I am so sick and tired of him making promises to my kids and then just blowing them off.

DD is supposed to register for school today...she asked him early in the week if he could take her. Sure, he says. No problem. She discovered yesterday that his cell phone is disconnected and he has no home phone and guess what? Oh, come on. You already know. He's a big, fat no-show this morning.

So I now have to take emergency time off work and take her. My h would take her but he happens to be at school himself this morning.

I just don't understand why it's illegal to shoot an ex. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

So as I'm walking in the door he's on the phone making his pathetic excuses!! I screamed for dd to get off the phone, we had to roll.

Late last night, he came over to tt dd...seems he got himself engaged. I hope he treats *HER* dd better than he does mine. They are the same age (the girls) and so help me God, if he goes to *that* girl's school functions, etc, while he ditches out on my kid...there's gonna be hell to pay!

<small>[ August 09, 2003, 01:35 PM: Message edited by: franklymydears ]</small>

I just don't understand why it's illegal to shoot an ex

I've been there many times myself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Justifiable X-icide! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I know it doesn't help. But I've thought this should be allowed - thought it for quite a while.

boy can I relate. Luckily my kids are young enough they don't quite get they are being blown off. It won't be long though... no more than 6 months and my older will probably realize what's going on.

I often wondered why we can drive over them.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by franklymydears:
<strong>

I just don't understand why it's illegal to shoot an ex. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You do mine, I'll do yours. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

My H's OW has contacted my son's school to find out bus schedule information. So I say shoot the whores who try to act as though sleeping with a man gives them rights to his children.

Ditto to what Linda said.

Yes it seems my x's ow thinks she is all that and can act like the great little mama to my children NOT!!!!!!
it was 6 yrs ago but still her influences are around my girls and I HATE it. I can only hope and pray that my girls don't get influenced by her

<small>[ August 08, 2003, 02:59 PM: Message edited by: Purpleroses ]</small>

btt for more commiseration!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Down in Tesas where the smart people are, there was, I believe, a woman who did drive over her h or her xh. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I don't know that killing them is good enough. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I vote for something more painful. Like total body tweezing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> And, since regrowth is so nasty, it would probably have to be kept up for life. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Just the thought of my x having to have his armpits tweezed gives me a smile. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Purpleroses:
<strong>Yes it seems my x's ow thinks she is all that and can act like the great little mama to my children NOT!!!!!!
it was 6 yrs ago but still her influences are around my girls and I HATE it. I can only hope and pray that my girls don't get influenced by her</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">sufdb....If it makes you feel any better the primary influences of human behaviour are the following (in order of significance).

1. Your genetic heritage. 60%

2. Your peer group. 30%

3. Your parents. 10%

Parents contribute (under IDEAL circumstances) only about 10% of the influences that underlie our adult childrens behaviour. I have to guess a step-parent is even less. Most of our behavioural instincts are in place at birth. Parents cannot create a serial killer, nor can they create a mother theresa. They can contibute to some confusion, and gross mistreatement or negligence will need psychotherapy to heal, but the child can and will heal....however, they cannot change who they are. The most important thing parents do is exert control/guidance over who their childrens peer group is.

<small>[ August 09, 2003, 09:45 PM: Message edited by: sufdb ]</small>

That is complete CRAP sufdb.

Where did you get that garbage? Don't spout 'information' that has no backing as some sort of fact. And if you do have backing, I would be glad to tear it to shreads.

And if there is a response to this... the first thing I would like you to explain is the test that shows how genetics has caused a person to kill another or to cheat on his/her ex? To get a job versus steal?

I was a psychologist before I went to medical school, not that it makes a whit of difference. But I know the limitations of our ability to 'EXPLAIN' why anyone does anything. And I can DAMN well tell you that anyone that pretends to put a percentage of what or who does what, is touting an opinion rather than fact.

My OPINION is that information like this is used by those who wish to believe or make others believe that there is no responsibility by the parents or the person. I know that is not what you are saying... at least not entirely. However, if 60% of me is because of a few sequenced amino acids are in a certain order, I really doubt that over the course of 'our' modern lives (human existence) that a gene has developed to keep me honest when my choice in a partner was completely dishonest. To live up to my vow when her vows mean nothing to her.

Or are you saying it is because of my highschool teammates. Or perhaps her roommate in college. Maybe it is because instead of getting wings in the 'genetic roundup' I rolled the dice and got a sense of self pride, Does that one come before or after heart disease? I can never remember...

<small>[ August 09, 2003, 11:58 PM: Message edited by: Formerly Confused ]</small>

Do your own research, I would normally be happy to share the wide rangeing reading I do, but you don't deserve such a response. For clarification (to any OTHER interested parties), this is not my opinion, but the results of published research s I have read, I simply pass it on, do with it as you will...... (in numerous places for your information FC, why you are unaware given your profession seems rather odd, perhaps you are unaware of the nurture/nature debates and multitude of published research on these issues.

And you bet, amino acids and exactly how they are arranged are very important in a variety of ways, including defining ones basic psychology, that seems obvious even without research....what do you think humans are anyways, blank slates, computers waiting to be programmed...sheesh.

btw, the percentages are just to help establish the relative importance of each mechanism on defining our behavioural patterns, taking someone to task for that obvious strategem seems rather anal, get a life. Is there any intelligent human being (meaning one who has a brain, and knows how to use it) who doesn't realize there is no such thing as a "perfect" statistic?, realizing that statistics only show trends, probabilities, ordering, etc.

Jeez FC, here I am minding my own business, passing on some general information I happen to read about, in an innocuous thread of no great importance in the middle of a saturday night, and I get jumped by a crazy man, is the moon full or what to night. You have managed to pi** me off FC, something difficult to do, congratulations.

<small>[ August 10, 2003, 12:44 AM: Message edited by: sufdb ]</small>

Wide range of reading can be done at the checkout counter at the supermarket. You can read 30 separate magazine covers and at least 3 soap opera updates in the course of buying $100 worth of groceries. Even at today's prices. Stating you are well read is meaningless. And I couldn't care less if you read alot, if what you read is also meaningless. A person can read The National Enquirer from dusk til dawn... that doesn't mean they have a better understanding about aliens or 'the latest research' just the latest gossip about Elvis and Michael Jackson...

There has NEVER been a single case in which a 'behavior' has been attributed to a genetic finding. My best friend's wife is a pediatric geneticist and we have discussed this ad nauseum. The closest that has ever been attributed was XYY in causing aggression. But then again, that has never been proven, nor do the statistics even uphold that position.

I am not stating medical illnesses. I am stating a BEHAVIOR. I cannot research that which does not exist. Sure I know all about the nature/nurture debate... That is what it is a Debate. Peoples opinions about what they believe to be true. Usually, people who hold these sorts of beliefs are ready to show WHY they believe the way they do. It is usually those who refuse to explain that are easily flushed out as frauds.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> And you bet, amino acids and exactly how they are arranged are very important in a variety of ways, including defining ones basic psychology, that seems obvious even without research....what do you think humans are anyways, blank slates, computers waiting to be programmed...sheesh. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What the heck are you talking about?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Seems obvious even without research... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I will bet you that you give me your perfect genetic person... and I have had patients with parents whose "10%" could screw that 'perfect person' up. "Seems obvious even without research..."

I am not saying that a person is not predisposed to certain traits. I am sure that there are things that we are likely to do perhaps more because our physiology allows us to be that way. ie... some people learn certain things easier than others. Is that because he was born with a 'guitar' gene and she with a 'accountant' gene? Or perhaps it is the way our bodies are 'hooked' up that allow us to find things that we are good at. A hugely muscled man is more likely to use that muscle in some way that gains him something, ie he might become more physical. Where a very small woman is less likely to shove people around at the bar. Is that because he got the 'aggressive gene' and she the 'lets talk about it' gene? Or is it more likely that he has been rewarded in some way for his aggression and 'gained' from it, where obviously she is going to have a much harder time physically gaining, therefore she has adapted other mechanisms in order for her to gain.

I can prove that a man's behavior can be changed by taking away his rewards or punishing his behavior.

What I think is that in all likelihood, your 'percentages' are completely backwards. I am sure that genetics plays some roll in our psychological lives. I don't know what it is, but I would be a fool to think otherwise. But I would also be a fool to attribute a person's behavior to genetics, when such obvious destruction is had by poor upbringing.

Or perhaps you are saying that everyone with poor genetics gets a double whammy and gets poor parents as well. Now that would at least be something...

<small>[ August 10, 2003, 01:08 AM: Message edited by: Formerly Confused ]</small>

I have no idea what you are getting at (what is your point anyways, genetics don't count? you can prove that of course <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ), and no interest (or need) in defending anything (since it isn't my findings, opinions, or research). But I will say you need to read things other than the national enquirer, and other checkout items you referenced, there is a lot of good literature out there, do a search at yahoo, you will find plenty of legitimate authors writing on these subjects.

If you two were my children, I would send you to a joint time out on the couch. Neither of you could get up without the permission of the other. And you have to get up at the same time.

(Child A must sit there until child B can get up. And vice versa. POJA it.)

I think I detect a large dose of mutual disrespect between you to. Neither of you is behaving worse than the other. Or worse than my neighbor's 4 year old.

You are correct Cin.

I apologize. I do tend to get a bit hot when misinformation is being given as fact, and I fell into my own lowness...

heh heh heh... sufdb... can I get you a glass of lemonade??? I will if you tell me I can get up to get it for you...

<small>[ August 10, 2003, 01:27 AM: Message edited by: Formerly Confused ]</small>

Good try but it doesn't work that way. If you get up sufdb gets up to. Are you willing to let suf off the couch? If so, you may both have some lemonade.

hey go for it, I love lemonade.

fine, ok, here is ONE of the books which talks a great deal about behaviour, and makes no bones about which side of the nature/nurture debate they are on, and the credentials are impressive, but what do I know, I am only 4 yo <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .

http://www.mit.edu/~pinker/htmw.html

hint.... make note of the MIT in the url, gotta be a notch or two above enquirer.

<small>[ August 10, 2003, 02:01 AM: Message edited by: sufdb ]</small>

Cinderella you must be a great mom...
Sure wish you had been around during my D-Day, we both could have used your common sense... neither of us sure used any. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

<small>[ August 10, 2003, 01:59 AM: Message edited by: One_Day_At_A_Time ]</small>