Just wondering bout this alot.

I am the BS, not the WH, and where I stand with wat the Bible says I believe I am free to remarry if he divorces me but I dont think he could, at least not with God's blessing....true or not? So many different answers...wat is THE answer? I just wonder that if this is true then i will feel more motivated to stay single (although not divorced yet) in case he does realise that the best chance he has of Blessing in marriage is with me. Any feedback? Any other sites/posts I could read about this?

Dancer

Hi Dancer,

I like your name (I used to be a ballet dancer <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ).

There are different verses that talk about adultery and remarriage. I would advise studying them and praying about what the answer is.

I have read three different things by three very Godly men (all pastors) who all have a slightly different view, so... what I did was pray about it, consider their beliefs, study my Bible, and then decided. No adultery in my situation though. But my husband did divorce me and I struggled with wondering if it's okay to remarry.

I decided that no, it's really not even though the thought of being single the rest of my life brought me great sorrow... like the loss of a dream. The reason is this: "Do not divorce" and if you divorce, "you must stay single or reconcile with your husband." But, it's hard 'cause I didn't do the divorcing, but still... well, I just don't feel good about remarrying (or even dating). I told my husband "'til death" and still feel, that even though we are divorced, I want to keep that vow.

If my husband remarries however, well, then, in essence, he will be committing adultery because the Bible says that if you divorce (and you're both Believers and no adultery), then you have two choices: stay single or reconcile. Not easy to follow. I personally, used to think, "No, God can't possibly mean that. That's too harsh." But after the divorce, I now understand. IF I remarry, there go any chances of reconciliation. IF I stay single, there is a chance. Same with my husband. Same with you. If you remarry, then there will be no chance of any reconciliation with your husband (who God can bring to repentence and can change).

Anyways... the books I read are "Divorce and Remarriage" by Tony Evans (it's a small booklet. You can order it from his website. He talks about how the Bible says a Believer who divorces is spiritually dead and how the Bible says you can remarry if your spouse dies. He believes that can include spiritual death. BUT... he says that the church needs to determine that. Because, in the Bible, the Church is supposed to apply church discipline... with the hopes of restoring the sinning person. However, few churches do this. Ours didn't.)

The other book is called "Different By Design" by John McArthur. He talks about how the Greek for "widow" didn't say that "widow" meant by death... but that it included women simply abandoned (divorced) by their husbands. A widow is free to remarry.

There's also a couple sermon things by a man named John Piper. He says, no remarriage period, and it's really hard to find anything wrong with what he says.

So... all three of these men are highly respected pastors and very knowlegeable about the Bible.

There are also two different sites that I found. One is www.restorem.org and the other is www.rejoiceministries.org. Both these couples divorced and remarried (after the husband committed adultery) and both wives felt that they were not to remarry but rather were to wait and pray for reconciliation. I would encourage you to go to those sites and read their testimonies as well as other testimonies posted there.

That's kinda alot but I hope it helps some. Oh, I'll try to post a link to John Piper's articles and some other stuff.

I do think that todays' 20th century world definitely strays from the Bible more than holds to it. And you know, the Bible does say it is even better to remain single. I know I have really struggled with all this in the past few months that I've been divorced.... and wept many a bitter tear at the thought of actually choosing to be single in hopes of reconciliation to a man who right now, doesn't appear to want it (although I have no idea how God is working inside his heart). BUT, I did chose that I will remain single with the hopes that God will work in my husband's life as He has also worked in mine, and that we will reconcile. I pretty much have decided that as long as there is hope, I won't remarry. Hope for me means we are both still single. If he remarried, then I am not sure.

I know a very godly man married to a good friend of mine. His wife left him (long time ago). He did remarry, BUT he waited 10 yrs! Long time.

And you are right that the best chance of your husband being blessed is with you because you are his wife. "The two are no longer two but one flesh."

You will probably get alot of different "advice" here (and everywhere you ask) so bathe it all in prayer and be in the Word to help you discern between the good (or right) and the bad (or wrong). Ask the Lord to show you His will.

May God be with you.

Here are two papers on divorce by John Piper. They are long but good.

http://www.desiringgod.org/library/topics/divorce_remarriage/div_rem_paper.html

This one is called "On Divorce and Remarriage in the Case of Adultery". It is shorter and is from a sermon he did.

http://www.desiringgod.org/library/topics/divorce_remarriage/dr_adultery.html

One more: http://www.desiringgod.org/library/topics/divorce_remarriage/div_rem_bbc.html

I found Tony Evan's book online (it's an online book that you can read). Here is is: http://www.tonyevans.org/speakout/booklets/divorce.htm

Me again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> One last thing. I reread your question and think I might have totally answered wrong. It seems you are actually asking about your husband remarrying, not so much you? Sorry. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Well, no, I don't think he will be blessed in a remarriage. God can forgive him if he repents, but he will most likely always suffer various consequences. Adultery is a very consequential sin... there's alot of verses about it in the Bible. David, although he married Bathsehba, suffered consequences of his sin (adultery plus murdre) the rest of his life, including the death of his infant baby with Bathsheba and his unruly sons who also died and died violent deaths. The best thing your husband can do is to repent and stay married to you. This is something you can pray for if you are willing.

Well, I'll leave those sites. Maybe they'll help anyways.

God bless.

I was wondering about that a lot too. I had several people tell me that according to scriptures, as a former "adulterer" that I cannot remarry without comitting sin. It put me through much turmoil. I still haven't come to a conclusive personal decision.

But, here's a thread that resulted from my musings...Remarriage after divorce is not adultery or sin...beware, it attracted a fair bit of attention, and is 14 pages long!!

Hope it's helpful to you.

Jen

Dear Dancer,
I totally agree that you should pray about all of the advice you get. I was where you are at 8 yrs ago and I understand every emotion in your words. You are saying everything I said when it happened to me. I'm not here to confuse, but to hopefully clarify a few things for you. First we choose our actions, but God determines the consequences. But remember Jesus died on the cross to erase our sin in Gods eyes if we TRULY repent. David did sin and the prophet asked him what the consequences should be. David without realizing he was judging himself said that such a man should pay back four times what he stole. [Be careful what you say] And he did by loosing all four of his sons. His son also raped his sister and the oldest son even was ought to kill his father David. Ever heard " You reap what you sow ". But David did also TRULY repent and I feel God did bless his marriage to Bathsheba because of Solomon and several other sons who went on to be great leaders. Bathsheba also wrote alot of the book " The songs of Solomon. I don't think God would allow the books of Proverbs written by Solomon or Bathsheba's book to be in the bible if God still had it out for David's marriage.
Remember the woman at the well? When they were ready to stone her, Jesus said he who is without sin cast the first stone. Then he knelt down and wrote in the sand. But what did he write? Maybe it was our sins! Then he told the woman to go and sin no more. He set her free of the past and gave her another chance.
The whole issue here is not about what you hubby did. It's about you forgiving him. I say that with all sincerity. WE are COMMANDED to forgive those who trespass against us. YOU will determine alot of the consequences for BOTH of you by what you do in your heart.
You can choose to find him guilty and then be judged the same way or you can judge him forgiven and set him free and set your self free as well. You have a FREE WILL just like your ex. Speak the words of forgiveness and ask God to make your emotions follow. YOUR CHANGE will do more to restore your marriage than anything else. Trust me
It took me 3 and 1/2 yrs to forgive my ex, but I did and God made it real. God was really working on me. Thru this time I found a new me and I asked God to forgive my ex and to set her free to remarry and in doing so I set myself free to do the same. Now if it is Gods plan that we should remarry some day so be it. But I think God has a new gal waiting for me and I'm anxious to be with her. I will always love my ex and we have children together. Some of the consequences are organizing two homes. But it's a different love now. When we have family get togethers I am the person God wants me to be. In other words {I} don't take charge to punish her for her sin. If she has truly asked God to forgive her and HAS been forgiven, who would I be to keep punishing her. I'll let God do what He needs to do.
I have total peace and contentment that way.
I know this may not be what you want to here, but it will become real as time goes along. I will pray that God will here your heart.
In this time find out who you are and change the things you need to change. Are your actions and thoughts pleasing to God? When you do God will add a whole new dimension to your life.
I wish you well
Singleguy

Hi Dancer, You have been given some very good advice here. In my situation which is a lot like Lovemyex my wife just walked out. As fas as I know there has never been any adultry. She just claims emotional abuse (which in this sociality can mean anything from not answering back when asked a question to actual phyical abuse.) Well anyway the Bible is very clear that neither of us can remarry someone else with his blessing. As far as other reasons for divorce and remarriage, I and I repeat I believe that the Bible is saying to stay single. I am at work so I'm not sure of the referance but it says that we are to remain single or to remarry each other. By remaining single we may be the only path that will lead our spouse back to God thru our prayers for them. If you move on there may be nobody praying for them at all. Do I believe that God will bless your husband if he remarries? No I do not! At least not until he makes everything right with God; which, also includes making everything right with you. On the radio program turingpoint for the past couple of weeks they have been covering this topic quite well. This would be another great resource for you to learn from Smiaj
http://www.oneplace.com/Ministries/Turning_Point/Default.asp

Singleguy,

Thanks so much for telling about David and Bathsheba. This subject came up on another thread
about God not blessing a marriage that came out of adultry.I wanted to share David's story but didn't have time to post then. I was just getting ready to post about it when I read your post.

God did bless David's marriage to Bathsheba. Of course, there were consequences to David's sin. Not only did David commit adultry he had her husband sent to the front lines to be killed. All this and David was a man after God's own heart. Jesus was even born from their son Solomon's line.
I believe this story tells us several things.

Most important it tells us we ALL mess up. We mess up and GOD is still there and blesses us when we repent from the heart. It also tells us that God forgives all sins. It shows us that GOd is bigger than any of our stuff.

Dancer,

You have been given some good advise. The most important thing you must do is as David did, go to God with this. He is the ONLY one that can give you the answer you seek. He will . Just wait and listen and discern His word.

Gentle

Hi all, let me jump in here. I love what Single Guy and Gentle have said.
Allow me to add a few of my own points.

I think sometimes we underestimate the power of what the forgiveness of
Jesus, through His shed blood, can do for the believer.

The thread is titled "Can an adulterer remarry another woman and find God's
blessing?"

I think the point here is have we TRULY repented. If so, then does God see
"us" as an "adulteress"? I am sure we have all stolen something (even if it was a
candy bar or another child's toy when we were young) or lied, or cheated,
and on and on. Does God look at us when we have repented and say "there
is Diamonzzz, she's an adulterer, or she's a liar .." I don't think He does. If that
were the case, then the blood of Jesus would be ineffective to cleanse us from
ALL sin. We would be destined to walk around as theives and adulterers and
liars with no hope of ever removing that "title".

I believe if we have truly repented, and sought God with all our hearts, we are
clean and pure and given a pardon with the chance to start over.

Consequences? Oh yeah, as in the case of David, there are most certainly
consequences to all our actions and responses in life.

I am one that has experienced the mercy and forgiveness of God and I know
that is it possible for all. I myself have not committed adultery, nor my ex,
but we have sinned by divorcing. However, I have remarried a wonderful Christian
man and I have seen nothing but God's favor and blessing upon us, our families,
and our marriage.

It is all about a relationship with Jesus and coming to Him with a pure and sincere heart
and asking HIM, what His will is for your life. Even if you have walked totally off the
path, today is a new day, and He will pick you up and start you on the right path from this minute on.

I hate it when other Christian's disqualify people from happiness, and tell them God
can't forgive them for one mistake they have made in life. Granted, divorce and especially adultery
has huge reproductions, but we serve a HUGE God and HE not only has the power
to forgive sins, but I believe He is willing. All we have to do is come.

Blessings all,
Diamonzzz

<small>[ August 07, 2003, 10:56 AM: Message edited by: Diamonzzz ]</small>

I believe Diamonzz is right on, and that was one of the best posts I have ever read! She has the compassionate heart that every Christian should have. It is about relationship with Jesus and not about rules or religion. I have been looking a lot at 1 Corinthians 6 about fornicators, adulterers, thieves, etc shall not inherit the kingdom of God, but this is what you once WERE, and now you have been sanctified and washed by the Spirit. I was the BS but I believe that if my ex -wh were to repent and turn from his sin that he would no longer be labeled an "adulterer". He would be cleansed of that sin and be able to move on. There are consequences to every sin, little or big, but we can be freed because we are believers in Christ. I had sex with my husband before we got married, but I don't consider myself an unforgiven fornicator. Is there a difference in an adulterer who repents? I don't think so. If he continues to commit adultery and he does not repent and turn to God and he marries OW in this manner, then I am not sure God would bless their marriage because he isn't seeking God's will. But I am not God. I don't know ex-WH's heart. I only know my heart. I know that I have a relationship with Christ and I know that I am sorry for my sins and want to walk in His spirit and not in my desires. Basically we as Christians are called to minister to others and to judge sin (getting the speckle out of our own eye first!!) but not the sinner. God will judge, and I believe that we all need to spend more time in prayer about our lives and less time worrying about what others will think of us.

Jesus said that if we have broken one commandment, we have broken them all. Meaning we are all liars, murderers,adulterers, etc. That means it's not about the sin itself, it's about the broken relationship with Jesus. That is what needs to be fixed. But genuine repentence and being washed by the blood makes us pure and clean before God again. Please be careful that God overlooks the adultery and punishes the accuser for judgement. That is sin too and has CONSEQUENCES. Remember, judge not lest ye be judged. What can wash away my sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
I have full faith that my next marriage will be blessed and I thank God right now for it.
Please remember the bible is not a weapon, but an ongoing love story about God's never ending love for us.
For God so loved the world.........
singleguy

Dancer, I have struggled with similar thoughts. Until a few months ago, I believed that the only options available to me were singleness or reconciliation. Although my wife deserted me, she had certainly professed to be a Christian (and had talked and acted like one for many years), so Paul's exception clause seemed to be inapplicable. I had pretty good reason to believe that there was no adultery involved, so Jesus's exception clause seemed to be inapplicable as well. Furthermore, I loved my (ex-)wife (and still do). I could not bear the thought that she might one day realize what she had done, repent, and want to come back - only to find me married to someone else.

To some extent, these considerations were purely academic. Being a romantic idealist, I did not see how I could ever consider marrying someone who I did not prefer to my ex-wife in every way, lest I find myself comparing my new wife unfavorably with my ex-wife and thus be unable to give myself wholeheartedly to my new wife. This seemed to be an insurmountable obstacle since, despite my ex-wife's emotional problems and dysfunctions, she was a very special woman, compatible with me in every important way, and complementary in many other equally important ways. If she had been willing to face her inner demons, our marriage would have been...well...never mind. The bottom line is, she would be a tough act to follow. And I had never even met any other woman whom I was - or thought I could be - seriously interested in, let alone one who could measure up to my ex-wife's potential.

Then God whapped me on the back of the head with a monkey wrench. Through a series of odd coincidences, I found my attention drawn to a particular young (and unattached) woman who...well, let's just say that I have tried for months to find something - anything - about her that doesn't blow my socks off, and thus far I have failed. Although the woman in question is not interested in anything more than friendship, I nevertheless felt like God was trying to tell me something. At the very least, the situation got me to thinking...

I had never actually done a careful Biblical study of the divorce and remarriage issue. I had just assumed that what I had always been taught in church was accurate. However, when I collected and read a number of books on the subject, I discovered that by and large the quality of scholarship ranged from unimpressive to appalling. Some authors evaded the tough applications. Others based their arguments on demonstrably false assertions. The biggest problem was a near-universal failure to come up with a cohesive position that would answer such troubling questions as why the exception clauses given by Jesus and Paul are entirely different, and why the Gospels differ in their application of Jesus's exception clause.

Fortunately, however, one of the books I read covered everything, and did it superbly: Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible: The Social and Literary Context. I'm not going to try to recap that very thorough work here, but I will say it convinced me that I was really divorced and thus free to remarry. For me to cling to my no-longer-a-marriage in order to protect my ex-wife from the consequences of her own choices would be to tie God's hands. Only God knows whether my ex-wife will ever repent, and only God knows what's best for her and for me. Therefore, only God can really answer the question of whether or not I should remarry.

He hasn't given me that answer yet, but I am trying to keep an open heart and mind.

The real problem for me right now, emotionally, is that I have gone from having a clear path in life (remain single until and unless reconciliation occurs), to finding myself caught in a situation where every imaginable future appears impossible. Reconciliation with my ex-wife has become unpalatable now that I have met a woman who seems to be a far better match. But, the woman who seems to be a far better match isn't interested in pursuing a relationship with me. Finding yet another woman has become even more unimaginable given that the bar has been raised far higher even than it was when my ex-wife was the only standard. Yet, if I am destined to remain single for the rest of my life, then why the heck did God bother pointing out all this stuff out to me!

It's quite an interesting problem.

I'm glad it's God who's responsible for solving it, and not me.

Wow I should spend more time on the divorced board (I am usually on the EN Board)

GnomeDePlume I enjoyed your post SO much. Wow .. I wish I could communicate effectively how much your particular post ministered to me today.

I want to be careful to leave YOU with something that might encourage you too, but
for sure, I was meant to read this for myself today.

First of all, YOU could be my ex. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> (your not are you? LOL) I was the Christian
wife that left a 20 year marriage. I am not saying that my ex didn't have his
"demons" too, he had plenty. But it is only looking back through many sleepless nights
and tears, that I am able to admit my own wrong doings. I see now where we
BOTH went wrong, and I am able today, to see where I contributed to the breakup of our marriage.

When I first left, I thought it was ALL him, and very little me. (it's also been just over 3.5 years now)
My ex was so immature that it was easy for people to find fault in and let's just say
I had a lot of support in my decision to leave him. (having no food in our home
MOST days for starters) However, having no food in your home and immaturity, etc, is not
Biblical grounds for divorce. I left my ex and I can honestly say that I did it with
no malice. I just simply gave up trying. I felt for many years that I was not just
raising 2 children, but 3. I felt I just couldn't be his mommy anymore.

I have since made my peace with God over it all, but to this day, my ex has not
moved on with his life. Sometimes I wonder if he was/is also waiting for me to come "home", even thought I remarried last summer. I feel a tremendous guilt at times over this. My life has honestly gotten SOO much better, his has gotten worse.

He told me a few months back that he will NEVER remarry. In his words,
he said: "I loved once, that's enough". He also told me that God would have to LITERALLY place the woman in front of his face .. well, apparently from what I gather from YOUR post here, God is STILL able to do JUST that .. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I take heart with your post GDP, because I know that God can also bring
him a fresh start. In many ways this man has clung to me as some sort of
angel (and yeah I DID rescue him out of one or two life jams and I WAS
a good wife) but I know that God could bring him someone along that he could be better suited to.

Believe it or not, I hurt for the man. I have prayed for him. I want the very best
for him and nothing would please me more than to see him move on in his life,
and maybe remarry himself. I am hoping that my motives are not to just appease
my own guilt, but at this point I DO believe I want his happiness.

I guess my point here is that the God I know, is a God of restoration and hope.
Sure we all make mistakes and we are accountable for them. We do need to
take divorce and remarriage quite seriously and we need to make sure we have
sought the Lord on these decisions. But, I think God is able to do beyond what we
ever imagined.

Many times divorce is likened to a death and I would definitively agree with that.
I would imagine more than one widower has said they would NEVER find love again,
after they lose a mate, but indeed, most will!

GDP I am excited for you! You are in the very best place possible. Right where
the Lord wants you. Keep us posted because I am certain we are going to be hearing
some fantastic reports of what God is doing in your life.

He's got a plan and I have a feeling its waaaay better than you ever imagined.
As long as you let Him do the choosing, you won't be disappointed!!!

Blessings,
Diamonzzz

<small>[ August 07, 2003, 04:32 PM: Message edited by: Diamonzzz ]</small>

Does God bless an adulterer who remarries? No. How could he? He only blesses people who obey him.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Diamonzzz:
<strong> I think the point here is have we TRULY repented.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is not to pick on one individual but to address this common question. So what does truly repented mean? To turn away from your sin. An adulterer who remarries is in a constant state of sin. So how do you repent from that? I think we all know the answer and we are unwilling to accept it.
In Matthew 19:10, the disciples are so confounded with Jesus on this issue they emphatically state, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." If you cannot remain with your first spouse for a lifetime, don't even bother getting married a second time. Only death breaks the covenant.
What makes anyone think that second marriages are accepted/blessed by God? Only if the first marriage was broken thru adulery or abandonment.

I do not want to get into a theological discussion on marriage builders but I HAD
to respond to this. This will probably be the last one for this thread tho .. I really
do not think a MB is an appropriate place to "discuss" this stuff.

OKIEMAN:
This the view that many Christians take. That a person that remarries is in a perpetual
state of sin. An adulterer for life. I do not believe this. (obviously)

I am trusting in the finished work of the cross, the shed blood of Jesus for sin, and
my relationship with Jesus to save me from sin, ALL sin.

If you are trusting in anything (even good works) to get you in right standing with God,
your trust and faith is in the wrong place.

I assume that you believe that unless a person DOES something tangible to "prove"
to God that he is sorry (repented) then and only then God can forgive Him/Her and take
the "Scarlet Letter" off his chest, so to speak.

I am saying that it is a heart attitude that determines whether or not you have TRULY
repented. David is an example. He did horrible things (obviously you know the story)
and yet he repented and God forgave. He didn't dump his new wife Bathsheba to
prove that he was repentant. He made a huge mistake and he owned it and was sorry
and regretted the decisions he had made. The Bible doesn't say it, but I believe what
hurt David more than anything, was the fact that he had hurt God. I know to a measure
how David must have felt. I regret my divorce and I hurt over it so much when I think
about all that were hurt, and ESPECIALLY how I hurt God. Some days the pain of that
overwhelmed me. Obviously God blessed the rest of David's life with Bathsheba although we KNOW he had big time consequences to face. Don't confuse consequences to own, with the blessing of God. I can be bless my children but it doesn't mean that I won't discipline their actions. They are blessed, they are secure in my love, but they are also gonna have some consquences to their actions if they should need them.

Every sin is the same in God's eyes. From OUR point of view some sins are "worse"
than others (i.e. murder, adultery), but ALL sin from little, to big, is black and God can NOT look at it.

We cannot ease human error, sin, and failings, by our own attempts. Even if we were to
remain single, miserably and (tempted by lust.. cause yeah that is the life YOU are advocating
for them) it would not appease the sin. Only the blood of Jesus can wash that away and that
can only happen when there is a sincere repentant heart. Once the heart has cried out in regret and sincerity they are forgiven IMO and free to remarry ONLY if that is the will of God for their lives. God STILL has the choice here. This doesn't negate God's Lordship over us. I can repent and have God forgive me, but I must be willing to do what HE tells me to do. For some, going back to the original mate is not A/ possible
B/advisable
so again, it is up to God. If HE forgives then you are not married anymore... you are not
in a perpetual state of adultry if you remarry.

IF you have an affair and you DON'T repent .. then yes, I would have to agree with you, that you are in a perpetual state of adultry and you haven't dealt with that.. but the MINUTE you do, you are free and forgiven. However, if you are already remarried, I believe you need to stay put in this new marriage.

Sometimes we even do things we KNOW are wrong, willfully, (as Paul said, "I do the things
I don't want to do, ....."), and you have GOT to know what I mean here??! And yet, STILL the Father is there willing to pick us up and forgive us.

You are placing the sin of adultery higher than any other sin and making requirements for people
that I don't believe God ever intended.

We ALL sin, and if we say we don't the Bible calls us a liar. We are ALL in a perpetual sin
(potential for anyway) of one kind or another. We are perpetually selfish, perpetually unkind,
we even murder our brothers and sisters by our mouths.

Have you got every single part of your life PERFECT? With no black areas? No bad habits? No bad attitudes?
If so, then disregard my words because you don't need a Saviour, you have your own remedy for sin, and it's just to "be good enough".

Me, and many like me however, NEED a Saviour. And trust me, I need Him EVERY DAY.

One really precious thing I heard lately was that "grace runs downhill". I loved that when I heard it.

If you have ever been someone that needed the mercy and the grace and the forgiveness of God
when you COULDN'T make anything right that you'd made a big mess of, and you heard the Father
gently say; "Child, you are forgiven, now go and sin no more", then you know what I am
talking about.

I am not perfect, but I am perfect in Christ Jesus. I do not trust in any of my own abilities ... I only trust in Him.

Anyway, sorry I went on and on but I am passionate about this and I am always happy to give people a reason to hope and to go on.

I will never stop telling anyone willing to listen about how the Lord has forgiven me and given me a pardon and how He'll do it for anyone that asks.

Blessings,
Diamonzzz

To Diamonzzz -

I don't make the news, I just report it. The position I took is not mine. It is Christ's.
I am not sure your statements/positions can be supported through any scripture.
Here is the BIG question while we are on second marriages. IF SECOND MARRIAGES ARE BLESSED BY GOD, THEN HOW ABOUT THIRD, FOURTH, FIFTH, SIXTH, ETC, MARRIAGES? Where does it end?

Just curious, what about when a believer, such as myself and a non-believer marry. My ex-husband was bapitized but he does not consider himself Christian nor does he believe JC is our savior.

So what are the rules for me and marriage? I mean he (ex-H) abandoned me and is engaged to OW now? What about that .... am I futureless regarding a Christian marriage in God's eyes?

Jo

Okieman: I said I wouldn't get into a theological debate here with you and
I won't (at least I'll try real hard not to, sometimes it's hard not to just want to add onnnne more thing, lol)

Okieman Said: "Here is the BIG question while we are on second marriages. IF SECOND MARRIAGES ARE BLESSED BY GOD, THEN HOW ABOUT THIRD, FOURTH, FIFTH, SIXTH, ETC, MARRIAGES? Where does it end?"

Well, it doesn't! It just never does. Grace extends forever and ever and ever. That is what unmerited, undeserved, grace does. It extends to those who call upon it. Yes, 7 x's 77 A DAY! If need be.

But .. here's the "downside" of this. So do the consequences of sin. They ALSO extend. We DO reap what we sow, good or bad. With every new marriage you have now taken on a new set of problems. You can't tell me after 2 and 3 and 4 marriages that you are not devestated by them. It is just not possible to walk through
all that horror and not be scared.

I need to clarify something here that I think I may not have made plain. Divorce is sin. Now .. I am not gonna get into splitting hairs about WHO'S sin it is .. but suffice to say, that when a divorce takes place, there was sin. Most likely it was BOTH parties that hardened their hearts and allowed the marriage
to die and then the divorce just sealed the deal. By the time the papers are signed the actual divorce only declared to the whole world, what had been happening behind closed doors, sometimes for years!

I am not saying that sin is "ok" ... or that God winks at it .. God forbid that any Christian should advocate it under any circumstances. I say, stay in the marriage you are in and heal that one.

My only point here is that I believe God has the remedy for sin, ANY sin and I believe that NO sin
is unforgivable. For those who HAVE already divorced and done their very best to try to make it right, but still failed, I believe there is forgiveness and with that, a chance to marry again.

I am NOT advocating that you just premeditatedly sin .. I am saying if you have, God has a remedy
for it. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness".

Consequences however are a whole other kettle of fish. And I believe the more marriages, the more
consequences we bring on ourselves. It was NEVER God's intention for 2nd marriage!
"One life, one wife" -is what we say. But, we are in a fallen world and we make mistakes and we blow it. God is a good God and a merciful God. He does forgive. We just have to ask Him.

Resilient: I don't feel qualified to answer your question except to say that both your ex AND yourself will be forgiven for BOTH your parts in the demise of the marriage, if you ask. As far as if you are free to marry? Well, I would say this. Because that ex of yours is not yet remarried, I would not
be in any hurry to remarry myself. God can STILL do a miracle and restore you two and it is not
over till it's over. Now I realize that HE broke your marriage vows when he chose to cheat on you, but ...... (and remember I don't know ANY of your story so I might just
be talking out of my .. well, you know what .. LOL) ...you probably still have regrets and you realize that part YOU played in it.. hindsight is 20-20.

The reality is that if you have been devastated by this, you are probably not in a place where you
would be ready to move on and remarry anyway. God looks at the heart. One of things that God
looks for is a willingness to do His will. If you have done everything YOU know to do and you are
willing to let God do a miracle here, and STILL he remarries and moves on, then I believe you are
also free to move on. But the Bible has strong warnings about not marrying a non-believer.
If you are a believer, I would not even consider a non-believer this time, because as you know,
you two will just not be on the same page.

Whatever you choose, make sure you do lots of praying and then put yourself in the hands of a
loving God because that is the very best place to be. He has only good in store for you and you
can trust Him.

"Futureless"??? You? Hardly! Your future is bright.. if you stick with God! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Blessings,
Diamonzzz

Diamonzzz,
You are right on. Your last post will minister to alot of hurting people. I TOTALLY agree with you and your heart speaks your repentive spirit. You are no longer bound by your sin. I, for your sake want you to know I forgive you, not because you did anything to me. But because I have needed to be forgiven too. God, forgive us all.
Okieman,
Repentence is much more than just turning away from sin. Many so called christians turn from sin, but never truly repent. It's when you truly realize that you have seperated yourself from God, that you have displeased Him with your actions, and you know and feel the pain of that broken relationship and you hunger for his forgiveness and go to him and ask for it, even beg your so forlorn. That's why King David first said, " Lord I have sinned against You ". It was no longer about what King David did, It was about the broken relationship. That's why Jesus said " If you've broken one commandment, You've broken them all ". That makes us all adulterers,etc., if you use "HIS " words. God was trying to clarify it's not the sin, but the relationship.It's not about the number of marriages. No, God does not like adultery and punishes for it. But He also will forgive it and erase it from our record if we ask. Somewhere you've been hurt by divorce and I pray that God will help you to heal.
Resilient,
A lot of detail is left out, but I would urge you to ask God where you failed and ask Him to forgive you of it. You should also ask God to reveal things you are not aware of and to help you do or not do them again. Be sure to forgive your ex and ask for God's forgiveness and then yes, you can marry again. One thing you should now do is marry a PROVEN christian.
singleguy

Singleguy: Thank you, I receive that forgiveness. I didn't owe you it to you but somehow when another brother in the Lord acknowledges you, and ALSO forgives as the Lord has, it causes even more healing and restoration in you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> You have obviously needed this yourself or you wouldn't have felt the need to extend it here. When we are the body of Christ and one person sins and then acknowledges it and then the rest of the body forgives and welcomes that believer "back" I believe our Father smiles. Just like when our own kids "kiss and make up". Nothing warms your heart more than when there is a unity.

Having said that, I believe nothing grieves the Father more than when there is a disunity and
brokenness among His kids. That is why He hates divorce. He hates it because of the
broken covenant. Not because He has some abjuratory law that pleasures Him if we keep.

Okieman: I assume you know your Bible some? Well, in the New Testament Jesus
made the statement that He came not to abolish the law, but to fulfill it. He was always
being challenged by the Sadducees and the Pharisees on one thing or another.
Somehow the disciples were just not getting it. They would constantly ask him about
His laws and continuously Jesus was showing by His actions, the true heart of God.
The scripture says "the letter of the law kills, the spirit gives life".

Over and over again Jesus would display mercy .. (the woman caught in adultery comes to
mind) and over and over again the Pharisees didn't like it.

I believe that when you honestly seek the Lord, through prayer and read the word, not
just to prove your already preconceived doctrine (that you were most likely force-feed in
church) you will see that God is more concerned with a living, and thriving every day
relationship and dependency upon Him then he is about us keeping the "rules". In fact, as we turn our powerlessness to keep the law over to Him, we find ourselves actually being given the strength by Him, to do what we need to. The truth is we all by human nature THINK
we can be our own Saviors.

Sometimes we think that keeping all the laws of God, we can somehow win the favor
of God and we'll make it. The problem with that is just what Singleguy has said
If we break even ONE of them, Jesus said we have broken them all. I have broken one, and two and a hundred and each and every time the Savior has
forgiven me.

I am challenging you to open your heart, just a little and re-examine this further.
I hope I am not being disrespectful in anyway, but I had to do that myself. I was
not aware of all the hurt and bitterness that was in my own life that caused me to judge. In fact I honestly thought I was COMPLETELY right in this. I was previously
married for 21 years. I was in a Christian marriage and I judged people who got a
divorce, and remarried, all the time. I would use the same wording you have used here
and just pound people with the same words over and over again, without being willing
to discuss things any further. I was unaware of my REAL motives. I knew all the scriptures on divorce and remarriage and I could outquote ANYONE under the table, but I see now, my love had gone cold for the Lord. I was following a set of rules, not a living, breathing Saviour.

God got a hold of me and totally changed me. He broke me and rearranged all the pieces.

Today, I am divorced, remarried and definitely by some church's standards... a mess up ..
but .... in God's eyes I am pure and clean and whole.

I am just asking that you open up that heart of yours a little bit .. ok?

Blessings,
Diamonzzz