It is finished. I am free. Got a little less than I wanted, but it's done. And my attorneys got the computer back before my privacy was further violated.

Was in an 9 hour deposition on tuesday nothing short of a living hell.

I will post more later but am honestly out of words. Nothing can describe the hell I've gone through. Also lost my job on wednesday. But there will be some good prospects and one on the horizon...First interview on july 3 and better than old job. About 30k better at least.

God is moving. Moving somehow. I will write later.

Until tonight...God bless you friends. I could not have survived these last few days without your prayers. From the bottom of my heart I thank you.

You won't believe when we settled how Jethro ended everything and his last words were asking about the "no overnight visits by members of the opposite sex" and my lead attorney had to spell it out for him. No fornication under the same roof with your child during visitaiton ok?" JEthro even teared up twice during the final recordings of the settlement but he fell back into his foggy little self.

He can't shack up with her anymore. Sorry. In the end, I got a bit less, but will be ok in about 2 months. I will post more. I am not devastated.

I am free.

I can date now. And when I look at my date, there will not be any guilt or any feelings of shame because there is no adultery between us. Nope. And I am free to be happy and not tied to anybody. And Jethro is already tied down and the ink isn't dry yet. They have lies and deceit and suspect as my son told me, the honeymoon is over definitely (son told me that daddy tells her to shut up and that he says "$hit" and other cuss words to her). The house built on quicksand will fall soon but I am having nothing to do with it.

I am free.

Free at last; free at last. God Almighty I am free at last!--M.L.K.

Am going for a jog. I have changed my log on to just peachy.

I am free. It's horrible that adultery has broken another family, but I am free of this sin at last. No more of holding onto it. No more of marriage on a life support. I am free and God has allowed me to survive somehow.

Dear JustPeachy,

I am glad for you that it is over. Be prepared for some ups and downs...but it definitely does get better.

I am sorry that the FOG never cleared for you...but you will do much better.

Hang in there...Pat

Thanks. Fog definitely still thick for Jethro but I am free and seeing fog free for the first time in nine years.

I'll be back later tonight.

God bless.

Amen Just Peachy,

I know exactly how you are feeling right now.
That freedom lifts the heaviness right off.
That's when you know the divorce was the
best thing to do.

The house founded on the "Rock, Jesus" will
always stand. And here you stand, with Him.

And it's time for you to "Live the life that He
has given you abundantly to live."

You are a walking testimony that there is life
after divorce, for some!!!

God's justice and mercy have prevailed!!

Sent with Love, -Ladysheep

Peach,

Good to see you posting. My H told me he was able to speak with you. Must say we have both been quite worried.

He & our son are at the Giants/Athletic's baseball game tonight (somehow A's doesn't look right here - LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> He will be glad to know you are surviving well.

So Jethro thought he could impose more restrictions on you than him??? What a hoot! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

You get some rest and hope your cold is gone. Howz the little one? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hugz,
L.

Peachy,
I'm there with you. I just got notice that my DV was final June 12th. I'm a little sad, too, but it isn't anything more than what I expected. We did no contest, as he pretty much gave me everything I want. I suppose the quicker he could do this the better, so he could be with blondie. I hope she's worth it because he sure is sacrificing a lot for her. He filed, and paid for all of it, and I'm glad I had nothing to do with the filing of it.

Anyway, you and I will survive. As in your case, we may now build our houses on the Rock, not on sand, and in that I am comforted.

I hope all goes well for you. My XH is in fog right now, too, really really deep. Maybe I should call him Jed as we are from AL, and you have already claimed Jethro!

I'm thinking of changing my screen name, as you did. Any ideas? I want a new identity to go with my new life.

God Bless you, and take care!

See you around the board,
Kim

{{{peachy}}}

Get a good night's sleep (you may find it is one of the first you have had in a long time)! Those depositions are a PITA, I had to go through 2 of them. In the end, you may have settled for less, but you got more. Never forget that!

I was horrified to hear about them taking your hard drive, but that seems so small compared to the loss of your job! Maybe it was for you to take a break for a bit until the right new job comes around. Will keep good thoughts and prayers going for you in that direction, the interviews sound good.

Take care of yourself and know you did everything you could to do the right thing.

Lori <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Oh Lord we thank you that you have taken care of Peachy through this whole ordeal.

Lord we do thank you for your comfort and for your protection over her...

thank you Lord that all things are ok.
Peachy can hold her head up now and she can walk in her newness in you..

She is truly a new creation in Christ Jesus..
help her to follow hard after you...and keep on the path you have set before her..

Father we pray and ask that you let her hear of a new job soon..one that will take care of her and her son..and she is going to know you had something to do with it..and she will praise you..

Work out the details not the logistics of the rest of her life...I also feel a relief for her..
thank you..in Jesus name amen...

It is finished... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Peachy,
I echo everyone's thoughts and prayers...we're so glad your ordeal with Jethro is over. That's too bad about your job, but you know by now that you're a true survivor and I'm sure God has something better ahead in all aspects of your life.

Love your new POSITIVE screen name, too!

Peachy - I have been following your story - I guess because you and I are here in GA brought to this state by our EX's. I just wanted to take a minute to say that I pray for you and your son all the time - and I know GOD has given you strenght. I am glad that you can now move forward. You seem like a very strong woman and you fight for what you believe is right.

Bless you and your son and I hope that everything in your future is just PEACHY!

God Bless

Today is day one. And I am ok. Actually went out late last night w/neighbors and a girlfriend and had a salad and a margarita. It's also the first day of summer. Know there will be tough days ahead, but I am going to make it.

Words simply cannot express enough love to you folks. We are sometimes really down here, and we support each other. That is good. I am going to continue to support folks here for a while and know I may need more support.

The funniest thing was the "no sex under same roof as child" decree and how vehemently Jethro fought it. Oh well. It's the first day of summer and today I am going to do something I want to. I am going jogging. I am going to clean up house and then lay out on back deck (faces the woods ok?) in my bikini and get some sun and listen to radio and read a book. It's hilarious. I am the free one. He sure isn't. And now Jethro has this attractive, xwife, still pretty young and with no baggage as she dumped hers. He's got to look at his chickiepoo, Family Values, with all the lies and deceit between them. And I am reborn. Everything is new to me. Nobody to answer to (well except God) and no controlling. Nothing. And the funniest part is he can't even check up on me. My first weekend single is weekend where he has our son. Hmmmm. He must think I am having the chippendales over for dinner or something. The foggy people alway imagine us the WS doing the same thing they are ok?

The money is going to be really tight for a while. But it will be ok. I may have to borrow a tiny bit, but will use it to just pay rent and use first bit of alimony next month to extend the time and to really look for a good job. Please keep praying.

Orchid, I was so exhausted I didn't even remember talking to Mr. Orchid. Please call. I can't find my address book. Think I hid it from Jethro. I love ya! I also love Formerly Confused, John C, losthusband,mykidsdadand friends, and everybody I talk to from here.
Misery, Ladysheep, Bladybug, Kimmy, sadeyes,bangarra, and avondale. God bless you. Kimmy, think you should change to either 1)Kim-my-my-name back or 2)Kim-me a bright day

I like 2.

And thanks for the prayers. It is hard. I never ever wanted to be here. I am divorced now awaiting the final decree with it to be done within days. By next friday should be signed. I don't care. God has made me new. God has made me whole now. I am still hurt and it will take time and I am sure there will be new things Jethro will do. Like either be forced to Marry It (Family Values) or not shack up with it. Learn to control Mr. Willy for once or else just teach my son to lie about her not spending the night. And if he does, I will smack down legally on him and that will be baaaad for him.

And Kimmy, Maybe you should call him "cousin shorty"--the guy on the hillbillies that was always chasing women. Like he'd get stuck with all of Mr. Drysdale's secreteries in the secreterial pool. That would be funny. His cchickie can be Jethrene.

Oh...Just got an offer for a first date already. Ironically it's a former us attorney (prosecutor) turned doctor. Cool. I am considering.

Need time to heal but can always have a new friend though.

And btw...I have to change my profile again. He's not my wh...he's XWH.

And God is the rock. He's how I made it when I was too weary to walk. When my eyes were swollen from crying all night. When I didn't know what to do. I am not going to live like I did before but that's ok. I didn't like the golden cage I lived in. It came with a huge price. My life was the price tag. God opened it and wants me to fly now. It's hard but I will learn to fly. And God is going to make us grow.

One thing I will never do btw...I will not ever justify his actions. I will never give any leeway to his affairs or enable him in any way. It's the least I can do now for this guy. When I looked across the table at him yesterday it was wierd. He didn't even look like the same guy. Everybody else was wearing nice conservative clothes and here he is wearing a muscle tight kind of shirt and some jeans. Wierd. He is also gaining a tiny bit of his weight back now. Guess the honeymoon with family values is wearing down. His pattern basically. But the funny part is I don't think he looked that good anymore to me. I miss the guy I once knew. Not this clown. Who sat across from me yesterday was an older (by 10 years)guy trying to pretend he's in his early 20's, a man with no morality, and a guy who would argue to allow ho's to spend the night under the same roof as his precious child. That ain't attractrive to me let me tell you. No mam no sir.

It's a new day. It's wierd though. It is over. Like a book. There was a beginning. There was a middle. Then things got really bad. Got very sad and then there was an end. Horrible end but nonetheless an end. And on the last page I woke up and it was a new day. That was great.

Ok. Nuff said. I am changing my profile.

Bladybug...Where in GA are you? We need to get together girl! Friends are wonderful and such a blessing.

Oh here's the new profile.

Linkin rocks! Plus they have cornered the market imho, on writing gut wrenching songs about relationships and pain. But they still rock. And I am trying to heal. My healing song is "Somwhere I belong" from new Meteora CD. Very healing song.

Peachy

Not to be a sappy Trekker, but this song has had significant meaning for me after my divorce. Hope you can see the meaning in it:

*****
It´s been a long road, getting from there to here.
It´s been a long time, but my time is finally near.
And I can feel the change in the wind right now. Nothing´s in my way.
And they´re not gonna hold me down no more, no they´re not gonna hold me down.

Cause I´ve got faith of the heart.
I´m going where my heart will take me.
I´ve got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I´ve got strength of the soul. And no one´s gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I´ve got faith, I´ve got faith, faith of the heart.

It´s been a long night. Trying to find my way.
Been through the darkness. Now I finally have my day.
And I will see my dream come alive at last. I will touch the sky.
And they´re not gonna hold me down no more, no they´re not gonna change my mind.

Cause I´ve got faith of the heart.
I´m going where my heart will take me.
I´ve got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I´ve got strength of the soul. And no one´s gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I´ve got faith, faith of the heart.

I´ve known the wind so cold, and seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I´ve been through the fire and I´ve been through the rain.
But I´ll be fine.

Cause I´ve got faith of the heart.
I´m going where my heart will take me.
I´ve got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I´ve got strength of the soul. And no one´s gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I´ve got faith.

I´ve got faith of the heart.
I´m going where my heart will take me.
I´ve got strength of the soul. And no one´s gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I´ve got faith, I´ve got faith, faith of the heart.

It´s been a long road.
*****

Love ya!

CJ

Just got in from bikini time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I love your Dr. Phil quote--healthy and alone. I am with you!

I am really feeling wierd. It is happy. Happy is wierd for me. I haven't felt happy in so long. It is totally foreign. It is good, but totally foreign.

I have a tan finally. And feel really good for first time in ages. I know I am not stupid, fat, ugly or anything that Jethro thought I was. It was all about him. Now it's all about ME AND LITTLE GUY. We're gonna be selfish ok? I am getting my feet on the ground, praying for that new job and getting on with my life. No more draggin around that hillbilly ok?

This is fun...Plan A for me and son. I am going to pretend to be a foggy yet moral single loving mother. Hey it's all about us now. He's gonna have to stand back and watch me fly. Sure he's got money (although he claims he only makes 90k per year now)..Sure he is living in the mcmansion, sure he is cute, but his insides are rotten right now and he's really not as cute as he was once. I think yesterday he looked like he has started really aging and was putting back on some of those pounds. His hair stuck up kinda wrong too. He's trying to do the Ricky Martin thing but it is only working for Ricky...

He is not my concern anymore. Let Family Values have em

I sure hope she's got a new apartment or her old roommate will let her move back in. It's movin day for Family Values very soon. She should already be out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Ha ha. She's on her own and so am I. But the funny part is I don't ever have to explain anything. She thought she found a sugar daddy and could shack up with him until he threw her aside like the others. Wrongo. She found a sugar daddy with a FORMIDIBLE WIFE/XWIFE WHO WON'T TAKE ANY CRAP WHEN IT COMES TO HER SON. I will always stand for my boy. And when I financially get on my feet (PLEASE PRAY FOR GOOD JOB ALL RIGHT?) then he will never be able to control me again.

All he gets as far as control, is the deciding opinion on private schools because he's paying for it. And it has to be close to where I live. I will let him have that tidbit of control but that is that. Nothing more. Sorry Jethro.

He asked for it...He got it. And he's gonna regret what he did. I swear the man will. Because for the last 3 years I have felt like his victim. The affairs, the lies, everything hurt so badly. Now I don't have to be conerned with it anymore. It's behind me. But it is still reality for Jethro. Unrepented sin. Even if he marries it, it will still be unrepented sin. No way out for him.

And I will carry my head high. I don't even feel like I've been "cast aside" as the Bible puts it. Nope. I rather think that I cast him aside. What he did was wrong biblically and ethically. Terribly wrong.

But it happened. He didn't destroy me. I endured. I went on. And soon I will have a date...Can't believe it! Some guy will actually take me out to a nice restaurant. I get to dress up. I get to fix myself up. He will open a door for me. We will talk and it will be nice. And it's fun. It will be. It will be totally wierd but fun.

I've been alone now for almost 2 years. But I am free...I keep saying it because I can't believe it. When God frees you from the sins, from the past, from the broken promises of our spouses, it feels great. Yes I am sad that he broke up our family. Yes I am sad that monkeyho and family values helped bring down my family along with my husband and that I didn't get to have a say in saving my marriage despite my efforts whatsoever but it's ok.

That is THEIR PROBLEM. Not mine. And one day when our son is old enough, he will learn of everything. Everything. He will know how his dad went wacko and even broke into mom's house to try to continue to destroy her should he want to find out. I won't encourage but all kids want the truth.

I am free. Here's what I am free from: 1)a man trying to literally drive me insane. And a man who tried to convince counselor #1 that I was after only having his one visit with her...Sociopaths are very convincing and can fool almost everybody ok? 2)a man who lied to me for three years. A man who disrespected me and made me hate myself for a time. A man who utterly disrespected his wife in the most unbelieveable ways. 3)a man who was financially reckless, living as he said "as a rock star" and squandered over a 100k of our monies. Of monies he robbed that could have been for our son's child support. But hey, it's more fun for the foggy to "live like a rock star" with basically lingerie models...

So maybe you guys know why I am happy. I am no longer tied to that. Nope. And I hope he's happy. Still questioning the crocodile teary eyes I saw him have. Surely he must have not felt a twinge of guilt over his actions? Over his treatment of his wife and child? But he's back. And the funny thing is this.

I was no good to anybody as long as I was tied to Jethro. All the uncertainty, the threats, the mental anguish/abuse he put me through even after separation was huge. Now I am going to be good for me and my boy. And for my friends and family. I feel so different. Like I said earlier, it's wierd. It is strange and wierd but I LIKE IT!

Freedom rocks.

Oh. Here is the cool part. After two weeks of nausea, stress, no sleep, and no desire to eat, the scales are tippin' almost 10 lighter. I am almost there! It's bikini time for peachy. So all he accomplished was WHAT HE DOESN'T WANT ME TO DO. Look good, feel good, sleep well, be the best mother I can be, and be healthy and well...and alone...or maybe not soon...And best thing is NO CONTACT FOR ALMOST 2 MONTHS.

I am plan A'ing and Plan B'ing at the same time. This is cool. I will continue in plan B when the bond is lifted and will do so until the day Jethro changes. And it may never occur so nothing will be lost there. Only minimal and about son and brief when that comes. If he wanders out of fog someday we can talk then. But I don't see it happening soon and frankly, I left him up to God although I remember him in prayers.

He is like a stranger to me now.

Go Peachy!
You sound great.
I am doing well with the help of friends. I can't wait to post as you have. I even thought up my new name: Newly Free
I've been separated for 1 1/2 years, and I can't wait to make it final. I realized this morning that we've lived almost 1/2 of the little one's life apart from each other.

My goal is to be 40 and Single. Only 8 more months to make it happen.

Peachy.
You sound so good! I'm so proud of you. You are realizing a lot about who you really are and what he had taken from you. It's time for you to reclaim you!!! YOu sound like a great woman, and some lucky guy will be just that, LUCKY, to have you.

NO, you are not cast aside...you are set free. Like you, I see the irony in this situation...both of our X's are with OW, and we are free...free to look and enjoy life again. Sounds like your last 3 years and mine are the same, and if so, you will be so glad to be free from the stress of trying to please a man who was lost in his own self-centered, egotistical ways. I know I am. Like you, I felt the same way the last time I looked at X....he wasn't as good looking, and not nearly appealing knowing what type of man he turned into. I was picking up kids for a ballgame, and do you know he didn't even hold the door open for me??? He walked out, and I caught it behind him. NO NO NO, MY boys are learning that GENTLEMEN hold doors for ladies....and they will learn that from ME as their daddy (cousin shorty, ha ha) can't even do the most simple "gentlemanly" thing.

Our stories sound almost identical that I'm going to take your advice and call my WXH "cousin shorty" because he sounds so much like your Jethro. That is hilarious. And "Jethrene!!" for HER...That's great, too. Thanks for the idea, and I think I'll use it.

Anyway, keep posting and letting us know how your new life has become. I really am happy for you. I will pray about your job situation.

Kim

(by the way, I'm considering the name changes you gave me......look for new one soon!)

Things still somewhat ok.

Good news: got another offer for a date. Went to Barnes and Noble and got new Harry Potter and a Latte yesterday. Son will love it! In line at the Starbucks was this really cute guy. About my age. Tall dark and very cute but I was just observant. No speaking nothing. He got me a napkin and straw after they made me my latte. Then I went outside to read and just relax. Gorgeous weather. This was about 8 pm. Then the guy walks outside and sees me reading harry potter. He says, "glad you're spending time with your inner child.." laughing. I smile. He introduces himself and asks if he can sit down and read as well. I said ok. He is European, been here about 10 years and is a software executive. Anyhow, asked me out. I just got his email and he got mine. No numbers b/c that is too much for me. I told him that I was single and he asked how long. I said "ONE DAY". He laughed and thought I was kidding. He then said, "well I guess it's my lucky day."

That was nice. However, the roller coaster is not over yet. Not at all.

At the pool earlier that day, I saw some little ones about 1/1/2 years. Then a panic feeling, a mild panic attack set in. The fact I may not ever have chance to have kids hit me and I almsot started crying. Feel robbed. Like he took away something from me. Then I realized even if I remarry that my kids will never be from same gene pool. Very wierd feeling. I went home and cried for first time since friday.

This is the wierd part. You close the book, but there is unfinished business. Always will be. I think it's awful how they just leave loose ends for us like that. I sure hope Jethro and FV had a good weekend. My neighbors said if Jethro teared up friday that maybe things are just hitting him...like what he did...who knows. I am tryng to not ever think about it.

I know I won't be single forever, but I swear..I just don't think I can bear to think about weddings or anything. At this juncture, I don't even know how I could remarry. I want to thought. Hope I will not morph into some kind of GA version of "the Runaway Bride". My instinctive reflex now when guys approach me is to "run, run like h#ll." I don't know why?

But still I am firm and glad about the part that I am free. I am the free one. Not JEthro or FV. They are still living in sin and in the chains that are sin. He can't even mourn because he has to pretend. I don't have to anymore.

This week is going to be all about me and son and working out, going to pool, and getting a new job. That's the focus. I may be able to be off fiscally, for a bout 3 weeks so my search will go well. Please, please pray about this.

Thanks newly and Kimmy. If anybody wants to email me, they can at uofmtigrrr@aol. I think that's right. If I am wrong I will correct myself a bit later. New screen name.

So C.S. (cousin shorty) and Jethrene are not freee either. Funny, but if you watch the Hillbillies on TV (tvland), you'll see very frequently the excapades of C.S. Hilarious. He's a womanzing back hills maniac. None of em' are. That's what is so ironic. They became free to only live in chains. God has freed our souls because He knew we could not bear any more.

And when its too heavy, He picks up our burdens and makes it lighter.

Ok..Here's the praise. My best girlfriend and a guy buddy from back home are wanting to take me to the beach for july 4. They are renting a gorgeous condo and it's 3 bedroom. They just know that I need some decompression time and need to talk. When she called me, (haven't talked to her since right before the nazi interrogation last tuesday)I just busted into tears and cried my heart out to her. She said shw knew something was up and that "there was something heavy in her soul"...She knew it was me. She's almost as close as a sister and I am blessed. He's a great buddy of mine too. Totally respectful of me and knows the living heck I've been through. Guess it will be like a kinda wierd three's company. But I am probably going to go. And then two weeks later off to beach again to scout out our next state convention site..St. Simon's Island GA. Gorgeous. Not white sand like where I am going over the 4th, but still beautiful.

God has known my burdens. He knows my soul. Next to find a church home too. Finances, job, church, and some stability. That's immediate goals.

I am so wounded still and didn't know it. It will take time I am sure. I wonder if the unfinished business feeling ever goes away. I feel the same and did so after my dad died four years ago. I still have that feeling today. I am at peace with that but still miss him and have that feeling.

Think deep down there will always be that 1% wishing that Jethro would change and find himself and truth and God. But I am not going to wait on it. That one percent that misses the man I loved and married. But i know that guy is M.I.A. and maybe forever. Missing in Affair/Action.

Good anacronym. M.I.A. Could be Missing in Action/Affair or Married In Affair. Cool.

Anyhow I want to really thank my friends here. Thanks John C for listening to me during my meltdown. Thanks for listening to everything. God bless you.

Orchid, I will call ya today and give you my new cell #.

I love you. Couldn't get through this without you. I want to let you know that. God bless everybody!

JustPeachy - I just wanted to let you know that I have been reading just not responding much - I have been trying to break away - lets see my hell started in 10/01 - divorced in 9/02 - and now finally June 03 - I think I can honestly say that I think the bad days are over - FINALLY - I think I just accepted the fact that hey - whoever he was he will never be again - and I have no control over that - I can only control myself and how I feel - I just simply let go and accepted that I bad thing had happened to me - but I am going to be ok - for sure I will - as you will - and Somehow I don't think they really will ever be - but that is not our problem - Still be prepared for bad days when you wake up and wonder how and why - but remember as time goes on - those days truly will come few and further between... Stay Strong ... Good Luck in your search for a new job - just think everything is new - new job, new single life, new dating scene and new and wiser you.... Good luck...