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#746142 03/14/03 04:11 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 137
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Wife filed r/o and had me thrown out of house 6 weeks ago, can only see my kids about once a week and every other weekend.
Lost 25 lbs since this started ( wife was wanting me to lose weight, she got her wish, now I weigh about the same as I did when I met her 17 years ago ).
Have finally been able to talk to wife on phone
( children's issues ).
She also filed for divorce about same time as she filed the r/o.
She was saying I am abusive and have the potential to harm her ( hence the r/o ).
Of course I find out she has been seeing OM, unk for how long though, she says just started, although I have heard and suspected otherwise.
She has OM around my kids, going to movies, to dinner, playing with them ( this bothers me very much ).
I still love my wife very much, and have been working hard to change anything that bothers her about me, I am trying hard to save my family and my marriage. I don't think she realizes how hard it is to be without my kids, ( she has them most of the time ) All thru are marriage I had them most of time due to me staying at home with them.
This week I met a beautiful woman at the gym, and might be seeing her this weekend, but I also have my kids this weekend, after giving my wife such a hard time about her new guy being around my kids so much will it be wrong to have this lady around my kids this weekend ( its nothing serious ).
I guess I just need someone to talk to.

Thanks/Name has been changed

#746143 03/14/03 07:08 AM
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I wanted to also add, that I would do anything to have a chance to make our marriage work.
But with her filing a restraining order against me it doesn't seem I have a chance.
Seems like she filed r/o so as to keep me away so while the divorce proceeds, as not to have a chance to work it out.
Also my wife tells me all things of mine (pretty much any reminder of me has been boxed up and put in garage) her father brought me garbage bags full of my belongings, (mostly reminders of me, or just anything that reminded her of me).
Like she is just clearing me out of her life, even though we have a family together and I can't bear the thought of losing my girls.
I have been taking my girls to church and going also myself, I have had great support at church, and just wish my wife and I had found this church together instead of just me finding it.
PLEASE GIVE ME ADVISE, how do you show someone how much you care when they don't want you around to show them?

#746144 03/14/03 09:47 AM
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Have you been to see a lawyer yet? If you haven't, you need to.

When you do, there are several things you can ask for. One of them is what my lawyer called a "no nookie" clause. Basically, it forbids any non-related adults around the children after 8:00 pm. Another thing you might want to check into is having a geographic restriction put into the custody section. This would prevent her from packing up and moving the kids away from you.

As far as the relationship with your W...

To be honest, there really isn't enough information here to give you any intelligent advice. The only valid advice I can give you right now is to be calm, cool and collected at all times when dealing with her. Any anger or accusations right now are only going to solidify her resolve to see this through...

Sean


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