I have had my doubts about the statistics about affair marriages, guess what they are right- ex H and OW- split- she left him - and in some way I feel like he got what he deserves- hope the 20 months was worth losing your wife, child and destroying your family. Should I feel guilty for feeling some kind of relief. Justice has been done. I feel goooooooooooood. hmm, so do you think he will come crawling, nah, his ego is to high up there!!!!!!

I hope they made each other's lives miserable...I'm sorry for what happened to you and your family but it must at least feel good that, yes, their relationship was crap.

Good luck to you.

most definitely, thanks! The whole time he tried to show me how happy he was, but at home they were having more problems than i can imagine, hmm, reality bites.

Romans 12:19

"Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is ritten, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord."

You reap what you sow.

Wow, 20months is a long time. I am a firm believer that a relationship founded upon infidelity, sin and mistrust will not work out. I know there are "the exceptions" but they are just that, the exceptions to the rule.

SO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow,

I hope that happens with my Ex....it would be interesting to see what would happen if he experienced even a 10th of what he has put us through. Pat

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I hope that happens with my Ex....it would be interesting to see what would happen if he experienced even a 10th of what he has put us through. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Heck I'd be happy if he just had 1/5 of the h!ll he has put me through.

Nezi---your subject caught my eye cause these are the words OW said in an e-mail to me about how she really did not know what would happen to WS and her relationship. She knew what goes around comes around but still did whatever felt good for her. EGADS

Isn't the break up of the such a fanatasy what we all live for???

Glad you got to see it.

TW

Ouch!!!!!!!!!
Wish that will be the truth for my exH.
But for now he seems happy, satisfied, in love with his new wife. Enjoying time with her and baby (1.5), more and more neglecting our daughters (21 and 13.5), earning more money than ever before, living full life like never before.
Unfortunately he is in obviously among those 0.0000001% of successfull affair marriages.
We'll see!
I only want that somewhere exists a man with whom I could make a new, better relationship and life.

D

betrayed and desparate,

You know, i don't know what will happen with your ex, however, i thought the same thing, that they were the rare affair marriages- ex h use to put it in my face, how happy he was with OW and -our daughter- etc, until this day he hasn't told me of their breakup- i heard thru the grapevine- that OW is back with her parents- and that she doesn't want him any more - etc. so you never know what happens- it may happen all of the sudden or 10 yrs for now- just put your life in the hands of GOD - let him take care of it - all you have to do is put it in prayer -

Thank you everyone on MB - you all help me survive all of this - now i feel so much relief! I know that my life is better now!!!!!!!!

Nezi, reading things like this makes me love the lord more and more, just prooves he has one whicked sense of humor.

I had words with my inlaws about them supporting their daughter while she was having a A, by taking her and the son into the house.

MIL made statements there must have been some problems in our M that led to the A, I agreed and stated that the last couple years were rough for me as I was depressed, I was diagnosed with cancer, ahd surgery and had the subsequent treatments, the W started her A while I was still in recovery.

MIL stated I used the cancer as a crutch. I asked her how she would feel if she had breast cancer, had her breast removed (she did have it prior and had scope type surgery), and HER H had a A while she was in recovery.

Found out last week, MIL now has cancer in both breasts, most likely have to be removed.

Be careful what you say folks, He is listening and might just call your card.

Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wrong. Your ex husband was most likely in training. When he settles down with the next gal, he will have learned and will be more happy than you could imagine, or would care to admit.

Hi Nezi,
Wow, that is really amazing about your X and OW splitting. Our timelines are somewhat similar. I found out about the affair in Feb. 2002, and X married OW in Dec. 2002 (before our divorce was final). Talk about FOG!!!! I often wonder if they are happy or not...but unfortunately i have NO way of finding out. They live about an hour and a half from us, and I don't know anyone that knows his new wife. She does seem like a pushy, very determined woman, so I would be interested in knowing how things are really going. Well, let us all know what your X does next. Do you think he will try to reconcile? Does it look like he's coming out of the fog?
I wonder what I would do if my X came back to me after all this time, and after all this hurt......
Talk to you later.
KK

Nezi, reading things like this makes me love the lord more and more, just prooves he has one whicked sense of humor

I don't think the Lord has a WICKED sense of humor, I think He has shown us over and over in the Bible, that we reap what we sow- and choices have consequences. That is why He hates adultery- because it causes so much pain that He never intended us to have.

Hi Nezi,

Sounds like your ex just learned one of life's lessons: A dog that will bring you a bone is also a dog that will take it away!

Dr. Harley wrote an article on this. The fact is that 85% of marriages that follow affairs end in their own divorce. What does that mean?

Simple. A person who will cheat with you is also a person who will cheat on you. You can't shine $*it!

It happened in our case too. My ex married her lover. Within a couple of years it turned physically abusive and they divorced. It wasn't something I could gloat over, she is still the mother of our children, and I wound up having to send her $2,500.00 to help her get away from him. Later I found out that she was cheating on him too; she took up with yet another married man. He started the process of divorce but died of kidney cancer before it was resolved.

One thing, I never did want her to come crawling back. What is done is done, we both had to move on. Our kids are raised and educated now, we have teenage grandchildren. I remarried last year and we are doing well. I just tell people my new bride is the best wife I ever had.

I hope what I did wasn't gloating, but I sure did get a sense of vindication and relief of any self doubt. What you are feeling is probably pretty normal.

Nezi, I dont think it's gloating in the least.

When our WS's entered into their relationships with the OP's, we all knew the ending of their A's but the were so wrapped up in it they could not see the light of day.

I am like you, right now all I can do is sit back and watch this bad soap opera play out, I already know the ending, I already paid the price of the ticket to watch this, and when the end does come I will be like you.

I also hope that she feels just 1/10th of the pain she has caused, even that minimal amount as to what we have experienced will be devestating to her.

Hi Nezi,

I have a good friend in who is the sweetest W a M could want, but after many years of marriage her self centered H started an affair, eventually left my friend and married OW. My heart broken friend asked her WH what she did wrong. He told her "You think too much" and the OW "makes me laugh"!

Only a few years later OW now makes him cry. My friend is ashamed because she get satisfaction from this, but I am happy for her. God is true to his word. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I too am waiting, almost obsessively, for my STBX to actually marry and then divorce the OW. But they have been carrying on their affair for almost 5 years, living together since 1/03, so I am worried they will "beat the odds," since it has been so long-term already.
But although I believe all that has been said, a voice inside keeps asking "If God does not bless unions created out of infidelity, then why does he wait after so much pain has ensued to secure 'justice'? Why doens't he 'do something' sooner, so more families could reunite?"

This is a great thread...

My x, Jethro, is carrying on with second OW, Ms. Family Values, the wacked out co dependent model featured in a publication (see earlier posts for link) that's practically unclothed.

He, Jethro also once bragged to me before the law stepped in for the restraining order against him, that "for once he was in a healthy relationship". I remember being sickened at the remark but almost laughing because I knew of their lies. Adultery is what it is. Plain n simple.

Well last month she calls me and informs me after a 2 hour phone call "she's left him and how he has been abusive to her off and on since last Dec. and learned more than I wanted to know". Oh...so much for the "healthy relationship" xH bragged of. She's already dumped him once after he isolated her from friends and family, probably cheated on her (heck he's only been divorced finally from me maybe 2 weeks), and been abusive verbally and physically.

But, alas. The stoopidity amazes me. She obviously has no concept of what separates man from animal as she took him back or else remembered why in the first place she chose to be a HOMEWRECKING GOLDDIGGER....He took her to my once favorite vacation spot in the Bahamas over the weekend. That was his modus operandii. ...To screw up and then fly me off somewhere and buy me a sparkly trinket.

Their A death is nearing and I will jump for joy. It will end either before or after a quickie marriage but will break up soon.