Hanora, If you have in fact read all of my posts, then you know the D word is not in my vocabulary. And to, once again, clarify the Emily story...My H posted after I had confessed my EA. He says he felt that maybe he could get some better insight into what was going on with me, therefore posed as me under the guise of Emily. It's true, we write the same...afterall, we have been together over 15 yrs and most people within this timeframe tend to speak,act and even begin to resemble one another...God help me! LOL He's an Italian and I'm a German/Indian with red hair! <BR>I hope this clears up whatever confusion you may have regarding this whole mess. <BR>Now on to bigger and better things...I have a life. As do most of you...lets live them in peace.<BR>Thanks ;-)<BR>

[QUOTE]Originally posted by psychlyn2:<BR><B>JL, get off that high horse before you fall off! And please go to Emotional Needs and look for my name...read the entire post and be enlightened and may God forgive you for judging so harshly, a situation you knew very little about.</B><P>If you are intending to continue to juggle your heart between a husband and an "OM" for whom you now want to "just be friends" it is you that has a fall coming. As to the members of this board not understanding the intricacies of your unique situation...lol...well, every physical and emotional adulterer from Cleopatra to Clinton could talk a blue streak justifying their actions and the minutae of their incredibly individual situation, and they are all eager to avoid "judgement", from God or anyone else. But it is all the same plot....<P><B>Hanora, If you have in fact read all of my posts, then you know the D word is not in my vocabulary.</B><P>A lot of people in your situation have had to go look that word up when their seemingly doormat betrayed spouses expanded their vocabulary with court papers. <P>Your husband is in my prayers. If I were him, I'd be out the door until you pledged no contact.<P>Mike<P>

Mike, my heart goes out to you. I have not read any of your posts except the ones relating to this situation here, however, you seem awfully angry and I would venture to say, I'm going to be the butt of your anger for quite some time to come, which is ok with me, I can handle you. However, I would appreciate a bit more respect, especially since you know me not and you are judging me on a few words in my posts, obviously taken out of context. Emotions run high at times and things may be typed wrong, and I do not feel an obligation to prove my character and my future intentions to you, but I will say this, I hope you can recover from my mistakes. Sheesh, I've been bashed for many reasons, mostly because I am a strongminded, intelligent woman who plays no games and is honest enough to step forward, confess, make things right and move on. Again, if you wish to continue this argument, you will go it alone. BTW, my husband and I are happy. Our reconciliation has not come easy and there are still areas of work to contend with, yet we've created a home where our children are growing up happy and content. Life is good. I know what I have and thank God I didn't lose what is good and right and pure in my marriage. Move on Mike...you may be expending energy here which could be used to HELP someone. Good day to you.

frankie...<BR>D99...<BR>Carlton...<P>and now psychlyn2.<P>Birds of a feather. I'm not trying to be cryptic, but the oldtimers will know <B>exactly</B> what I'm talking about.<P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die

WhoDat,<P>I do miss D99, although I could understand your antipathy toward him. He was a very damaged man. As for the rest, yeah it did add some flavor to this place. <P>Oh, I did just get off my horse, but I think I stepped in something. <P>All I can say to Lyn/Emily whoever, I am not mad at you. I just think your statements made on this thread required exactly the response you got. As for your new thread, very interesting.<P>Please go read what you wrote there and then backtracked from. I think you will see why people reacted the way they did.<P>This whole thing is very strange. H posting as WS. WS responding and then blasting people because she makes some rather strong statements, but apparently doesn't like strong statements.<P>I have only one question for you Lyn/Emily? What can we do for you to help? I would be glad to do so if I can.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

JL, I have no need to backtrack nor to prove anything here, to you or anyone else, for that matter. LOL However, as I stated, emotions run high at times, menopause does that, and my posts seemed to be in the present tense, my apologies. We are doing great, no help needed. Thanks though. ;-)<BR>Hope all is well with you. You'll get used to my humor...and my emotional ways. LOL And if not, oh well, I'll laugh alone. LOL<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by psychlyn2:<BR><B>JL, I have no need to backtrack nor to prove anything here, to you or anyone else, for that matter. LOL However, as I stated, emotions run high at times, menopause does that, and my posts seemed to be in the present tense, my apologies. We are doing great, no help needed. Thanks though. ;-) Hope all is well with you. You'll get used to my humor...and my emotional ways. LOL And if not, oh well, I'll laugh alone. LOL</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Shouldn't these Gallows Laugh Out Louds be "GLOL" ?<BR>

JL:<P>Yeah... I know what you mean about D99. Despite my distaste for him, I truly felt sorry for him (but not as sorry as I was for his W... he did more damage to their marriage in the aftermath than she did with her affair, IMO). Don’t you ever wonder what happened to people like him, though? I think we can both figure out pretty easily what he would say to someone like psychlyn2, whose online “friendship” is far more important to her than her marriage. <P>But others... like Wexwill, or your own personal project Facing Choices. There was a guy named Anthony, whose wife wanted to “experience” things... he’s one I wonder about. So many different names have come and gone... it’s really sad. Many successes, many failures, and many we just don’t know.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die

Whodat,<P>Yes, I do wonder. I keep hoping that D99 would come back and that somehow he had found peace. I really don't know if I could have handled his situation, certainly I couldn't have had I not known about this place.<P>You may know that Facing Choices did post here awhile back. It sounded like she was muddling through, but OM was heavily in childs life. I am sure that caused/causes her H great pain, but somehow that whole thing never made sense. But perhaps that is the secret, it doesn't make sense in a rational way. But she was the one that got me started posting here.<P>You are right so many come through and then drop off, yet you wonder did they survive and make it work. When you think of Summertime and her situation and then look at what Facing Choices and others with children from the affair partner do to try and make the marriage work, it makes you marvel at the ability of people to forgive and love.<P>It is truely inspiring. Well, must go. It is good to talk with you.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

Yes, I remember the one's who stirred the pot, stood back and watched what happened! I wonder what happened to them too... and when you see such pain... well, it's just... sad <P>Remember Elixer, who was really SOOOOO intelligent (seriously!), but came on the first time with something along the lines of "How can you CREEPS do that?" She was GREAT!! Those were the days! <P>About this thread... call me dense, but I don't get it. I wish psychlyn2 and/or Emily (whether they be one in the same, conjoined twins, or two seperate folks) well... it's a bit of a drama, and I do enjoy drama! <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

<small>[ January 27, 2005, 04:23 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Emily, I too am in your same boat and after reading all these replies know that I am on the right track, if I can ever get through the withdrawls. See, I too was in love with two and just recently ended it with the OM but I want to call him and see him so bad I can't hardly stand it. I miss him terribly and think about him 24/7. He has said that he doesn't want contact with me right now until I decide what I want to do with my marriage. I have "strung" both men along for 5 months now not knowing what I really wanted. My H and I separated in Jan. and he is ready to come back home and be a family once again. I just don't feel connected to him and don't want to go back to being "roommates" like we were before. On the other hand, I don't want to call it quits and ruin my childrens' lives either, all for the sake of feelings I have for the OM. I truly know deep down that things would never work out between me and the OM but right now things are wonderful and he meets my needs that my H has not been able to meet for years. But as I said, I have made the first step in No contact and eventhough it is extremely hard, I know that it is best.<BR>Emily, so many of us have fallen into this cobweb life and for various reasons, but we also know it is wrong and we have to do something about it to make it "right" again. I made the choice to not throw it all away just yet and to give my marriage a last chance before so much is lost, including my kids happiness. My son has cried every night since I told my H to move out and it is tearing me apart to see him so sad. My problem is that I don't feel anything at all for my H and don't even want any type of affection from him, but I am hoping that with time and no contact with OM that things will change. We are both working on ourselves (reading books) and hoping to find the answers to what it takes to rebuilding our marriage. He does know that there was another man but to what extent the relationship went, I have not fully disclosed that info b/c I know it would hurt him deeply to know that I could be physical with someone else. In reading the other messages I hear everyone saying that it is best to be honest and open but I don't think I can go there. Not now anyway.<BR>Just keep reading and meditating to find your answers girl and they will eventually come to you. You really do have to get rid of the other influences before you can go Anywhere. <P>goincrazy (myself!)

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Emily:<BR><B>I suppose the reason I'm posting here is I've not the willingness to share this info with friends or family and don't wish to be rejected due to my situation.<BR>I've been married for 15 years. I'm relatively happy, of course, I realize I create my own happiness, however he is a good husband and a wonderful father to our children. I've just always needed more and have recently sought out companionship online. Have met an absolutely wonderful man and have fallen in love with him. To make a long story short, he too, has fallen hard for me as well and the part that truly hurts the most is the fact that I do not wish to leave my husband, but having more than an EA, at this point, could and probably would destroy many lives. And yet, I hurt so deeply when I have no contact with this man. I've always been honest with my H until now, and it seems I'm lying more and more to cover up my need to have this OM in my life. I suppose most of you will say I want my cake and eat it too. And you'd be right, to a certain extent. However, I also know, I love both these men and don't wish to end either relationship. I've weighed all options and at this point in my life, I can't uproot my children and yet, my heart follows the OM wherever he journeys. He brings comfort to me when I'm down, and walks and talks me through my many thoughts. Anyway, sorry to ramble...hope to hear from someone with a similar story. Other comments are welcome as well.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hi. I am not writing to give you advice or judge you, but only to say that I really do know how you feel. I have been with my husband for seven years and we have a son together and my daughter from a previous marriage. My H is a great guy, but he doesn't understand my needs at all. I fell in love with another man five months ago and I was going to leave my H, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it for all moral reasons. I love him, but I am so much in love with this OM and I just don't want to let go at all. I have never felt so sad and confused in my whole life as much as I do right now and I keep thinking it will get better, but when? I can only wish you the best. Here if you need to chat.