gee, for all of us with narcisistic exes, you might get a giggle out of the lengths they are self absorbed. I really need to step away from this and look at it from the outside, can't figure out sometimes if I want to cry or laugh!

I got a call from exes boss, he said he had told ex that he better begin complying with the court orders and not put the company at risk again. That if he does not comply, he is liable to lose his job. I think maybe that was clear even to an NPD????? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Anyway, his boss says that as far as the wage assignment for child support, that ex said he was a month ahead and he was still writing his own checks. I was totally flabergasted at this point, and said, "No, ex is late with child support; one payment is due on the first, and he paid on the 8th, the second payment is due on the 15th, and he still hasn't paid it." Anyway, I thanked his boss and called Child Support Services and told them what was going on.

People are just truly AMAZED at this guy... here is a court order to have a company wage assign child support payments, and ex (general manager of company and self proclaimed god in his own mind <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> )decides he will just continue to pay when and where he chooses.

The man is just so sure that whatever he decides to do is what should be happening, and no one will make him do anything differently.

On another note... the jerk across the street did lose his job over a month ago, and last week he left town for a few days on a plane. Can you all hope he got a job somewhere else and is going to MOVE? The whole block will have a party!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

So, life keeps on going around and the kids and I may actually start repairing all the damage ex had done. There is beginning to be a brighter light at the end of the tunnel, so that must mean we are getting closer!

Lori

<small>[ May 28, 2003, 06:00 PM: Message edited by: bangarra ]</small>

You know, Lori, I used to think the light at the end of the tunnel was proof I was getting near to the end of the tunnel--that I might actually be getting OUT of the tunnel. Now I know better. That's just the train's headlight. Better get off the tracks, girl.

Heehee <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Your long-time pal,

CJ

Hon, those lights are a warning. Be careful and be alert. The wayward spouse is a controller and once again you are seeing the side effects of a wayward spouse.

Thanks you two!? I actually figured if Dippy's boss told him off, ex might actually do what he was supposed to?

You'd think they'd give up and just do what they needed to after 3 years. Yes, I agree, I will never let my guard down around him ever again, but I was thinking it might finally be sinking in that he can't keep playing the games he does or there will finally be some consequences.

Oh well... I am hoping to hear from my attorney about signing the MSA, then divorce will be final. Then will let Child Support Services and the DAs deal with ex. Someday... I will be able to relax once again.

On a good note, my kids are healing, I'm doing better in a very sporadic way... two steps forward, three back, then a giant leap ahead, then stop and catch my breath.

Lori

Lori,

I hope you realize I was just kidding...goofing...playing around...teasing...laughing...being silly. Of course you are getting to the end of the tunnel. Of course there really is light, and hope, and peace, and some degree of happiness at the end of the tunnel. But throughout this whole process haven't you ever felt like JUST when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, that's when it's the train's headlight? heehee! I sure have!!

Since my exH is NPD (or BPD with high narcissistic tendencies) I totally know what you mean. I'm with you--you'd think after 3 years that they would just do what they're supposed to do, but they don't! The truly weird part is that it doesn't really seem to even CROSS THEIR MIND to do what they're supposed to--I mean, it's as if they decide what is going to happen and all the other courts, police and people don't even really exist in their consciousness. They decided to do X and they will do it...period!! Furthermore, when courts, police or "people" tell them they CAN'T do what they have determined to do, A) They are ALL SURPRISED and act like there's been a horrible injustice and B) They blame their own situation on the court, police or "people" and act like THE VICTIM!!!

AARRGGHH!!! How is it even possible that they don't see how their own actions directly impact what is happening?? You'd think that hearing a judge say, "Mr. Bangerra you must pay $xxx in child support every month, and it must be garnished from your work wages" that he would say to himself, "Okay--I have to listen to the court or I'll get in trouble." I think, instead, what they hear is, "Mr. Bangerra...YOU ARE WRONG. You are an evil, angry, vicious man and this court condemns you and your behavior. As punishment, you cannot keep everything that is Rightfully Yours, and you must pay it to those people who lived in your house and spent your money all those years."

Don't you think?

CJ

{{{CJ}}}

Yes, I knew you were kidding. The whole post was sort of tongue in cheek, as it really is kind of sick and sad at the extent they go for their own ends. Sometimes one has to step back and just shake it all off. Speaking of, thought that would make a great title for a book, Shaking Off the Dust.

It is surprising what we do to find a smidgeon of humor in things just to keep moving ahead. Think that is just one of the coping mechanisms that people have.

Lori <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />