I dont expect that I will get any sympathy for what I am about to write... but please remember that I am here for support.. Thank you.

Long story short.. I met a wonderful man in the middle of a divorce himself. We clicked from day one. We are friends and we have been helping each other get through a very tough time. We both married too young, and we have alot in common. Basically, after 3 months... we have fallen in love with each other. I know that I need to be careful bc I am vaulnerable right now, and we are both going through the same situation.

Problem is... I work with his wife. She and I are not "friends", but we are co-workers.
She found out about us today.. and now what do I do???

THanks,
Heather

RUN!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Heather,
Back away from this guy as quickly as possible.
Did you know he was married when you "fell in love"? He knew it. Do you really want to be involved with a guy who treats his wife like that? He may have told you how dreadful his marriage is, mine did the same, all the while telling me how wonderful i am.
If his wife confronts you, apologize profusely and tell her you will NEVER see the man again. AND THEN, STAY AWAY FROM HIM! No contact is NO NO NO contact. No emails, no phone calls, no peeking over your cubicle to bat your eyes towards his cubicle, no secret meetings, no "oh we are just friends". NO CONTACT!
Then, WHEN his divorce is final, if it was meant to be, it will be. Wait until then, then start very slowly. You both have lots of healing to do before you are whole human beings again.
NO SEX until you are both healed. Again, if it was meant to be, it will be, no matter how long you have to wait.
Heather, you can do this.
Be strong, be patient, be wise. Read read read every and all you can get your eyes on in this site.
I am not slamming you or love. I am speaking from experience.

Heather,
You are now a OW (other woman) in an EA (emotional affair).
You yourself said in your last post that you still miss your XH, right? So, it only stands to reason that affection and positive attention from any man right now, while you are vunerable, would feel oh so good, right? You are still in the grieving stages form you divorce.
Now, from a BS's (betrayed spouce) point of view, even a EA is BAD NEWS.
How do you know that they are really getting a divorce? Did he tell you? Oh sure, in his vunerable state, or what ever state he is in, he craves positive attention. He will tell you anything. You are vunerable, a guy (even guys will tell you this one) can smell a vunerable woman a mile away.
Do you know whether or not his wife is crying her eyes out at home wishing that it would come all back together? Maybe she is stoaic in public, puts up a tough front, defends herself with "divorce" talk. ( I have done that when i thought all was lost and we had NO hope). But, deep down, has she ever told you they are definately getting a divorce?
The besst thing any one ever did for me was my H's last EA. She basically told him to go back home and work on it. We are doing much better now. On the road to marital bliss.
So, Heather........
Read about Emotional Affairs.
Read about the FOG and denial.
WORK ON YOU!
Get whole, get healthy, learn to be Heather and her daughter w/o any one else.
Single parenting is hard work, you can do it for a while.
DO NOT BE THE REASON FOR THEIR DIVORCE! Let them figure it out for themselves and let them be the reason for what ever direction the relationship goes in.

Heather, You say he is "in the middle of a divorce." What does that mean? How close to divorce are they? Who's divorcing who, and why?

Id like to touch on several things...
1. they were our neighbors and we hung out as couples (her and him, and me and my husband).
2. I work with her, and I she tells everyone everything about her life. She has confided in me for a while now. I have tried to communicate between them for a long time to see if their marriage had a chance. It is over.
3. She has a boyfriend right now, her divorce papers are signed... their marriage is over.
4. My husband knows that I have been seeing this man and is ok with it. He has a girlfriend also.
5. My marriage is over by my choice. My husband and I have remained civil and friendly.
6. I am not jumping in over my head. I might be young, but I have survived being raped by my father, growing up in foster care, the death of my mother, and being in an abusive marriage. I am thinking about every move I make.
7. I know it is not the smartest thing to fall in love with a coworkers ex husband, but you cant always help who you have feelings for.
8. This relationship is going one day at a time. He is a wonderful man who is looking for all of the same things I am looking for. We have been talking for a while now and I am not saying that we are getting married anytime soon. Trust me.
9. This is real life. I dont live my life off of MB rules. I know that it is not "right" what I am doing, but to me I am happy for one time in my life, and I am not about to let that go.

THank you all for your replies. I knew what most of you would say. I am here for support. I have been on here for almost 3 years. I see many situations on here that I do not agree with, but I always try to look at it from all areas. You may not agree/ or ever do what I am doing... but that is what makes people different.

~Heather

Well, there you go, then, right?

Well, Alrighty then!