Not mine. They come from an inservice a CW gave on the works of Ken Moses on the coping process. I can't post all now but one of the steps really meant a lot to me.

The steps (they don't have a chronological order) are:

Contain the Impact of the Loss (more later)

Devalue "Normal" Standards:
(see below)

Enlarge Scope of Values (more later)

Shift from Comparative to asset values (more later).

Okay, the one that really struck me, Devalue Normal Standards:

Societal denial is manifested through a pervasive message that loss is a "low incidence" occurrence that only affects certain people in our culture. It is not considered normal to come from a divorced family, lose your parents, have an impaired child, be wheel-chair bound, struggle with a manic depressive disorder or suffer with a terminal illness. Integrating into normal society is often prohibited when one has sustained a loss. The true inhibitor is the attitude of the bereaved or afflicted person who believes he or she is an inferior person.
In truth, loss is one of the most normalizing of all human experiences, cutting across all socio-economic lines. (emphasis added by me) Coping requires that one confront, behaviorally, the restrictive, insulting, and arrogant impact that the maintainance of a set of normal standards causes.

I did promise I would add more information about the 4 issues in coping and although there doesn't seem to be a lot of interest, a promise is a promise.

Okay, description of "Contain[ing] the Inpact of the Loss":

When a person sustains a core level loss, their whole life is impacted. There appears to be a natural tendency to generalize the impact of the loss in such a way as to create an immobilizing attitude that implies "everything" is lost, ruined, or meaningless. Coping with loss requires a careful and accurate assessment of what is actually impacted (lost), what is salvagable and what aspects of one's life has been unscathed by the loss. Such a sorting process occurs through "containing the impact of the loss".

Devalu[ing] "Normal" Standards has already been described.

Enlarg[ing] Scope of Values is described as follows:

As people grow and develop, they ironically often become more narrow around the vaalues that they hold. When one sustains a substative loss, often the value system that one held is fundamentally shaken. To cope with a loss that has shaken one's basic values, one needs to enlarge the scope of one's values to deal with things as they now are.

Shift[ing] from Comparative to Asset values:

People appear to be more concerned about how they stand in relation to others, than what assets they are acquiring or accomplishing. That is uncomfortable for most people, but becomes intolerable when a loss precludes comparative success. In truth, there are no comparative successes, and ultimately all people come to understand that all we have are asset values. Therefore, coping with loss includes making changes that reflect the shift from comparative to asset values.

Again, the above comes from the works of B. Wright and Ken Moses