You know what drives me crazy - it's the roller-coaster of emotions!!!! I can be doing great all day long, then something happens - someone says something - I see a picture - or even sometimes just a smell.... and I feel the sadness come back in full force <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Or there are the days where you feel terrible all day long, then you find some happy thoughts, some good feelings... But they never seem to last long...

It is this up and down that is so hard to deal with sometimes... Don't get me wrong, they aren't severe mood swings, just enough to make me sad.

And of course you sit there wondering if the other person has times like these...

I am going through the same. My husband says "he doesn't need me" anymore, I feel terrible. I just wanted the happy normal family life. One minute we could be just great, the next minute he changes his mind. It's so tough, but prayer and my children keep me going.

I agree that prayer works wonders... But sometimes the emotions just get the better of me.

She on the other hand has two lovely little girls to keep her occupied. So while I get home from work and don't have too much, but my thoughts and feelings(live alone with my dog), she has a 3-ring circus to keep her busy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

And I find myself missing being part of that circus...

oh brother...

I'm going through the same thing, ST. Luckily we didn't have kids, but still, knowing we are just on two different trains heading in opposite directions sucks.

But allow yourself to feel the hurt. Revel in it, because life is more than just feeling good. You've gotta get some good, deep, lows in there too or else...well...there won't be any balance.

And don't forget to treat yourself nicely. Be your own best friend right now. Allow yourself that third bottle of beer or to linger on the E channel's Wild On a little longer.

the world is yours!

SoTired2000

I feel just as you do. I got home tonight to find my son out and my running partner cancel. I played with my dog but how long does that last and I look at the clock and it's at least 5 hours before bed.

The loneliness is tough to deal with and most days I'm okay but when I let it get to me boy it's hard.

I wish praying helped me but it doesn't. I'm glad it works for you and I will make sure your in mine. I wish I had some thing that worked for all of us but I think time is the only thing.

I will send you a hug ((((((st))))))))))

lj

Well, I hate to disagree with EE, but, I believe it's not very healthy to "wallow" in your pain.

Actually, according to scripture, we're supposed to NOT pay any attention to the pain! We're supposed to die to self. It's our "flesh" that's hurting. If we are able to look past that, and keep our eyes on Jesus, then we can see that God has blessed us even during one of the darkest times most of us have ever experienced. Our spirit-man is being developed, strengthened and healed more and more, IF we keep looking to Him during our terrible trials.

SoT, don't allow yourself to stay in this pain. If you do, (and believe me, brother, I have done it!, you are opening the door for satan to have a victory. He LOVES to try to pull us away from God. He LOVES to try to convince us that God doesn't care anything about us, that our M's don't matter to God, that He'll send us another mate, a substitute for what we lost, that we should just "give up" and give in, he tries to convince us that NO ONE is "worth" all this pain.

Remember, Jesus didn't believe that about us when he willingly went to the cross for us.

Satan's only mission in this world is to kill, steal and destroy. He has destroyed our previous M's. He has stolen the hearts of our spouses. He wants to KILL any positive thoughts we might have about our future, our spouse, reconciliation, etc.

How to fight this? Praise God! Read scripture, and QUOTE IT, claim it out loud. PRAISING GOD releases His angels to let loose and work for us. Read the accounts of God's saints, such as Paul and Silas, imprisoned. In a pit, chained, in a jail cell with HIP-DEEP waste all around! Yet they sang praises to God at Midnight. And an angel of God opened the jail door, dropped the chains off like they were invisible, and RELEASED them out of the jail, right past the sleeping guards!

Yup. Praising God in the midst of your troubles, will bring relief.

Try it!

And PUSH!!!!

PPray
UUntil
SSomething
HHappens

lupolady,

I know what you are saying and I agree... See this is the 2nd time I'm in this situation in 4 years. First my divorce, in which I prayed and prayed. It definitely helped and it brought me much closer to God and I have grown so much because of it. The only sad part is that it didn't save the marriage. My X was just not interested and turned from God.

Now it is with a 1.5 year new relationship in which she has asked for "a break". I haven't heard from her in about a month, even though I've reached out a few times.

I wish I could be more like Job and welcome all these challenges, but sometimes they just seem too much to deal with... I'm a romantic at heart, so when things like this happen, it tends to rock my world (always has), whereas many other people can just "tune it out" and keep themselves busy...

The worst part is that while I know I'm a young guy and I would have no trouble finding someone new, she has most if not all the qualities I've been looking for in a woman, my whole life... We "clicked" from the first time we met...

I have given it all up to God, but I find myself at times wanting to "take it back and fix it myself"... I know this is wrong. So when you pray, please pray for strength for me - strength to truly leave this in His hands...

I feel that I need to let God work in her life and in my life right now... I just need to keep reminding myself of that...

Thanks!
God Bless,
Mike

I know what you mean ST. I have triggers everyday. Sometimes they make me extremely depressed and sometimes they're small triggers that just get me down.

Just like I stated in my thread, these dreams I've been having are making me miserable. I wake up feeling depressed.

I guess one day the rollercoaster will start to slow down and eventually STOP! When? Who knows.

STBXWife,

Well here I can help! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Being a veteran of the roller-coaster, I can tell you that after my divorce, over time (a lot of time), God slowed down the roller-coaster and allowed me to get off for a while...

Fortunately (or unfortunately), I walked around for a bit, and decided to get right back on the darn thing! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

But time does bring healing... This I can promise you...

Mike

SoT,

I know what you're saying. It seems like "you can't catch a break!" That's why this might be a time to say, "OK, God, you;ve taken me to the back side of the mountain. WHAT do you have for me here?"

Die to self, ST. That's the key. KNOW that God only wants the best for you! He won't withhold the BEST of His plan for you! READ and RE-READ your tagline!!! It's so true. I Love Thinking aobut it. It's ALL about His timing.

Another thing I've always heard, satan always sends his best, before God sends HIS best.

Could it be that current G/F is NOT God's "best" for you? Or could it be God is trying to strengthen both of you, change part of your relationship, then bring it back together again? Could it be God wants you to be a stronger man of God before He allows you to M again? Or could God want you to "stand" for reconciliation w/your xW?

Don't know ya, don't know if I'm way off base here. But just something for ya to think about. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Remember the old saying, "Let Go and Let GOD."? Believe me, He will withhold NO GOOD THING from His children!!!

God Bless,

lupolady,

I have to be one of God's "trouble children" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I just know it! Just as you wrote this message I was finishing up listening to a sermon about how to survive seemingly insurmountable burdens... What the speaker was saying is that so many of us don't have a problem giving "our problems" to God and laying them at the cross... BUT, we end up sneaking back up there and taking back the problems from Him!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Then we get overwhelmed again and go through the same process... Then we wonder why He hasn't taken this burden from us?

Reminds me of a quote from Mark Twain (I think) "Quitting smoking is the easiest thing to do - I've done it a 1,000 times!"

Your post makes this the 4th time I've heard to "not just let it go but leave it go as well", today! I can just imagine God in Heaven... "Mike if you don't listen to me and my messengers this time, I'm gonna clobber you!" haha... I can be a little "how do you say?" thick-headed at times...

Hey, I'm feelin' better about it all... Now if I can just "leave it" alone with Him!

And you are right, it always is darkest before the dawn...

Thanks!
Mike

Heh, heh. I think I can relate, Mike. Except I'm not on a roller-coaster so much as I'm on one of those octopoidal rides with the round cars that spin around individually at the end of long arms which all revolve around a central hub and simultaneously rock up and down. Uh...know what I mean?

At the beginning of this year, I thought I had achieved some measure of peace and acceptance. It had been two-and-a-half years since my wife left me, and her divorce had at long last been finalized, allowing me to move out of the limbo I'd been stuck in. I was tentatively mapping out the rest of my life, expecting to spend it alone, but still holding out hope for reconciliation. The pain had never gone away, and the emotional triggers were still going off all around me, but on the whole I was actually pretty happy.

And then God started knocking me all over the place.

One of the monkey wrenches He used was a remarkable young woman who had already made a strong impression on me when I briefly met her a year-and-a-half earlier (but whom I had not spoken to since). Through a variety of circumstances over a period of three months this year, I ended up seeing her every few days, and I got to know her well enough that it became impossible for me not to notice that she had every quality I would have been looking for in a partner if I had been looking, along with several other highly attractive qualities that it would not have occurred to me to look for. For the first time, reconciliation with my ex-wife began to look unpalatable.

Sounds good, huh? Well...

Now I don't know what to think or what to do or how to plan.

Objectively speaking, my interest in this woman (whom I'll call "the Rose") seems absurd. She is in her mid-twenties and is thus much younger than I am - possibly as much as fifteen years younger. Furthermore, she is not interested in dating right now - not me or anyone else - and wisely so. She is smart enough to recognize that until she develops a better understanding of who she is and what she wants, a "relationship" is more likely to harm her than help her, and in the meantime she has a very active professional life as well as a very active social life. She does know that she wants to get married and to have kids some day, but she's got plenty of time...

However, this places me in an interesting - and frustrating - position, made all the more difficult by the fact that I cannot run away from the Rose without also running away from everything else that God appears to be doing with my life. Like it or not, I seem to be stuck in the Rose's orbit, where virtually every interaction leaves me more impressed and attracted than before.

Mind you, I have no confidence that anything will develop between myself and the Rose. But I find it awfully difficult to believe that God would have put me in this situation solely to torment me with impossible possibilities. So I am inclined to think that at the very least His message to me is that I should remain open to another relationship - and that probably somewhere along the line something is going to happen with someone. I am trying not to get fixated on this one relationship (im)possibility, but I cannot help noting that not only is the Rose the only woman other than my ex-wife whom I have ever thought of as even a remote prospect as a life partner, but she also keeps raising the bar ever higher for any other woman who might otherwise capture my interest.

So, however inappropriate or premature it is for me to be thinking along these lines, I now find myself thinking about how my tentative career plans would line up with the possibility of starting a family in my forties. Planning for my "retirement" years takes on a whole different complexion when college expenses get inserted into the picture, and my contemplation of a career change which would significantly reduce my income suddenly looks a great deal more problematic than before.

And yet, when I think about whether I should let these factors actually affect my planning, I cannot help reflecting on the reality that the Rose has done nothing to encourage my interest in her, and that I am by no means the only guy to have developed such an interest. She is the kind of person that attracts admirers like the proverbial moths to a flame.

Round and round and round I go. It is absurd to hope. And yet, God is something of an aficionado of the absurd.

If (and I know it's a big "if") God wants to bring me and the Rose together in His good time, then I am encouraged to know that the Rose is a fervent seeker of His will. So if it's what God wants, then I believe it will happen; this is a very different situation from the one involving my ex-wife's desertion, where my ex-wife was running away from everything, including God. That summer three years ago was the most emotionally difficult time of my life, as I tried to understand and cope with my wife's sudden disappearance. This summer is now shaping up to be my second-most emotionally difficult summer - but this time I believe everything is going exactly as it should, and God's involvement is ever apparent, if seldom understandable.

A lot of my difficulty does indeed lie in the struggle to leave things in God's hands. I know that God wants what's best for me, and that He also wants what's best for the Rose. Given a choice between what God wants and what I hope for, I trust God's judgement over my own. But even so, I cannot help but hope, and I feel a little guilty for doing that.

And even though I have considerable confidence that God will show me what I need to do when (and probably only when) I need to do it, I cannot seem to entirely rid myself of my anxiety. The light God provides to my path has never gone out, but it has seldom illuminated more than one step ahead. And now is a particularly disconcerting time for me, since even though I believe that I'm on the right path, that path keeps shifting direction, and I seem to be traveling at a greater speed than that to which I am accustomed.

But I think what I find most frustrating is that for so many years, the primary way in which I was called upon to demonstrate love was to stand back and give space. Why oh why am I now called upon to do it yet again? When will I be able to give something of my self again?

GnomeDePlume,

Well first off, I remember many of our discussions when I first arrived here 3-4 years ago! This site in many ways has been a God send (even though I am just returning after about 2 years)...

In any case, after my divorce I chose to persue a different route than you - I did the bar scene and unfortunately I learned that I was pretty good at it - well at least at the one night stands. For a few months it was OK because it seemed to help my ego, but then I realized it was tearing me up inside BECAUSE I was NOT that type of guy. So next I chose to meet and date whomever I could. Talk about some interesting dates! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Oh brother there are some strange birds out there...

Finally, I stopped and realized that I needed to slow down. I began meeting people on the Internet, mostly for company and just to chat. Then in walks Trish into my life - as if sent by God. Everything just clicked. We've hit some bad times and all I can do is just wait and pray and hope that it all works out.

So while you and I both seemed to go totally different routes after our divorces, I think God has led us back to a similar place. I think, no I know, that God wants you to have a special person in your life. You need to be open to it and I guarantee you that God will find someone for you. It might be Rose, it might not be. God may have just been using Rose to "open your eyes" to the possibilities. Ya know I definitely think that is what He is doing.

Here I am hurting again, in some ways worse than when I was separated and divorced, but I'll tell you what, the past 1 1/2 years I've spent with Trish have been so incredible that even if it ends, it will have been so worth it! I actually can say that I love her more than I loved my X because of the type of person Trish is... But if I chose to "sit this one out", I would never had made so many great memories with her... I think of Garth Brooks song, The Dance - "Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I'd a had to miss the dance"...

The MOST important thing to remember is that Trish came into my life because I LET God bring her into my life.

Don't be closed down to the possibility.
Have faith. Trust God. And know that sometimes God wants us to wait, but when it comes time, God will tell you to "move... now"... Just don't be afraid to do just that... And DON'T focus on the logistics and details - There is a common phrase people often use "the devil is in the details"... I started thinking more about that line in that, the devil CAN'T exist in our hearts, but he can run rampant in our minds if we let him... So many wayward spouses that we label as being "in the fog", I believe are simply focusing on the details, the "reasons" why things can't work, the logical issues... THEY aren't taking the time to listen, truly listen to what is in their hearts... below their fears... below their pain... below the issues...

Well how is that for a "just about to leave work" ramble?

So my advice is for you to "get out there and dance!"
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

God Bless,
Mike

Gnome,

Have you met "Rose's" mother yet??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> It just may be that the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.

Life really is an interesting mystery isn't it?

Make your plans as if you know what you are doing. Life will let you know when the plans need to be changed. Oh! and having kids in your 40's is actually not too bad. You can go right from college tuition to social security. I am doing that. I will be 65 when my youngst graduates from college IF he only takes 4 years. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Enjoy your life Gnome including knowing The Rose. Life can be good.

God Bless,

JL

<small>[ June 18, 2003, 04:50 PM: Message edited by: Just Learning ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by SoTired2000:
<strong>So while you and I both seemed to go totally different routes after our divorces, I think God has led us back to a similar place. I think, no I know, that God wants you to have a special person in your life. You need to be open to it and I guarantee you that God will find someone for you. It might be Rose, it might not be. God may have just been using Rose to "open your eyes" to the possibilities. Ya know I definitely think that is what He is doing.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, I entirely agree, and I am very much trying to stay open to whatever (and whomever) God brings along. It will be interesting to see how He works, though, because I seem to have fallen in with a mostly younger crowd, so the opportunities to interact with women my own age are currently rather limited. This wasn't really deliberate on my part, but my mindset and lifestyle fit better with the younger crowd, and I certainly look like I am about ten years younger than I actually am, so they don't act any differently toward me than they do with each other.

So whether it's God's doing or my own, it looks like I have sort of boxed myself in. But somehow I just cannot bring myself to deal with the typical "singles scene", where people are so focused on finding themselves partners. If God wants to find me someone, He's going to have to do it in a more unconventional way...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Here I am hurting again, in some ways worse than when I was separated and divorced, but I'll tell you what, the past 1 1/2 years I've spent with Trish have been so incredible that even if it ends, it will have been so worth it! I actually can say that I love her more than I loved my X because of the type of person Trish is... But if I chose to "sit this one out", I would never had made so many great memories with her... I think of Garth Brooks song, The Dance - "Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I'd a had to miss the dance"...</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The only thing I don't like about that song is the "left to chance" bit, since I prefer to believe that God is involved. But I'm entirely with Garth on the idea that the dance is worth the pain. One thing I discovered when God started working on me this spring is that I am not afraid to trust again. I've been hurt once - badly - but God brought me through that experience, and He used it to make me a better and wiser person. If necessary, I know He can do it again. I am more than willing to take the risk.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>The MOST important thing to remember is that Trish came into my life because I LET God bring her into my life. Don't be closed down to the possibility. Have faith. Trust God. And know that sometimes God wants us to wait, but when it comes time, God will tell you to "move... now"... Just don't be afraid to do just that...</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Heh. First He says "Wait!" and then He says "Move now!" and then He says "Wait!" again.

I was afraid to reach out, because I was desperately afraid of causing pain. But the Rose took everything I threw at her, even the weird stuff, and showed me that a woman with solid boundaries isn't destroyed by good intentions. She cured me of my fear, so that now it has become difficult for me to stop myself from reaching out.

But it feels good to have clear boundaries to respect!

And I won't be afraid to reach out to someone new, if that's what God has in mind. Heck, even when I first thought He might be suggesting that I should reach out to the Rose, I did it despite my fear. I think faith is more about taking action than it is about feeling confident about that action.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>So my advice is for you to "get out there and dance!"</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">God is teaching me new steps each week!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Just Learning:
<strong>Have you met "Rose's" mother yet??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> It just may be that the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ouch!

I would love to meet the Rose's family, but...I don't date married women, so I believe that transferring my interest from the Rose to her mother would be out of the question. On the other hand, she does have an older sister. Hmm...

But the Rose's whole family is many states away.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Make your plans as if you know what you are doing. Life will let you know when the plans need to be changed.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, that's been my experience. And although some decision deadlines are coming up in a few months, I don't need any answers yet. A lot could happen in those months, and I really do believe that I will have enough of an answer when I need it, even if it's not as complete an answer as I might like...

God has never failed me yet. Even though He hasn't always been easy on me.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Oh! and having kids in your 40's is actually not too bad.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, the anxious part of me is an ultra-conservative risk-averse paranoid. The fact is, even with the financial hit I've taken, I'm still better off and have better prospects than an awful lot of people who are getting along just fine. I think a good bit of my trepidation comes from the fact that I never considered the possibility before. If I got remarried to someone around my own age, the chances of starting a family from scratch would be pretty darn slim; and even on those rare occasions when I reflected on the possibility of remarriage, I never would have dreamed that I could possibly become interested in someone so much younger than myself. So I'm still reeling from the shock of opening my mind to such radically new ideas.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Enjoy your life Gnome including knowing The Rose. Life can be good.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, it's actually pretty exhilirating right now. And even if I never saw or spoke to the Rose again, it would be difficult to overstate what she has already brought to my life. It's almost unbelievable how much healing I have experienced since the day I asked her out (and got turned down). The Rose has proven to me that being myself and being honest is not enough to destroy someone I care about - which probably sounds like a silly thing to say, but after everything I've been through it's nevertheless what I needed to learn.

I think it's quite possible that that is why God brought the Rose into my life, and that that's as far as our "relationship" will ever go. But I can't help hoping otherwise...

Just skimmed over the posts in this thread (my daughters waiting to get on the computer)LOL

I just wanted to add a few things:

I agree with LupoLady that Satan uses our low times to attack us. Our pastor says if you're worrying it's not a message from God.

Times of indecision can be particularly frustrating and make me feel stalled - unsure what to do. You know how if you picture him coming back you thik about how you want it to be, what you could do to prepare for that? And then there's times when you're convinced he'll never change so you try to find the courage and respolve to do what you have to do then? I also have a mental list of things to do whether or not my husband ever changes. You can picture it like a Venn diagram with two sets of to-do's (listed inside two circles) only there's a subset of things to do that belong to both sets (where the two circles overlap). Whether or not he ever gets into anger management therapy - I still have to get the basement organized. And a walk or exercise video will be good for me no matter what kind of day I'm having. I can also focus on my long-term goals that are not directly tied to the success or failure of my marriage, things like learning about starting a small business someday. So instead of worrying which direction to go when my emotions see-saw, not wanting to waste time and energy on a possibly futile pursuit, I use those times to thnk and work on the overlapping part of the Venn diagram.

And if that doesn't help I can get busy doing things I would be less likely to do if he still lived here. This list is actually pretty long as he was quite a grump, lazy, unmotivated, and very low moral standards. He didn't like to: cook-out, go to drive-in movies, garden, take walks with us... He would complain that it was either too hot/cold/humid to go outside. He preferred sitting with one hand on the computer mouse or keyboard and the other on the tv remote the vast majority of the time he wasn't at work! So one of the things I get to do more of now that he's gone is use the computer and hold the tv remote LOL. Oh and about gardening, he didn't just not want to do it himself he didn't want ME to garden either! Nobody in his family has much interest in gardening (apparently they prefer to have their yards 'landscaped'). He would express disapproval if I started a flower bed saying it would just make mowing more difficult and look ugly in the winter. I get to listen to the Christian radio station now and we go to church regularly. My daughters and I contribure to church and charity now (what little we can afford that is). Even though he makes $50 per hour he objected the few times we did something charitable in the past. We got rid of the porn problem on the computer and turn the channel when anything raunchy is on tv. He thought it was extremely rude if I ran the vacuum when he was at home so I can do that anytime I want to now (OK not much fun I admit).

Speaking of housework, I now clean because I want and deserve to live in a neat home - NOT because I'm afraid he'll get angry or criticize. I also no longer think about competing with a former bimbo of his that he claimed was much better at keeping house than me. I can rearrange the furniture whenever and however I want to now.

Also, I can go places when it's raining or snowing. He was such a car freak that he actually would try to make us stay home when the weather was wet because he didn't want the car to get wet! (And where we live the weather isn't sunny and dry too often.)

I enjoy not having to listen to other women compliment him for supposedly being such a devoted father, supportive of his daughters' skating... when we know he complained bitterly about time and money spent at the rink. I don't have to watch him flirt or be flirted with anymore, not daring to act as if I notice let alone object. I don't have to explain where my husband went when he suddenly disappears before the kids' recitals are over. And I don't have to listen to his mother repeat ancient false gossip about me anymore, then chastise me for not 'letting go of the past' and for being 'thin-skinned' if I try to tell her that's not how it happened...

Oh yea, it's usually pretty easy to get out of those slumps and getting easier by the day LOL