Hello, my wonderful friends at MB.

I have to leave the boards for a while. I find that when I come here now, I feel the pain of you all, and I get 'triggered' and then I am depressed when I leave. Also, I just can't seem to offer any help to someone in need at this time. I just cannot muster the words.

I know I am having a bad kind of phase in my own life which is probably contributing to this. And so I am already somewhat down before I come here.

I guess that while I have made many friends here, and have grown so much in my time here, I need a break from always thinking about marriages gone wrong. I need to focus on positives, and that CAN happen here, but I see the pain of so many people, and then I am remembering what it was like for me....sigh....and I go away having not offered anything to anyone.

I hope to be back, because if not for MB I would have been a total mess, but for now it is not what I need <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . Not that I actually KNOW what I need, lol! But I hope no-one takes offence at my bowing out for a time, and please remember that I am thinking of you all. Friends I have made here will still recieve the silly emails I sometimes send, I am NOT abandoning everyone. Just the boards for a while. I will check this thread for a couple of days, and then I will disappear. Sorry I am not more upbeat.

I hope you can all understand.

Love and light,

Jacky

Jacky,

While I'm sorry to see you leave, I really understand what you mean. I too have backed way off on responding to anyone on these boards. In fact, there have been times I've wanted to respond to you or Bill or some of the other dear friends I've met here but I just didn't even want to log in.

I suppose 6 months after my divorce now, I just don't have anything supportive to say to those hurting and stuggling. For a while, I could say I understand and yada, yada, yada, but as you know this journey we took was a very personal one and quite frankly I don't know how to help. I'm moving on and like you, I know I would not be where I am today without MB but I also find the boards these days to be depressing and a trigger. I need to separate myself from that pain so I can heal. And quite frankly some of the situations on this board right now are not ones that I'd ever give people the advise to deliberatly stay in. It is a MB site and my advice lately has not been about building....

You and I went through our separations at the same time and I was easy to understand and support where we were at that time. Having put that past behind me now, not that it hasn't changed me, I can't feel the same things others are feeling on the boards now. I never deal with physical abuse, drugs, drinking, major money issues, etc. The way I handled my D would most likely not work for 90% of the folks out there.

Anyway, I'll miss you. E-mail me from time to time. I'll try to do better about responding.

Good luck with your puppy and your kids. You are a great mom and a good friend.

Lynn

I too feel the same about reading the new posters. I've found that I'm in a stage now where I need to have only positive influences around, and I avoid all negative influences.
I hope you find your positives.
Have a Great Year.

Jacky,

I'm not too eloquent and don't know quite how to phrase this but you've given a lot to the people here. You really have.

I have a lot of respect for you.

May the wind be at your back and guide you to happiness <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Thanks Jacky for sharing. Be assured that the strength you showed in your posts helped people who are still struggling to get through the D, like myself.

I've always hoped to see "down under", and that is especially reinforced by wonderful folks like you. Take time, heal and learn to fly again. You will. I look forward to hearing from you again some time in the future, when both of us just come back here to check in occasionally!!

Till then, many blessings to you and the kids! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Jacky,
I know I'm not here often. I still love your emails. It makes me smile. Don't stop believing. I truely understand. Just want you to know I am proud of you. You have come such a long way. For over a year we have exchanged stories and pleasures(very few on my part) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Be merry. Remember life is what you make of it. You doing a great job.
Listen to your subconcious it will never lie too you.

Thinking of you always.
Merry part dear
LL
Janet

The princess is sighing over this news. She does miss her royal detective and invites the detective to the kingdom at any time.

(((((Jacky)))))

You know I love you. You have my email address.

To my fellow Aussie! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
Sorry you are so down. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I understand what you are doing though and hope things get better for you. Thanks for your input to my situation. I'll look forward to your return when you are ready. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
sp

<small>[ April 12, 2003, 08:56 PM: Message edited by: SaURoNaNdGaLAdRIeL ]</small>

<small>[ August 09, 2004, 09:05 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

Thanks everyone,

I hope and pray you all keep well and get through everything with a minimum of fuss and heartache. And for those who want their marriages intact, I hope that it comes about for you.

I am doing okay...just problems with my son and his anger issues, but he is in counselling with a good man at the moment, so I think that will help.

I will be lurking from time to time, and I will sometimes write when I think I have anything to offer.

Love and light,

Jacky