One of the ow my WS is seeing.Is freaking out calling his family and my ws telling him she's pregnant.The girl is 21,my ws is 24.
He called all upset saying he broke it off with her and then she said she was pregnant.
Is this normal!?

Mary
I haven't seen you for a while, maybe you're sticking to one particular thread or something, which is what I do a lot of. I don't have a lot of experience in this area but I know the boards will not be very active this weekend, so I wanted to give a basic quick response.

First of all, don't jump to conclusions. She might not be pregnant (happens all the time) or if she is, it might not be his (also happens all the time).

Last I heard you were working on a form of Plan B. Is that where you're at now? Did he ever go to any counseling?

You might want to post this on the "Pregnancy/Child" board to possibly get more experienced responses.

<small>[ December 21, 2002, 09:50 AM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Hi Avondale,

Yes I'm in plan B,he called my cell left me a message saying he broke it off.With both OW,and now there calling crying...he left his passcode to his phone and told me to check it.
I did and the girl was panicked,very emotional..saying she didn't want to have a baby she was too young.But she knows there ment to be and she will not leave him alone.Then she said I started my period but i don't know it's been a wierd cycle.I've never been with anyone before she claimed and I'll just sit up all night praying you call me back.I will not take no for an answer I love you,i know you love me too this is not just lust!
I have caught him in so many lies,and no he has not gone to counsling like he claimed he would.
But he says he's changing his cell phone number to get rid of her.
Now she's crazy in his eyes,and he says he wants to work on us but no sign of that.Other then is one OW freaking out and him upset coming to me about it!

Hi Mary, if you are in Plan B you need to
distance yourself from this mess that he created.
The OW may be pregnant or it may be a desperate move to keep STBXH, I know it is difficult but try to stay off this emotional rollercoaster.
Good luck, sorry you are going through all of this.
Dave

Hi Mary,

I know how frantic you may feel with this unsubstantiated news, Hon. I'm sorry you have to go thru this.

Here's what I would suggest for you. And as you can see, I have been thru the OC scenario, twice. Thats not to say the OW in your case is indeed pregnant.

As i see you're in Plan B, you need to remind your H of your Plan B letter and it's overall statement - "NO CONTACT until the affair(s) are ended and willingness to rebuild a committed marriage with you". Then, do everything in your power to block any contact from OW, whether it be direct or indirect (via H). It's very destructive to you, and your emotional health.

For right now, your H owns the suspected pregnancy claim from OW. He needs to deal with it and figure it out. It's ALL his DEAL. He needs to learn from it and take responsibility of it.

"IF", and that's a big friggin "IF", the ow IS pregnant, your H will have a world of chaos to manage. If he's willing to learn, either way, this may show him that there are dier consequnces for adultery and betrayal.

Please please please take care of you, Honey. I know how you feel. I know it feels like you have lost control of your life, but you really haven't.

If you can try really hard to step back and see that you still have complete control of what you do and how you react. This is so important, and yet, I know so hard. But looking back I wish I would have been less emotional and more introspective during some of the really bad times.

Your H has a world of crap to deal with, but it's of his doing and so he owns it.

I'm terribly sorry for what you have had to go thru. I truly am. Please keep leaning on us, Mary.

Love and prayers for you,
Jo

<small>[ December 21, 2002, 05:48 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>