since the birthe of our last child 7 years ago I havn't been able to enjoy sex at all! I am 36 and have been married for 14 years in June. Two years ago my husband had an affair for 3 months with a girl half his age, he was 39 and she was 20 at the time, but even prior to this I had this problem that whenever we had sex I never got wet at all and it was and still is so uncomfortable and embarrasing for me.<P>I have been on a contracteptive pill for the past seven years and it seems to have happened around then. The affair really tore me to bits emotionally and I know you will probably think it is to blame but this has been ongoing for the past seven years, I could go off the pill and risk getting pregnant but I do not want this.<P>Has anyone had the same experience and how did they rectify it?<P>Thanks for listening <P>Gabe

You must go and see a doctor. Hormonal changes associated with the pill could be responsible for this. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dimples:<BR><B>since the birthe of our last child 7 years ago I havn't been able to enjoy sex at all! I am 36 and have been married for 14 years in June. Two years ago my husband had an affair for 3 months with a girl half his age, he was 39 and she was 20 at the time, but even prior to this I had this problem that whenever we had sex I never got wet at all and it was and still is so uncomfortable and embarrasing for me.<P>I have been on a contracteptive pill for the past seven years and it seems to have happened around then. The affair really tore me to bits emotionally and I know you will probably think it is to blame but this has been ongoing for the past seven years, I could go off the pill and risk getting pregnant but I do not want this.<P>Has anyone had the same experience and how did they rectify it?<P>Thanks for listening <P>Gabe</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Dimples;<P>I agree with Katie S....please see your doctor very soon. I too had a low sex drive after the birth of my last child. After getting the problem corrected I have had a wonderful sex life and cannot believe that I was allowing THIS part of my life to be missing for such a long time. I also feel your problem may be a very simple hormonal imbalance. <P>In the mean time you might consider purchasing the book "The Kama Sutra" by Anne Hooper. It is a very tasteful guide to understanding sex. We bought it after 18 years of marriage and learned quite a lot. Also buy a case of KY jelly. Lastly, don't be afraid to try new things. It is okay if you don't come at first....just get back in the game.<P>Now....regarding your husband's infedility. I know it must raise bile in your throat to think about it....but, if you decide you want to get past it Marriage builders can help you find the ways.<P>Dimples, I have only recently come to realize what sex means to a man in a relationship. My husband has NO need for conversation, no need for affection or any of the other emotional needs on Dr. Harley's list. His "Gold Standard" is SEX. If he wants to talk...."let's have sex", if he wants affection it is in the form of sex, if he wants domestic support is is only "clear off the bed so we can have SEXXXXXXXX"! Do you get my point? He needs sex above all else. It is truly his measure of Happiness. I have decided I will no longer take his tunnel vision approach personally as I finally understand that during during sex he feels closer to me than at any other time. I have decided to swim with the current for a change and am also enjoying sex....often. I find that my enjoyment has allowed me more time for my needs, conversation and affection. I wish the same for every woman.<P>Buena Suerte [good luck]<BR>C&I<BR>