I'll be in court today at 2 my time. I'm doing ok thanks to a good friend who gave me something funny to think about if I started to cry.

Cried some this morning but overall I'm very glad today is finally here.

I'm a bit worried about the kids. OW was at ballgame last night too. D says is makes her uncomfortable. Yesterday Son was bad in school more than normal and this morning he asks me if we can move. He actually said, When can we just get out of this house and move away? He's 6.

My heart is hurting for them. After 2 nights of seeing H and OW holding hands, rubbing legs, kissing etc in the stands, I'm about to throw up anyway. H makes a point to sit right beside me in the bleachers. I was going to say something but I think I'll let it ride. It has to bother OW that he chooses to sit next to me.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated today.

Lynn

((((((((Lynn)))))))

I know it's a tough day, even though it is what is best.

I do ask that today, you make sure you watch your kids. You have people and the ability to talk through your issues, they need the same. My girls knew for a LONG time we were getting divorced but the finality of the day we got divorced really hit them hard, especially my oldest.

It's probably a good night to take them out to eat and have a little one on one talk with each of them.

Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers

ps. Remember (don't roll it around, just flick it)

My prayers are definitely with you. I know how horrible it feels leading up to, and during court, as mine became final yesterday at 2 (one of worst 2 days of my life, the other being when he told me he was leaving).

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I agree with Bill; make it as special a day
as you can for your kids. I would expect you all need each other tremendously at this
point in time. The insensitivity of the WS's just amazes me! It's as though they are not
only in the fog, but all their common sense/sensitivity gets totally zapped out of them. Holding
hands, rubbing legs, etc.?!!! To inflict that publicly on his young children and STILL AT THAT TIME WIFE is SO CRUEL!! I guess to some extent they really do go brain dead at this time in their lives.

Anyways, you are the faithful, steady one. The kids will certainly recognize that and respect you for that. Hold on to what you know to be true and good and right. God will honor that and you can hold your head high, knowing you've lived your life with integrity. Stay strong! -nel

Lynn- I will be thinking of you today at 2:00pm - You will do great - just think positive and that maybe this bad chapter in your life is coming to an end - I don't mean your whole marriage - just the crap that it is now - I wish you much happiness in the future - I will be in the same shoes as you on 9-18 at 2:00 est and I am thinking that I might feel relieved that it is finally here and overwith - I know though I will be sad but I also know that at this point I can handle anything - Good Luck - and let us know how it goes - and just give the OW the evil eye or sit closer to your exhusband to tick her off - Think Happy Thoughts !!!!

Lynn: It is a little past 2:00 (est) now and I am thinking good thoughts for your. Hope everything works out for you.

Lynn: It is a little past 2:00 (est) now and I am thinking good thoughts for you. Hope everything works out well.

Lynn,

I want you to know that you and your children are being thought of today! Prayers are being said for you all. No matter how we prepare ourselves, going to divorce court just plain hurts! Keep your children close today, their hugs and kisses will keep you going!

On the brighter side:

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life! New chapter, new memories.

Gayle

P.S. Give yourself something special today, no matter how big or small, you deserve it!

pp -

I hope that everything went ok in court.

Know that more prayers are being sent your way.

Try not to focus on the whys today. We all know that you hung in there and it was ExH who threw it all away.

God will surely bless you and your family.

K

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I could feel the prayers today. Everything went very smoothly. My mom teared up ( she was my witness that we have been separated at least 1 year) I agreed to change our the grounds to separation rather than adultry.

I wrote our agreement last September but H's lawyer retyped it into an official document. Therefore since the defense offically wrote it according to the judge, H's lawyer was the one to present it to the court. He of course did a fine job of making H look like a saint for giving me the house, letting me keep my profit sharing, etc. He emphasized the things I got to keep, failing to disclose that most are mortgaged heavily. He failed to mention H had profit sharing plan and retirement also, etc, etc. He skimmed through or failed to mention the 2 boats, saving account balance and 2 trucks H took with him.

Blah, Blah, Blah, what a great guy he is to let me keep the house. Yeah, the house that I paid everydime for over the years. The house that needs $10,000 of repairs before I could put it on the market. He failed to emphasize I get the $1,150 house payment too and the priviledge of maintaining a 4 acre yard. I'm just so lucky!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I know it was a fair deal heavily in my favor(the profit sharing deal), and even my lawyer said most judges would not approve it except that we both had good legal counsel. I did get a slight increase in child support since he now makes more money than me. I was shocked by that but he works 6 days a week sometimes 7. The overtime really adds up I guess. Sometimes being salaried sucks!

I did take the kids out to eat tonight and I did tell them the divorce was final and asked if they had any questions, concerns, etc. I didn't push the issue as neither one of them seemed comfortable with the subject at all. I'm going to talk to the school counselor tomorrow night at PTO about talking to them individually.

I did tell Ex-H after court that son was having trouble with behavior at school and D told me it was uncomfortable for OW to be at ballgames. I asked why all the sudden she had to be there. He agreed that it was uncomfortable for him too but I didn't get a response from him as to why she started coming. We got interrupted because the lawyers wanted me to sign the deed to our 7 acres in the country back over to him right then. You know, I didn't even read those papers. Hope there was nothing fishy about them. Oh well. I was even able to find the deed and the survey plat in the paperwork I gave my lawyer. (Who's unorganized now??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )

Had a nice dinner, went to Wal-Mart to buy filters for the furnace and the new Dixie Chicks CD. Went by the Church for a while.

Thanks again for all the support and prayers. I am truly blessed with beautiful children, good friends and mostly a Faithful Loving Lord.

Lynn

Peoplepleaser - You sound good - I am glad everything went ok and that it is all over for you - Now you can begin the next chapter of your life. Your children will adjust - as long you are there for them and try and help them understand - I think that the better you begin to feel about things the more the children will become adjusted - I know when we first seperated and I was such a basket case my kids were a wreck they were worried about me and wouldn't leave my side. But now that I am ok somewhat and only have occasional meltdowns they are better. They basically just think I have cracked - LOL !!! Hopefully your ex will take their feelings into consideration and not have the OW in their presence because they are uncomfortable and frankly who could blame them. I hope you sleep well and have a great day tomorrow <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> !!!

Maw,

Thanks so much. I'm going to bed early tonight. Got a call from my Mom, my great uncle died this morning, I'm going to stay at my mom's house some this weekend, to tend to her dogs while she is gone to the funeral.

Did get a note from son's teacher that he had a better day today. That was a blessing.

Thanks again. I will pray for you too.

Lynn

My thoughts and prayer are with you and your children as you struggle through these difficult days. Be strong for your kids and especially take care of yourself. > Karl

surprise surprise.... sorry for the redundant statement but I hate that man. He and OW make me sick.

So much for the judge commending XH for putting kids first in the settlement. Don't reckon she'll think he was such a saint if she knew he brought OW to ballgame again after D admitted it made her uncomfortable. AND he blew off PTO. Granted it is long, tiring and it is somewhat difficult to sit in those little bitty chairs but the kids need to know that their parents are interested in their schoolwork. School is 5 days a week. Playtime with Dad is only 4 days a month.

I'm am extremely disappointed that his children's school life in not important enough that he could take 1 hour away from OW to meet the kids teachers and find out how they are doing at school.

Once again, this is redundant, my now XH (hurry up and sign those papers, judge) is a selfish, cold-hearted, foolish, blind, and stupid man and I hate him.

I know most people know where I'm coming from. It just seems each time I let myself beleive he might do the right thing where the kids are concerned, he proves me wrong. I'm tired of being so naive. The man is a lier, a cheater, and an inconsiderate self-centered, pu**y whipped, small-balled fool. I no longer want him in my life at all. He is the kids Dad but I'm not going out of my way to make sure he stays informed of school functions, ball schedules, etc anymore. He is a parent the same amount of the time I am. He chooses to not see the kids during the week because OW and sleep are more important. I have always made excuses for his behavior and made sure he knew everything about thier schedules, etc. No more. Let OW figure it out.

Have a good night everyone. Thanks for listening.

Did I mention I hate him?????

PP

I haven't posted in over 8 months now b/c my situation turned for the worse. Like you, my marriage fell apart b/c of infidelity. My H and the OW (she ironically broke up with him 2 months ago) are no longer together, but he claims she is his good friend and they talk on the phone.

I am almost in tears and will pray so hard for both you and your children tonight. As for your XH and his OW, their relationship is DOOMED. We both know this. It is amazing to me just how these WS's can justify their actions and make it all seem ok once divorce is emminent. In my case, we had a temporary hearing last month, and in the 11th hour, his side opted to settle with my attorney and I and the ugly hearing was avoided. He even attempted to try to obtain custody of my four year old son. It just rips your soul out and some nights I can't sleep.

I am hoping that this night is one of clarity for you. God bless you, friend. Stay strong for your children. Our God is indeed an awesome God and just sit back tonight and at some time find a place to just sit still and shut your eyes and feel His presence and love. God will be with you and I thank you for writing--reading your posts have encouraged me to again come back here to find support.

Bye for now. Just remember, we are praying.