We're working on settling this out of court, but I'd like some opinions on this:
The settlement my lawyer and I proposed said that since we have 3 children, each of us would have one exemption and the third would alternate every year. His lawyer came back saying that since I don't make alot of money (I work two part time jobs now), my stbx should get all the exemptions. That doesn't seem quite right to me, but I really don't understand taxes and all very well, so I'd appreciate opinions.

Single moms and single working moms need all the breaks period.

Sit on that issue. Do not back down. I am not going to. Remember, let you lawyer fight for you. Glad you are settling this between yourselves, but remember that your lawyer IS TO REPRESENT WHAT IS YOUR BEST INTEREST. And if mediation is not productive, I will go to court. Find that link on Tao of Divorce...

Oh and thanks for that charisma link. It made me soooooo mad...

I agree with peachy.

I currently stay at home, but will be going back to work in a few years, which is what we agreed would be best when we were married, so he couldn't say it wasn't best after he left us! I had it written in to the divorce papers that I get to decide the exemptions each year. Last year I gave him all 3, since it didn't affect me one way or the other. I could still claim head of household and I also qualified for earned income credit. This year I won't get any of that, and will owe on maintenance, so I will probably claim 2 and give him 1. Good luck!
Who am I now

Annavon-

Just so you understand how the IRS looks at it, they view the issue...(See Below) that the the exemption for children goes to the custodial parent unless you both agree otherwise...if you are the custodial parent...be careful what you agree to give up. By IRS code if there is no agreement between the parties, the parent that has custody gets the exemption/s by default. Cover this with your divorce attorney, sometimes they are not on top of all the tax / IRS issues.

Good luck!

MR R

THE DEPENDENCY EXEMPTION
The Internal Revenue Code states that the dependency exemption for the minor children automatically goes to the custodial parent. 26 U.S.C.A. § 152(e)(1). This can be switched between the parties but only by agreement. To do so, the custodial parent must complete and sign IRS form 8332 and indicate on the form the duration of the assignment (usually "this year and all subsequent years")

<small>[ October 11, 2002, 08:27 PM: Message edited by: mrrlk ]</small>

thank you very much Mr. R, I was not aware of that! I will ask my lawyer what she thinks. His lawyer stated that he thought the court would give stbx the exemptions if we went that route, because of the high amount of child support he pays.......now he makes about $1600 a month and pays me $563......he could make more but he loses jobs alot and is always starting over. He also has no health insurance for the children, altho they are on medicaid.

I have expenses of $150 a month for my medication (i'm diabetic) and no insurance or medicaid.

Annavon,

Does he have insurance? my stbx is paying for my and son's. His lawyer is trying leverage tactics. He should not get the exemption. Sorry about his changing jobs, but that is the price to pay when you are irresponsible and cannot fulfill the duties of a faithful husband. His lawyer is just trying to work out a good deal for him.

Lawyers always smile when they're trying to pull a fast one on you. He is playin on your sympathy. Where was your stbx's sympathy when you wanted to work on things? Just like mine. It wasn't there. Only when it comes to their self preservation will they want to "work things Out". Think about that really hard; I do.

no, he has no insurance, never has in 12 years of marriage.

His lawyer also stated that he wanted the no contact order dropped completely and immediately as his client is adamant that "there was no reason for it in the first place". Sheesh, I think the statement "I didn't have to call you, I could've just waited for you with my shotgun" was pretty threatening. Not to mention his constant yelling and verbal abuse. He STILL denies that he was abusive! Good thing I have witnesses. I think the fact that he beat his first wife and has a felony conviction for pulling a gun on an officer hold some weight too, even if it was 15 years ago; before I knew him.

You should read Tax Exemptions for Children. The general rule is that the custodial parent takes the exemptions and that is a good starting place in your negotiation. However, you may allocate the exemptions in any way that you can agree upon.

Since my XW and I divorced amicably and trust each other, we put the exemptions wherever we get the best return and one party reimburses the other party half of the return.

Just remember, this is advice about financial and tax matters from a software engineer. You should probably consult an income tax professional (probably not your divorce attorney).

I would not give him any tax exemptions. You have the full financial responsibility of raising those kids. And since he goes through jobs alot, and you go through a period of his not working, so that means no child support, he still gets the exemption, even though he didn' pay you much.

I would do like WhoamInow did. If it does not effect you, let him have the deductions, but if it will help you, then you get the deduction.

It is the rare situation where the child support is more than enough to support the custodial parents family situation. Most of the time, even if the custodial parent works, they are still barely making it. Why should they get the perks while you struggle.

Annavon,

We have 3 kids...ours worked out this way..I claim the oldest and youngest..he claims our middle child..

Look at the ages of your children..and make a suggestion he claim the middle child..the oldest will most likely leave home first..and you will both still be claiming one..and since they will be living with you...you should claim the youngest as you will still be supporting him/her the longest..

I'll have to fill out the above stated form..
for ex to file on middle child..but that was something we were able to agree upon..

He was mad because I claimed them ALL last year..
since he moved the year before..and he had to pay..his lawyer tried to say I owed him half of my return..my atty said..Sorry bud..His income wasn't filed on..just hers..it's not her fault
he loaned the government the money all year and didn't change his exemptions when he decided to move out..

<small>[ October 12, 2002, 06:42 PM: Message edited by: ThornedRose ]</small>

If you have primary physical custody you would get all the exemptions, unless you sign them over every year. I think a judge could order you to do that as part of the settlement.

If he makes more money, then your combined net incomes would be higher if he gets the exemptions. You should benefit from that, because your child support and alimony should increase when his net income goes up. If your state uses a formula to figure out the child support and alimony, then you need to estimate your net income both ways. That is, you estimate your net income and his, if he gets the exemptions. Then figure out the support from the formula, adding that to your net income. (Remember that you have to pay tax on alimony, but not child support. He can deduct alimony, but not child support). Then you figure it the other way, assuming you get the exemptions.

It amounts to filling out a tax return four times. Yes, this takes time and research, but it's worthwhile. You should have at least approximate figures for his income, from previous tax returns and any existing support orders. That's good enough for the estimates.

To say that single moms should get the exemptions, period, is an emotional response. Financially, there is a "right" answer that could be different.

Now having said all that, I have to admit that I'm not following my own advice. It would be better financially if I got the exemptions. The difference is that I would have to depend on my wife signing over the exemptions every single year. I don't want to rely on that. But as the primary custodial parent, you have more leverage. If you're not seeing any benefits, you don't have to sign over the exemptions.