I don't know if I really have a question, but I'd welcome any replies that will help me figure out what the he!! I was thinking!

Last weekend I attended the wedding of my ex-husbands niece. I went with my kids and my wonderful boyfriend of 2+ years. I knew it would be awkward, but I love this girl dearly, as well as the other nieces and nephews and I really miss seeing them. So, I decided to go to the wedding and my b/f was sweet enough to accompany me, but b/f and I decided to skip the reception - that would have really been awkward. The kids stayed with their dad for the reception.

Well, we walk into the club-house where people were gathered before the wedding and it was pretty much just ex's family...and his fiancee - I should add that this is a woman I have known for over 20 years...he left me for her...she was a co-worker. I hugged neices, nephews, ex-inlaws, introduced b/f to some. Said hello to my oldest son that lives with dad and said hello to ex and ow. Keep in mind here that I do not have a good relationship with ex...we barely speak and I have seen him in person only once or twice in the last few years. B/f and I stood to the side a bit and ex walks up to me, obviously uncomfortable, and starts asking me questions about our youngest son's sprained arm. The questions were sort of dumb, nothing ex didn't already know, but he was trying to make an uncomfortable situation a bit easier as all eyes were on us at that time. Ex and b/f shook hands and everything was ok...until...

I reached up and straightened ex's collar and asked him for a drink of his beer. He gave me his beer, I took a sip and explained that I was nervous and could (hah)use a few more of those, he said he was too.

I handed him back his beer and looked up and every set of eyes in the place was on me. Including my b/f's and apparently ex's fiancee's.

It's funny, I didn't even remember any of this until an hour later and b/f and I were back in the car. He brought up the beer thing, and a few minutes later I remembered the collar thing.

It was like a total out-of-body experience. I hurt my b/f and I don't know what my ex-family, not to mention ex-husband think about what I did.

I could really just die of embarrasment right now.

I am totally over my ex husband, it was just like I went somewhere really weird for a minute there. My daughter even said the next day that she and her dad talked about it and that ex thought it was funny and cute that I did that.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH...no more ex-family functions for me.

thanks for listening.

allison

LOL .... sorry for laughing, Alligator ... just when I read this it sounded like something I would do. We're too much alike.

Only difference would be for me is Lana (OW) would probably jump on me and beat the livin hell outta me. You know, with her being all insecure and stuff (LMAO).

I guess your best bet is to avoid all contact with ex-H. Old habits die hard. Remember, you were with him longer than you were with your FOO. This stuff (familiar interaction) just comes natural.

Whatever you need to do to help your BF recover and feel safe is what's on the agenda now. Considering he too has experienced similar betrayal in his previous marriage, this incident is more than likely a big trigger for him. He'll need extra nurturing and care.

Other than that, I'd say you were very courageous and mature to go to the shindig, and then be so polite to OW <gag>. It says volumes about you and your willingness to do your part for your children's healing.

Much love to you, Allison Jo.

p.s. Seen Don Henley in his Vipor lately? Pls give him my best. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ March 10, 2003, 02:33 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>

Allison - Gee don't be so hard on yourself - just explain to your boyfriend that you didn't even know that you did it - it was just a habit - I mean you were married and you did have children with him - I don't think what you did was so god awful... as long as your boyfriend knows that you are over your ex - I really wouldn't worry - Plus I just think because you were thrown back into his family and you were so nervous that you just reacted because he could understand you know - so just think of it as funny...

p.p.s. I have been house cleaning/organizing and sent 7 rolls of film to be developed. These were pictures taken during affair and through separation. You know, the time-warp and black-out period no BS ever remembers what they did.

So, ummm ...... GUESS WHAT I FOUND???

Yep ... our pictures of us in AZ at your house. You, me, Lora and Beth (Burned Spouse). I'll scan and publish here as soon as I can.

Love you, Hon.

Jo