Ok, up front I'll disclose that this is a very judgemental e-mail, not typically me but I just had to share.

As you may have guessed, I had the opportunity to see the OW tonight for the first time

My very soon to be X (will sign papers in 43 hours, but who's counting <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> )
brought her to our son's baseball game tonight.

No warning until I got there then he said, I'm not alone.

Funny thing, I wasn't intimidated at all. Of course, after a quick peek, I knew immediately that I had wasted the past year trying to measure up to an idea. Reality was pretty clear and actually pretty ugly.

I'm quite surprised.

As I said before, I can always lose weight, she will always be ugly!!!!!

Glad this is out of the way. I can truly wish him happiness now.

Oh, by the way, she was wearing a very nice diamond engagement ring. When she walked off to get her daughter, I asked him when the wedding was. He dodged the question and just laughed. I told him he should wait at least 45 hours because it helped if you were divorced prior to applying for the marriage license. He laughed and said he told he might could do that.

He never actually introduced us. I talked a bit to her daugther, who was cute( must look like her Dad <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ) A one point he was giving her daughter a dollar for a drink. I was standing at the end of the bleachers where they were sitting. He asked her if she wanted a drink or anything, she said kind of loud, " No baby, that's ok" I looked up and said, Hey Baby what about me? Can I have something?? He almost cracked up. It was really funny. I then just said I was sorry I was making him uncomfortable and I walked over to talk to some friends.

Ironic thing is that he always thought I was funny even when being a smart-[censored]. We often used to kid around making smart remarks etc. I know he really wanted to laugh but couldn't because of her.

I am really at peace now.

Needing to work on self-disipline, self-esteem, time management and organization but overall way past greiving over the breakup of my marriage.

Have a great night everyone!

Lynn

Lynn - People Pleaser - Yeah!!!! Good for you you sound like you handled everything wonderful -you give me hope that I can go on without my husband - You are right ugly is forever and if she is ugly on the outside - more than likely she is ugly on the inside... Good luck...

Well, I had heard stories that she was a gold-digger who would do anything to catch and keep her man. I tried not be be judgemental as I had never met her or seen her.

My MIL told my Mom that OW was about size 12 with big boobs and long dark hair. I was really expecting so much more. I'm not a very superficial person, I don't go overboard with makeup or hairspray, etc. Funny thing was that you could tell she was doing her absolute best to look good, lots of makeup, hair partially pulled up, etc.

It just wasn't happening , girlfriends!!!!!

Maybe this was the inspiration I needed to drop that extra weight. I would never ever take him back but now I know I can truly enjoy knowing I looked better than her. Quite frankly, I'm no beauty queen so if I can honestly say I look better than her, she is seriously in trouble.

Nice ring though.......

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> PP

I have saw my ex's girlfriend (he claims they are not that serious), but is she UGLY!! I couldn't believe my eyes, after years of his criticizing me, i must say, i am WAY better looking than her. He says she is really nice though. (i guess i wasn't) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> But since my divorce, i have lost 30 pounds, and now the ex always compliments me, (little too late for that)
I have only seen her once, actually, by mistake, when me and the kids were dropping something off at the ex's house, and she was just pulling up. My kids have not met her, and we both agree, it is WAY too soon to introduce them to anyone yet.
They definately don't want to meet her yet.

It is amazing what we get dumped for isn't it. When I found out my x was fooling around with someone from work that drove a sports car, I imagined some young dr with apony tail driving a BWM.

Imagine my suprise when I knocked on their motel room door and this old guy with graying hair and poor posture opened the door. His sports car turned out to be some old Firebired that he had rebuilt, not restored, but rebuilt.

Later on I would see him shuffling across the Kmart parking lot. I found out later that he had been fired from 2-3 jobs and had 2-3 affairs.

What a prize. I know I had my problems, but geesh!

"Needing to work on self-disipline, self-esteem, time management and organization but overall way past greiving over the breakup of my marriage."

Me too. If you have any great ideas on how to accomplish those things let me know!

Well, it's not the way we envisioned our lives, but I have to believe that we are still the winners in all of this.

The WH and OW really won't live happily ever after, but there is still a chance that WE WILL!

We can still look at ourselves in teh mirror in the morning and be proud of who we are and what we've accomplished and even what we attempted to do by struggling to save our marriages.

God sure does work in mysterious ways. Actually I think that our WH's jsut fell into temptation, but even so, I don't think that God will let them ruin our lives.

I'm glad to see that you're doing ok with where you are at.

K

Hi guys,

I haven't postted on the D site before, was mainly just lurking around, but man do I want to get in on this one......

Me-BS 37
H-WS 40
Married 16 yrs
2 glorious boys <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

OW 34 or 36 I actually have forgotten
H met OW at where else WORK
We are currently working on reconciliation

Although my brother said she was stump ugly....really thought there had to be something cute about her.......OMG, I freaked out when I saw her....stump ugly was gravely underestimated.......I Looked at H when I saw her and actually said....what the H were you thinking...he had said before he thought she was pretty..awwww

This chick was mud/stump/but ugly...he said to me you know better than anyone(I preach this all the time) that beaty is skin deep...(I am overweight myself but damn and OW isn't) I said yeah I can see where her personality must have made up for it...OW trying her dangdest to break up our marriage(she tried real hard) lied to her husband and my H...I could go on and on but he kinda got it at that point...(this was after we started reconciling that I saw her) I told H I wished I had seen her while they were "special friends" that no wonder this stupid EA affair never turned PA.....now she's a double bagger. I would have not thrown so many tantrums....

Anyway, thanks for letting me join in on this one...I'm not really that superficial either but you know what....I deserve to think what I want to think about OW.....she hurt my life(I know H did to)

You guys have a good day,
Rabbitt

<small>[ August 26, 2002, 11:15 PM: Message edited by: rabbitt ]</small>

Thanks everyone. It's 2:30 am here and I can't sleep. Too late to take anything. I woke up around midnight from a 30 min nap in a panic attack thinking I had been robbed. At that time I couldn't seem to get woke up enough to figure out I must have been dreaming. Of course now here I am, wide awake.

I may work on some life goals. I've already watched some baseball, took a hot bath, read, took dogs out, etc. I might as well make good use of this time. Tomorrow is gonna be a pain.

Lots of thoughts running through my head tonight. I appreciate the support and comments here. I felt bad for being so mean about OW being ugly but I'm over it now. As someone said, I can feel however I want to about her. Funny thing is that now that I've seen her, I really don't give them much of a chance. Guess it finally brought all the missing pieces together and now I can truly let go. I'm still furious that he plays happy home with her and our kids when we are not yet divorced. But the kids seem to like her and her D, go I would rather have it that way then the other. I asked the kids tonight how it made them feel for her to be there. My D said it made her uncomfortable. I asked them if they understood about us getting divorced and neither of them did. I explained briefly that Wednesday we would no longer be legally married to each other and that a judge would give us a divorce. They seemed to like the idea of court. D wanted to know if she could go. I asked why and she said so she could ask for a pizza and a coke when the judge said "order in the court". I think she has been watching too much Nickeloden.

Thanks again. GIIC, I attended a leadership conference last week which involved a lot of self-analysis. As hard as it was, I truly see some areas in my life that need serious work. If I figure out a successful organization plan, I will be glad to let you know. Right now, I'm still sorting through all the feedback. Its scary to ask 8 of our coworkers to list your strengths and weaknesses. It's even scarier when you have to list 25 of your own. I have much work to do but already I can see how the past 17 months since H left home have changed me, 75% at least on the positive side.

I am a good person..... I am a good person.....

Good night all!

PP

Put a finger in each corner of your mouth and pull really hard in opposite directions--that's my husband's ex-OW. We are talking an old, chain-smoking Steve Tyler here. Lips like a horse. Kiss me, baby! Neigh!!!

Oh My!
I have been laughing out loud. Ya'all are too funny, I am going to be mean and join in! This is therapy!!! H's chicken-head is butt-ugly and has a mouth full of the cavity creeps, summa teeth, some on one side some on the other !!NONE IN THE MIDDLE!!!! I have only seen her from a distance but have several first hand reports that she needs a dentist and some caps in a bad way. I was once told that her teeth look like she had been chewing nails. Again a case of I can lose the weight for free but caps cost money!!!!! I was devistated when I learned that she was only 21, (h is 36) and I am going to be 30 in November. It hurt my ego for a long time, now I just understand what she does for him she tolerates his irresponsible A$$ and doesn't talk back, does what he says, and caters to his aging ego, he thinks he looks good, he actualy believes that people still respect him. How could they when he put all his dirt out in the street. When he tries to play house with her and my children. When he takes her to dinner at OUR friends house knowing that their daughters are her age. He is scum. If it hadn't been her it would have been someone else I don't doubt that at all. I heard she was pretty miserable, and that she is filling my shoes well, beign stuck at home while H is out in the clubs by himself.
Sorry, needed to vent. That felt kind good. Hope you don't mind.

well...

My STBXW is a knockout...buuuut...as much heart ache she has given me with the running around with 19 and 24 year old boys, doing drugs with the young crowd, partying until she pukes in a bar and has to sleep in the car because she is too drunk to drive, always being late to watch the kids, is so vain that she warned me that my hair better not thin too much or else, I would rather have someone who is not a model, but is stable, and loves someone for who they are, not the car, money, etc.

(p.s., is this a run-on sentence?...oh well...)

This thread is too funny! I've heard everything from too plain to downright ugly from people who have seen the OW in my situation. This of course, is not to mention my girls telling me she has a HUGE POINTY nose, stringy, stringy thin hair and saggy boobs - she hasn't even had kids, at least I have an excuse <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ! Yeah, I can lose weight, but she can't change her ugliness....

I just love this post, about the OW's looks!! My ex is 35 and i am 43, his new girlfriend is 41, i believe, but looks at least 10 years older. He always goes for the "older" women, looks for a "mom" figure in them, i guess. Believe me, she is nothing to look at.

I have lost 30+ pounds on WW, and am 5 lbs from my goal weight, my ex does nothing but compliment me now, (where were the compliments during the last 11 years with him)!!!! And imagine this, he never seemed to care about what i did when married to him, now he can't stand it!! I think he is beginning to realize that "life has gone on without him" and doesn't like it too much <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I didn't really get a good look at my XH's new chick, he's only brought her once when he's picked up the kids, and I didn't leave the house; I send the kids out to avoid talking to my XH. I just noticed that the chick in the car WASN'T his mommy for once!!

All I noticed was reddish curly hair and sunglasses. Couldn't even guess at an age or looks. Maybe sometime I'll get a good look at her.

I'm not a beauty, but he had said I was 'out of his league', meaning he had always dated less attractive women ... I don't expect her to be any different! What's really important is that she cooks and cleans and doesn't disagree with him; if she does that, they'll get along fine. :} Maybe he won't sick his mommy on her for treating him as less than a king.

This is a fun, if somewhat vindictive, thread. Fun is good.

I bet there are very few people here who would say their x/stbx is with a better looking person. I know I sure wouldn't.

I guess if I was a man, I could possibly see some advantages to having a woman with no front teeth. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

However, I'm sort of struggling with my body/looks these days. I'd love to drop 10 pounds but don't have the grit to do it. Just another hassle and I don't want any more hassles these days. And my d commented the other day about the gray in my hair. And, I'm not as young as I used to be. And it's beginning to show.

But BF says I'm fine and that I feel just right so what more can I ask for?

This is why I stay away from magazines. I feel inferior to all those young, airbrushed models. Ah, the wonders of digital imaging. If only they could digitize out my smile lines around my eyes.

Oh, my, sounds like a pity party coming on. I better run and hide - or go look at photo of x's wife.

I definatley don't consider myself a beauty queen by no means, but i do work out and stay in shape. My ex constantly dwelled on looks of everyone, and believe me, he is NO PRIZE at all!! Funny thing is the way he dresses (he knows nothing about dressing and matching), and this girl he has been dating, doesn't either. That is one thing i noticed about her the one time that i saw her. She is stuck in an "80's rut" and that is how my ex is. Maybe they were made for each other <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
He certainly hasn't changed at all. I guess she will find out one day <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, Ladies....

I am sure many guys (especially those that have been burnt) would always prefer someone who is normal than one of those high maintenance, complaining, vain, narcissistic, hedonistic, *****y, cheating, lying, adulterous wenches who are beautiful (sorry, got carried away--Freudian slip?) anyday!!!

Ok. Here goes. I used to call this OW "monkeyho" b/c she had this pug kinda nose . Basically, she looks like a hooker in a business suit. She does have a really good figure. Although...her lips are really big. She actually convinced my H that both her lips and chest were real..NOT!

She has also convinced my H that she is a real blonde. I am and have been so since birth. It was ME that was indeed a former beauty queen and although I am not thin as a stick, I have still got an ok bod. I just used to not fix my self up like a fashion plate every day. I was a stay at home mom and she was a trained sales monkey who's quota depended upon who or let's attempt to rephrase this..what she was doing..Sorry, didn't mean to be this ugly but this rant is just flowng like the tide on a lovely carribean beach...

Anyway, monkey dumped him a few weeks ago. H said she was his "SOUL MATE" guess not now. He threw it all away and now even justifies it all by saying that we were never friends, that we should have never married, etc. But...if she was so dad gum hot, then why did he, does he still find himself so physically attracted to me?

It's so funny now, I work each day and have the opportunity to be in an environment where there are actually men present (medical field). I re entered my old profession this year and can remember when he used to hate it when all the guys used to chase me around the hospital. Well guess what, everything old is new again folks. I look better than last year, and have a new attitude.

The grass is never greener. We must let them graze and graze though..I pray he comes back one day, but it isprobably too late. At least he has to see me look good and knows I am not always at home serving him, waiting on him, waiting to see if he calls, if he wants me back. I'm moving forward and he can either catch up with me and our son one day or he will become just another part time parent who misses out on the really best part. Sometimes that "old shoe" you have, you know the one which is soooo way comfortable and feels just right? Well it can be taken to the shoestore and re-worked so it looks even better than new! So I guess I can happily say that I am proud to be an old shoe..Some guy one day, if not WH, will get one heck of a deal on vintage (33 year old) footwear..hee hee.

You rock on and keep those posts a comin'. This is awesome! Goin out with my son now and these boots are made for walkin'! We're going for Japanese and I am indeed wearing something cute, fixing my hair and a bit of makeup. And I do this for ME and son and NOBODY ELSE.

As Erma Bombeck once said, the grass is always greener over the SEPTIC TANK... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Oh, and I forgot to say that they are not smart either, these OM and OW...They do the darndest things...

How about we leave the looks department and discuss their I.Q. or lack thereof?

This could be even more hilarious. My H's OW, actually get this, took him to a "Song of Solomon" marriage conference at a very large church about 1 mile from our old house. He was immediately spotted by friends from our old Sunday school class and they were busted. Not so bright..Plus, she looked even more holike..It's just not PRUDENT (play on her real name which is ironically a character quality and one she doesn't possess) to parade your EA around in God's own home...

I actually spoke to her one time on the phone and I prayed with this woman last year and really tried to show her love and compassion. She told me taht my H had a "definite problem with lying" and that she felt that "he had been unfaithful to her with ME (HIS WIFE...)." Not exactly rocket science...Plus once, she sent him this package and forgot that her business address and her name was on the return ticket (it was really small and on the other side of the package). But even the dumb and unfortunate wise up and she did. We'll see how long this breakup lasts...

We cold call this addendum to this topic "Dumb and Dumber..." Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Love your post, all sounds soooo familiar <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

This girl has to be "stupid" to put up with my ex's crap. I don't think he looks at it as a serious commitment (obviously, there have been times in the past since he has been with her, that we have been intimate, and i know he dates others) I am SURE she knows nothing of any of this, I think she looks at it differently!! I guess she will soon find out the hard way.

This guy will never be able to be trusted!!!

By the way, have a great dinner, sounds good <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />