Hi everyone - actually I posted back in last July, but lost my name/password. You gave wonderful answers to my mother-in-law/mummy's boy questions, and my husband's attitude towards me - well, the MIL moved away, later had a stroke and died. So, I guess I'm being blamed for that now too. We've been to two counsellors, and he refuses to go anymore as he thinks they're 'crap'. Now he's moved out into his mums old place (next door).
Any ideas on this, guys? I've been on this track for 3 yrs now - stuck in Northern Alberta looking for a job (gave up 22 yr career and home in San Diego for husband)....totally in limbo - any lifelines or ideas on this situation??
Thanks!

Julie Ann, From your post, I gather that your H was overly involved with his mother, but she died, and now he's moved into her house after you moved thousands of miles away at his request. But I'm not sure what kind of advice you're looking for. Could you tell us more?

Tough one......well, met H on internet, travelled up and down for 2 yrs then I moved to Canada on a promise of a business partnership and marriage. Business failed and so did marriage. MIL living on property in trailer. H told me MIL was independent - ya right! No-one else in family wanted her around. Constant interference right from start - raised concerns to H before moving - his ex (10yr rel) left him after his M moved to town.
First yr was tough! New country, new relationship, no job, no friends etc...and all he wanted to do was sit and drink tea with 'mum' every night. Whenever she called he was there - even when she cut her finger, it was 'panic stations'. Felt more and more second best - he wouldn't talk about issues, just go ballistic and call me a '*****' whenever I approached topics - saw two counsellors who confirmed all my fears - he's not going to change. I WISH i'd listened to friends, coworkers etc!!!
Feeling very lonely and isolated - waiting for a job in the city (which will not come up until fall) - no vehicle. Feel very much like a victim, but I hate to have this kind of mentality - I'm too smart for this BS yet I've let him walk all over me emotionally. He is not capable of addressing/solving any problem/issue - even related to business, which is why it failed.
Spoke with lawyers - said I should sit tight and wait - for what?...the sky to fall? It already did.
It's your site that has helped me get through the past 9 months of living hell. Thank you and bless you all.
It's very dark and cold in this place.

Read my posts.
Accept you made a mistake and move on.
Emotional Intelligence is necessary in a M, chances are your H lacked this.

Hi, thanks - I certainly will read your posts.
Trouble is I want to move on - desperately - but I'm literally up the creek without a paddle - gave up a career that is darned hard to get back into (very specialized), but I'm trying. Nowhere to live except here - don't have job so can't get flat etc - when he left he told me to leave him alone. I have, totally. It's him who's been calling or coming over every day, on some pretext.
He's only living 20 yds away! It's a matter of holding on until something comes up - just feeling so alone at the moment - all my friends were his friends, so they're out. I'm looking for a local ACA group (H is one) but the popn here is <5000; but I intend to if/when I move to the city.
Just have to hold on.

Quote"
It's a matter of holding on until something comes up - just feeling so alone at the moment - all my friends were his friends, so they're out.

Julie Ann

I agree, he is loser, I wonder what it was that brought you there, blind love???

Try a local church, people there always willing to help. Have you considered a roommate? Go to www.divorcebusting.com, lots of people in your same sith. My nickname is POEPAD

Poe