I wrote in another post the fact that almost half of my take-home pay goes to my STBXW. I know this is a small sum of money but it only leaves me about $800 per month to live on. Take away $105 for medication (more when insurance runs out) $80 for car insurance, $80 for gasoline. That leaves about $535 to live on per month. There is no way I am going to be able to find a 2-bedroom apartment so the kids can sleep over on that amount of money. After the divorce is final, I will have to pay an additional $250 per month for health insurance. So, I am supposed to live on a couple hundred dollars per month.

Has anyone else experienced this? (I'm sure there is) Have you had any luck getting state or town assistance? I am told I don't qualify for anything because I make too much money. My wife qualifies for all kinds of subsidies and with my child support payment, she makes more money than me. The child support doesn't count as income for her.

I would appreciate ANY insight into how I can get an apartment, buy groceries and pay for utilities with what I make.

Thanks for all your help.

YUP --- my ex doesn't pay CS - won't pay it --- sometimes $800 a month is a lot of money. My income varies - so I occasionally have lump sums to put on other bills, but there are many months when I feel good if I have that much in the bank.

Get another job - second job - on the weekends - that's what the rest of us do.

Jan

You probably have time now that youdon't know what to do with. Try to advance in your current possistion or get another part time job

In my state, the incomes of each are calculated with respect to the child support calculation. And you need to certify in court that you have enough remaining to live on. If you don't, discuss this with your lawyer. I know many people think their spouses spend the CS on themselves, but it costs alot to maintain one household, and even more for two households.
Seek assistance & advice in your area.

Have you spoken to your lawyer about this concern? What was his/her reaction? Also, is it possible to change your custody arrangement so that your support would be more financially equitable?

If she has primary custody of the kids, then it is probably reasonable that she would make more than you. I have seen 60%/40% breakdown in some people's distribution of salary after CS and alimony has been paid.

Either find another part time job for the evenings, weekends, or online opportunities AND/OR continue to seek out public assistance. Go to your county and municipality offices and ask about HUD limitations, programs for housing, etc.
Why can't you claim the child support outlay off your income? If you have a court order stating this is your payment, seems that you should be able to provide that order to the agencies that accept applications for financial help.

Here's another twist to the *financial problems*....

My ex is to pay child and spousal support to me. He does not. Enforcement actions have taken his drivers lic. away (doesn't matter really because a police office will NOT stop you unless your driving gives him reason to -- police don't hunt people down who don't have driver's lic.) I could tell you all the tricks and loopholes he's found to get OUT of paying his support and talk about what kind of parent...blah blah blah.

I WANT to get a second job so that we can LIVE decently instead of fighting from paycheque to paycheque. IF I do that, all SUPPORT is cut off. All my subsidies get cut off, and financially, my disposable income will be LESS. I'd have to move, renting a place at twice the cost, as well as pay for everything else. Getting a second job for me, would put me in a worse financial position than what I am doing now! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Maybe we can brainstorm for those of us that are in such a tight financial position so that we can at least enjoy our life a little. I for one found that community kitchens help out immensely when it comes to feeding the kids and yourself. Those dad's out there can also do this, even if they are just cooking for themselves. Least you won't be eating boxes of mac and cheese...and having decent *home cooking* AND meeting some new great people!

This is really just more fall-out from a broken family unit. It is sad.

Have you considered taking in a roommate? This person would share expenses, and take some of the pressure off you as far as household bills are concerned.

There are probably lots of other "non-custodial" parents out there in the same boat.

God Bless,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by sj *trouble*:

Get another job - second job - on the weekends - that's what the rest of us do.

Jan</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Problem is Jan, if his STBXW gets wind that he is making more money through a second job she can go back to court and have CS increased and he's going to be back in the same place.

Roger have you consulted with your attorney about seeking alimony from her? If she makes more money than you, and your State allows for alimony, it would certainly help you out financially if you could get the court to award it to you.

Many people take second jobs "under the table" doing lawn service, waitressing, odd jobs to make ends meet. If you get a w2, it can be used for CS. I don't advocate cheating your children, but folks must do what they need to do to survive.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
My X got a roommate - very weird, but claims that's the only way he can make it.