XW moves in with the OM. She has 3 kids from previous marriage and does not have custody, but sees them regularaly. The kids are 12, 13 & 15.

I was talking the 1st husband and his wife and the odest child when I asked about the guy the oldest daught was hanging out with in the neighborhood. I didn't think anything of it, but apparently that is a no-no for her. She's not supposed to be dating or hanging out with guys until she's 16.

She said it was another kid who is a friend of the younger brothers and got the 12 year old to cover for her. I was 90% sure they were lying but I wasn't going to press the issue. Well I saw the boy again and she lied right to her dad and step-moms face and so did the 12 year old.

Apparently their dad has been having problems with the kids for the first time because their mom and the OM let them do whatever they want. It was pretty upsetting to see really. Their dad and step-mom have done such a good job under very difficult circumstances and now my XW is unwraveling that trying to win the kids over.

I really feel for the kids and their dad. Years of work possibly shot to hell because of selfishness and the typical it is all about me attitude of WS's!

Their isn't anything I can or should do. I really felt awkward getting caught in the middle of this. I didn't really see anything wrong and didn't know it would be an issue. The flat out lying and covering shocked me though.

I'm really sick of the me attitude so many people and counselors profess. Once you get married and/or have kids it is no longer all about you. You have a committment to those other people and their needs have to be high on your priority list. Once you start thinking only of yourself then everyone gets hurt inlcuding most of all yourself. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face!

It is almos a year now since my XW moved out and I have to say life is much better for me. I feel guilty for that sometimes. I've paid a very heavy price, but I think others are paying a bigger price. I'd have to say my XW, OM and my XW kids have come out the worst.

People can be so stupid.

I have (maybe) a similar problem with brazen lying by my kids. For example, I will hear the smacking sound of my oldest hitting his younger brother or sister. I'm in same the room, but perhaps my back was turned. My head snaps around, and the kid will then insist that he didn't hit anyone, his brother and sister are always lying, etc. Even as the younger one is crying.

In a paranoid way, I wonder if he thinks he can get away with this, because his Mom gets away with it. Or it may be that other kids do this too.

But, if it's Mom's influence contributing, there is not much that can be done about it. This is one of the hardest things.