Well, this past weekend my H went on a trip to CAL to visit a friend...must be nice to vacation when you are going through a divorce and up and leave your family......Anyway, he called today and really wanted to talk to the kids so he did...my son started to cry and I think my H did too..he didn't say much after that other than he had to go. To let you all know for the past three weeks my conversations w/H have been very civil, I talk very calmly or like nothing is up and I think it bugs him. Any way I said bye....then 5 minutes later he calls again and said he needs to clear somthing up with me and I said ok what? He said he was sorry for ruining the last 10 years of my life and that he is sorry for everything he has done to me... All I said was it was a two way street, no need to apoligize, he said no it was all me.. and I am sorry....I also said that I would not change anything in the past 10 years even if I knew the outcome, and that things happen for a reasaon that we sometimes have no control over..at this point I am totally stunned... his trip to CAL was and eye opener, I don't know what his friend said to him but I think he is finally realizing what he has done and that he was wrong....and that he is loosing the most fun, loving, careing, beautiful person in his world. And also that it is too late.....

He stated to cry I think and had to go...he then called me back again to ask about a bill and if he could see the kids before Christmas I agreed, he needs them now....

I am doing good..lonley but good...I have problems being alone...I don't think I have ever been alone...

I feel my decision is right for me...and I don't think things will ever work out between us and I gave my fight with all my soal and now I can finally move on with my life......

Christine

I know those conversations all to well, it is his guilt kicking in and it feels good hearing it come from him doesn't it ?! There are different stages of the process anger, bitterness, pain,sadness,etc. you'll get them all,this is just the first one.... it gets worse before it gets better.

As for being lonely it is the hardest part and you feel like nothing is ever gonna fill that void, but it gets better with time.

What I found out.... was that it wasn't him I missed it was the dream, I moarned the loss of my dream to have a normal happy family.

Stay positive and take care of you.
http://www.angelrays.com/Cards/star/you/chose.html

ok,

you just made me cry................................................... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Thank you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />