M-1985
Kids, two, wonderful
M/C-94, Did not get much out of it, though we learned how to argue without too many problems.
W-A-Sept.2000
M/C again at my request, late Aug. early Sept.
I don't care for September much anymore.
W-discloses at joint session, does not want to continue marriage.
I have been at this site daily ever since.
Hi all,
Though I am new here in Divorce, I have posts in Emotions, since W dropped the bomb about wanting out.
I have been posting on other peoples threads, in here an Emotional, for lack of better reasons, I am very emotional, but through the guidance of others here, I have come here to post my own thread, (please see, My Own New Thread, in Emotional)
I am comitted to making it, through this dark if not black time in my life, I just need support, and guidance, and inspiration.
D has not ever been an issue for me as I and The Lord does not take too kindly to the word, but unfortunately, as of a few months ago, my W suggested it. I initiated counciling, and went several time before she went, finally W went, once, then we went jointly. There she stated the marriage has been over for her for years and wants out.
I have spent the last two years treating her like a princess, and meeting her ENs, but I fell short, or so it seems.
I have been talking with alot of people here who have had great insight and suggestions, for me, which are most appreciated, though I think I need to be here now, since I have come to the conclusion that W wants out.
I spend lots of time with the kids now, which I know is a blessing, and am currently backed away from W, and giving the space she wants. No more clinging, and over affection, as everyone has told me to do.
But what now, sit and wait for her to make the next move, I am so confused and lost, hurt and desperate, how am I supposed to be, in this position, besides continuing on self improvement, and being there for the kids?
Please help......b

I am not sure why, but no one has replied to me here, maybe I am expecting too much, or everyone is busy with there own tribulations.
I gues I will give awhile and see, but I need daily discussion right now , so I will go to emotions, and post.....b

But what now, sit and wait for her to make the next move, I am so confused and lost, hurt and desperate, how am I supposed to be, in this position, besides continuing on self improvement, and being there for the kids?

B,

All you can do is continue to be yourself. You say you don't take too kindly to divorce, well then go to this site www.restorem.org and see if it may be something that will help you.
It has helped me in many ways and I have drawn so much closer to ther Lord. Before you make any decisions, pray about it and do what you believe is right in your heart. I am an email away if you need to talk.

Morriggs@yahoo.com

<small>[ September 17, 2002, 11:01 AM: Message edited by: Morriggs ]</small>

Okay, B!

Don't give up on the EN board yet...I've created a new thread, partially in honor of you!

We have several people who like yourself, are having particularly hard days, so I decided to change the subject.

Check it out.. Let's end the Pity Party!

B.W.

B
Ditto I am in the same boat I dont believe in divorce and my wife is not sure she has it in her to work on us any more, she did say its over but that she is not filing right away, i take that as sign shes not sure if divorce is the answer she needs I should probably be here inhtis board but i tend to stay on EN because there are so many wonderful people there that help me try to stay positive I probsably would have attempted suicide AGAIN if it wasnt for this site Hang in there

B
Ditto I am in the same boat I dont believe in divorce and my wife is not sure she has it in her to work on us any more, she did say its over but that she is not filing right away, i take that as sign shes not sure if divorce is the answer she needs I should probably be here inhtis board but i tend to stay on EN because there are so many wonderful people there that help me try to stay positive I probsably would have attempted suicide AGAIN if it wasnt for this site Hang in there

As I sit here at a loss for words, due to the uncontrollable tears, I want to tell you all, thank you from the bottom of my broken heart for replying and geuine love and care I get from this whole site.
I will check out the suggestion of the other site, and I am, daily being drawn closer to God.
This may be divine intervention and I have not seen it yet.
I need you all so much right now words cannot possibly relate, what I need to say.
Thank you all so much...God bless everyone...b

B,
I'm sorry I missed your post the first time around.
There are many good people on this board as well... so keep coming back.
To answer your first question... IMHO, you keep doing just what you are doing.
Take care of yourself and your children.
let your "W" make the next move.
If your "W" does file for "D", you are going to need all the energy you can muster.
Confusion, as well as all the rest, is a perfectly normal feeling to feel right now.
We know how you feel, it will get better in time.
If it gets to be to much for you to handle, you might want to see an "IC".
Try to keep everything as normal as possible in your household.
Try to get as much sleep, and exercise as you can... as well as maintaining well balanced meals (easier said than done).
I'm sorry that you have had this happen to you, but you are in a good place.
We are with you on this and we are here to help you as best we can.
Keep us posted.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Thank you Wallace, I plan on being here for a long time to come. I am truley blessed with all of you at MB. Today was a very emotional day for me as I read these posts it is very hard not to cry, I don't know if it is the relief knowing you are all here for me, or what but words are not enough, to thank each and everyone of you.
I am going riding with the guys tonight, a weekly deal now, helps alot, so no lack of excercise here, keeping things normal at the house, I am doing well at that, the eating habits, those are out the window, but I need to stay fit anyhow for riding so, another blessing!
Again, thank you all for everything today, I don't know if I could have made it without you.
have a great night and a better tomorrow.....b

Bless you, B!

We have all sorts of other things going on over at EN.

I think my life might be in danger...no kidding, this guy is talking about selling machine guns, silencers, and such!

Yuck! I told the man I thought he was disgusting! Don't think I made a very good impression!

B.W.

B...
I'm glad that you found "MBers".
It's good to hear that your getting some good exercise... it helps big time.
We are here for you on these boards as well as all the other boards on this site... as there is much wisdom to be found by all that are here.
May the Lord be with you always.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

B

Still praying for you.

morriggs@yahoo.com

I want to give something back today instead of getting the keyboard all wet, here goes, "It takes a strong person to deal with tough times and difficult choices. But you are a strong person. It takes courage. But you possess the inner courage to see you through. It takes being an active participant in your life. But you are in the drivers seat, and you can determine the direction you want tomorrow to go in. Hang in there...and take care to see that you don't lose sight of the one thing that is constant, beautiful, and true; Everything will be fine--and it will turn out that way because of the special kind of person you are.
So...beginning today and lasting a lifetime through--hang in there, and don't be affraid to feel like the morning sun is shining....just for you."
Douglas Pagels
This especially goes out to all that have personally posted for me, but I hope it does everyones heart good...
I am feeling better, not good, but better today,
the ride was awesome last night, and thanks to Morriggs, I am continuing.....
Give me time I will eventually remember everyone here, in my thoughts and prayers.
P.s A friend of mine gave me a wonderful book with quotes and sayings from those who have a way with words, though I would love to be able to expound on life the way they do, I cannot, so in the meantime, I will just copy them down, for others to benefit from....
" Life only demands from you the strength you possess"
Dag Hammarskjold
God bless each and everyone of you...b

B,
Thank you for sharing.
I'm glad to hear that your ride went well last night.
Keep up the good work... you sound much better today.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Hey B/W,
What is the danger all about, and where did the armour come from? You get away from that sh*t right now, I personally do not get into guns and ammo, and they are never safe unless they are not there in the first place.
There is enough going on in your life, without that, jeeesssse!
I hope that you can see that.....b