy any story he told me.

Also, if he's having an affair, he will deny it. My H denied his affair for 8 months. I thought it ended for 7 months & have just found out he had resumed it and lied--all the time swearing he hadn't seen, phoned, emailed or had ANY contact with her. Cheaters are liars, it goes with the job description.<P>I hope you are all right. Condoms aren't particularly effective with crabs or HPV or herpes...but they are better than nothing.

Thanks everyone for your support. He comes home tomorrow. I still don't know what to believe. He broke down in tears when he was on the phone yesterday, still denying that he has been cheating. My heart melted but I was so angry. Thanks to your advise and heartfelt support, I am ready face him. I only hope that I can be strong and remain rational. I want to believe him but how can I when I have so much proof slapping me in the face.