I'm sure some of you have been wondering where I have been, well it was'nt by design but eventually I got to a point where I was open for attention, compaionship, conversation, and dialogue with the opposite sex. I felt so magnetized to what I have not had that I could not resist. I know it is sad but this is it. Now my spouse is running after me in a number of ways but I don't want her to interfere. I am really seeing things that I have been so co-dependent about, I really don't need her to fight what is at work, she is following me at the place where I am getting my spiritual development, why come here? Why can't she go to any other place for spiritual food?(coming to my new church home)
I know you guys may feel like what's wrong with me, but I have seen enough of her to now wish to end it forever.

<small>[ September 17, 2003, 02:59 PM: Message edited by: psylocke ]</small>

psy,

Order is important. If you truely feel that you want to divorce your W, then do it. Then heal, and THEN start a new relationship. You are doing it backwards and it sounds as if you are having an affair. I don't recall the scriptures talking about who went first, but simply about the sin itself.

I suspect the idea was that "the she did it first" arguement was not going to be well received, so why even address it in the scriptures.

You are also not doing this lady any good, because you are still emotionally messed up by your W.

So stop and get the order right. File for divorce, AND THEN...

Finally, what has caused this change in your W? Has something happened to open her eyes? Or is this simply a jealous response? A few more details would be useful.

God Bless,

JL

Psy you are in the 'fog' just like your WW has been. Besides, if this woman is worth it, can't both of you wait until AFTER your divorce before you two get heavily involved with each other?

Dear psylocke:

I think I have to agree with what TooMuchCoffeeMan says about being in the fog. About a month ago in your post you said how much you wanted to not give up.

Have you been praying for your marriage like LoveMyEx had suggested?

Maybe your prayers are being answered, by your wifes recent interest in pursuing you.

Adultery is just satan trying to deceive you. Take comefort in the Lord, not in satan.

Don't give up, talk to the Lord and your wife about how to make things work and show each other unconditional love.

Gregg

Psylocke,
What are you doing in a relationship already??

I know your needs were not met by your wife, but you are being just as co-dependent running to someone else so soon.

Did your wife have an affair on you?

Does your wife still live with you. Were you the one that your wife was sleeping in another room?

Are you the one who is a Pastor?

Sorry, If I don't remember.

Ladysheep

Psylocke,

I have to pretty much agree with the other posts here. This seems like a little too much, way toooo fast. Might not be a bad idea to slow down a little.

Please, give yourself time, time to heal, time to understand. This sounds like a rebound romance.

It is all to common for folks in our position to go from one sick relationship right to the next. It isn't going to do you any good at all to replace one dependent relationship with another dependent relationship.

We really can't tell from your post what your spouse is thinking or why she is behaving the way she is. Maybe you and she should consider communicating with some professional help, or even your pastor.

As far as the new romance, well, if this is the real thing, it will still be a real thing after you have had time to get your life in order.

bump

You have a wife, work things out with her.
you are in foggie land...please get some councel from your minister. no wonder you don't want your wife at the same church as you do...because your living a lie..
pray and seek Gods help.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Gal 5:19-21)
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Do you truly love this new woman and not your wife? Are both of you able to wait until after a D to take things to another level?

This is something I fear myself, that during separation since my WW hasn't been fulfilling EN's I would look somewhere else and think I fell in Love with someone who could meet my EN's.

But what if during the process my WW wanted to reconcile? Would I be blocking God's intention of restoring my marriage? Then what would I do? Would I be hurting the new love more then loving her?

I pray you think this through before making something worse into a total disaster.

2 wrongs don't make a right.

Add to your confusion and pain. Don't add to what's already there. Work through it and either you and w will reconcile or not. But another woman won't give clarity, just doing the EN thing.

2 wrongs don't make a right.

Add to your confusion and pain. Don't add to what's already there. Work through it and either you and w will reconcile or not. But another woman won't give clarity, just doing the EN thing.

2 wrongs don't make a right.

Add to your confusion and pain. Don't add to what's already there. Work through it and either you and w will reconcile or not. But another woman won't give clarity, just doing the EN thing.

pyslocke,

Of course I agree with others. Especially if you are really co-dependent in the true meaning of the word. [Everyone should read what Dr. Harley has to say about this word. Most of the time, it’s used to mean anything and everything and is an excuse word.]

AND, I want to say how sorry I am that you were overcome by temptation. Even for those of us who know we are vulnerable, the temptation can sneak up and grab us. Occasionally, you’ll see a long-time poster who has got caught up in an EA or even a PA.

At this point, what I would suggest is a complete hiatus from both wife and mistress. Make that all women, just in case. Tell them both you’re doing a manly retreat from relationships until your head is screwed on. And give it enough time and distance so that you can truly evaluate your self and your marriage. Then, if you decide against your marriage, you can evaluate your other relationship.

One thing is clear, you owe your wife a clean answer, and you shouldn’t use the OW as a crutch to ending your marriage, which is what this sounds like.

Psylocke, Where are you??????