is there anybody out there with success stories remarrying there ex spouse, I need inspiration, I dont want to lose my wife, I still love her and want another chance one day.

I personally know someone who got divorced after less than a year of marriage, and now they are remarried. They seem to be doing OK now, but the family of the H.......does NOT feel good about the remarriage, so there are still some issues there. Me personally......once the papers are signed that is it. I believe way too much damage has been done by that point. I PERSONALLY could never go back....that would be an old chapter and I would have to turn the page. There are way too many people out there to bond with again. Alot of people are just scared and feel there is noone else out there for them, and who could make them a better spouse and couple. That is BS. There are tons of people out there....tons. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

To read about success stories of restored marriages and to get a daily encouragement, I have discovered a very useful site:

web page

Many days I am discouraged, but there are many reports of healed marriages, and it helps me to continue to be optimistic.

Another thing that's helped me be optimistic is the book "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman. It has helped my mental outlook a lot!

I hope things work out for you!

That webpage didn't come out very well... I'll try again: http://www.rejoiceministries.org/

You have to be careful with that website though- don't drive yourself crazy by being consumed with your marriage. God hates divorce but he also loves His children and knows as humans we stumble and that all marriages Cannot be restored- especially where one partner is deep in sin.

Ditto to that website. It can totally mess with your head if you are a person of faith. I am one and know that I did all I could do. My xH was a controller and would have used all that stuff they tell you to do to only control me further. If i had done the restore thing I would be in a padded cell. God doesn't want his children to suffer. And my xH is deep in his sin too.

I think that sometimes it is best to clear the air. Most people don't get hitched the day after the d papers are signed...although some will jump right in...but it's a temporary fix.

I am concentrating on working on me right now. Doing a good plan A for me and for benefit of my child and friends and family. I think that sometimes a divorce is needed and could be a good thing if you wanted a truly clean slate to start over with your xw.

However, you have to proceed with caution. If she divorced you let her have that freedom and see that it isn't as green as she thought it would be. And time needs to pass. Have the negative issues been resolved between you two? If not then there's nothing to work toward. For example, my xH would have to 1)do a 180 and change his entire life. 2)be totally honest 3)find God again 4)work on anger issues and abuse issues. I don't think right now that is anything he would want to do.

And I would NOT WANT to be with a man who had these problems in his life. It is that simple. If there isn't change, real change, and a period of time to observe that change, I would never think about going back. And that's my advice.

well said just peachy. I am having a discussion about that website in general questions also. You should check it out if you want to. You may get fired up like I did though!