I was thinking about how we were posting which movies NOT to see when trying to repair your marriage. Then it occured to me that we should make a list of movies TO SEE.<P>If anyone's interested, I'll begin.<P>The movie "My Life" with Michael Keaton is great for female betrayers to watch. It's sad, because it deals with the death of a spouse. But it is beautiful, and when I was though watching it I turned to my husband and realized I was so grateful that he is alive and sitting here trying to make our marriage work with me.<P>Does anyone else have some favorites that strengthen marriage, or help rebuild?<BR>(Unlike the "Bridges")<P>

Gawd, I can't think about any movies like that... but frankly, I don't want to see ANY movie with people that are happily in love right at the moment... It should inspire me but right now it only reminds that I'm currently NOT very happy. <sigh><P>I usually turn to science-fiction when I'm bummed. Yeah! That's the ticket. No romance or love-triangles or crap like that! <P>--andy

Gee whiz andy... listen to me... yeah, the science fiction is fine, fluffy nothingness, but hey, to FEEL, just for a moment, is worth the pain, I think. You know that I'm at the tail end of withdrawl, and there are days I want to just at least TALK to the OM, but through it all, I want to repair my marriage. If a movie can give me some hope, just for a moment, it's worth it to me. I still don't know if we're gonna make it, honestly I don't know, but we need some POSITIVE things in our lives, you know??

yeah sorry... right.<P>still can't think of anything though.

glenn, I agree about Oprah... every so often I catch her show and it's usually very uplifting. <P>Living out your revenge thoughts thorough a movie is kinda interesting, hadn't thought of that. I was trying to be a *bit* more positive though, because there was one thread where someone (I think it was Holly) had read this awful book about letting go of the OP and the pain associated with it. We mentioned movies not to watch because they just hurt too much. I guess your idea re: the english patient burning up is realistic, considering where the betrayed person is in the healing process. <P>Thanks for your input!

OK, I'll jump in on this one. This movie is not necessarily mainstream.<P>The title is Ladyhawke It stars Matthew Broderick, Michelle Pfeiffer and Rutger Hauer.<P>There are some Sci-fi elements, but it is pure love story. One of my all time favorites.<P>God Bless

While husband was doing "his thing" - I went to the movies and saw Patch Adams. I cried and cried and cried.<P>Tonight he rented it, and is in the living room, and he is crying.<P>Good movie. If you are having a hard time expressing yourself, this is one to touch the soul.

ooooo I'm good at this one...<P>What Dreams May Come is great<BR>and very emotionally connective for spouses...<P>LadyHawke I agree is also wonderful. One of my favorites.<P>Never ever underestimate a little Jackie Chan! (Great for female betrayers wishing to bond with their H's )<P>I'll come up w/more soon!<P>------------------<BR>"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."

Hey, can an XY-type offer a suggestion on a romantic movie?<P>"Somewhere in Time" with Christopher Reeve, and IMHO, one of the most beautiful and classiest actresses ever, Jane Seymour.<P>Good story about an unusual love that endures 'over time', so to speak.

Oh, I lOVE Somewhere in Time! Haven't seen it in years. I don't know if I could handle it now, though. I'm like Andy - more into fluff - Sci-fi and comedies. The others are just too much for the moment. I cry enough without the influence of movies.<P>Lori

Just rented Message in a Bottle (Robin Wright Penn and Kevin Costner)...very sad movie, not at all the way I thought it would end, but very good.

Doug:<BR>I LOVE that movie: Somewhere in Time - one of my favorites. Another one of mine is: Splendor in the Grass with Natalie Woods another is "Wuthering Heights". Oh, and another one is: "On the Other side of midnight". I guess you can say these are my favorites. Ilove all these movies. Each one of these movies has a role for me. I become the actress in them and get to release my emotions with them. A movie not to see is "Bridges over Madison". This movie makes me want to have an affair. Good movie. Big mistake.

If it weren't for the fact that H has a very deep atraction to Jane Seymour, I would definitely say "Some where in Time". Great movie, I loved it but at the moment too many sad memories for me to take. "Remains of the Day" with Anothony Hopkin's and Emma Thompson is closer to what I'm feeling at the moment. Unable to express what you TRULLY feel, that is an extremely sad place to be living in, yet I live there... H can't seem to express anything but..."Everythings Great", B/S! Sorry I couldn't be more upbeat, I'm having a difficult day!

I can't believe how much power sappy romance has over us. How about some movies dealing with healthy relationships. I think one reason people have affairs is that we think "romance" has to be breathless and tragic and doomed. We think that's the way it's SUPPOSED to be. Well, it isn't.<P>A few examples of some good, commitment-affirming movies to watch:<P>ON GOLDEN POND - Katherine Hepburn and Henry Fonda, in the latter's last movie, about a devoted older couple in a long-term marriage.<P>THE THIN MAN (and sequels) -- a marriage we all should aspire to. William Powell and Myrna Loy as sleuths Nick and Nora Charles. Bright, witty, urbane, devoted to each other.<P>TEA WITH MUSSOLINI -- so OK, it doesn't have to do with marriage. But a great group of actresses and a fun story.<P>TWIN FALLS IDAHO -- a love story involving a prostitute and conjoined (Siamese) twins. YOu want to talk about commitment? How about when you are literally attached to someone. It's not gruesome or exploitative. It's beautifully done and sensitive.<P>SAY ANYTHING -- OK, so it's teenagers, not a long-term marriage. But it's John Cusack's first non-geek role, and I'll sit through anything with John Cusack. Plus, it's a sweet young love story.<P>THE SIXTH SENSE -- if you haven't seen this, run, do not walk. Not a horror flick, but a psychological thriller with sweet overtones.<P>I'll post more as I think of them.

Thanks everyone!! Keep on adding movies, because I really think we get caught up in the romantic stuff that's VERY BAD for us if it isn't about rebuilding. You know another one that surprized me at the end was "Forces of Nature"... and I'm gonna tell you the end but rent it anyway...<P>after a long trip for the groom to get to the wedding and a emotional relationship with a woman he meets along the way, you expect him to leave his bride at the alter for the OW... but surprise... he's walking toward the house where the wedding's to take place and you don't know WHAT he's gonna do, but you think that he's gonna stop the wedding... suddenly he looks up on the balcony and sees his bride to be... the wind is blowing and the leaves are whirling and the world stops as he realizes that he LOVES HER MORE THAN ANYONE. The OW sees everything, and leaves with some dignity intact. It was amazing.<P>Sorry if I blew the ending, but you'd never guess this was gonna happen and you probably wouldn't have rented it otherwise because it LOOKS as though the OW gets into this guys heart and soul. Not so!! <p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited September 05, 1999).]

NB,<P>Great thread, girlfriend!! What a nice diversion from the heavy hitting topics we usually discuss. Thank you.<P>D&C, I knew you had great taste!! I LOVE John Cusack!! He is one of the most underrated young talents on the movie scene, I think. I'd take him over Tom Cruise anyday. So, yes, "Say Anything" is great. <BR>I would also add the following movies that should be available at your local BlockBuster.......<BR>* "Some Kind of Wonderful" with Eric Stolz<BR>* "Crossing Delancy" with Amy Irving<BR>* and The original "Rocky" ---- "yo Adrian, we did it!!" <P>I love movies and I'm sure I'll think of more later!<P>------------------<BR>Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to renew. Love is meant to oust all fear. Love is meant to harmonize differences. Love is meant to bring us closer to God.<p>[This message has been edited by new woman (edited September 05, 1999).]

I used to like movies like"Sleepless in Seattle.That was one of the last movies my W and I watched before she moved out.She was having an affair,and was obviously thinking of the OM.Now I don't watch that one anymore.I never realized it,but did you ever notice how the person in the movie who's getting dumped,is always made out to look like a loser?Meg Ryan's fiance is made out to be a wimp with bad allergies.Now I feel some movies make me feel manipulated.Like an affair is OK,because the betrayed person is just a jerk or a witch anyway.I stay away from romance movies for now.I went and saw"The Haunting",but in a way,I liked the old original one better.Check it out.

I like Arnold Schwarzeneger's True Lies.<P> [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

D & C,<P>I'm interested, what did you think of The Blair Witch Project? I'd like to read some of your reviews if I could. Thanks.

On the topic of John Cusack, he also did a movie (GREAT!) called Grosse Pointe Blank...about a hit man coming to his high school reunion. It's great. He's really cute too <P>Braveheart is always a favorite, also a great movie called The Princess Bride with Cary Elwes (gorgeous!), Robin Wright (back before she married Sean) and Andre the Giant (also Billy Crystal and an all star cast). Lady Jane is very very sad but sweet, and a real true love story. Dave is a great movie too, with Kevin Kline. He plays an impersonator of the president and ends up having to replace him (you'll see why). Has some romantic undertones also.<BR>If you're really feeling like a laugh, try ANYTHING with Monty Python...the Holy Grail, Life of Brian, or any of the Flying Circus episodes. LOL Hillarious!<P>I'll have more soon!<P>Tracy <P>------------------<BR>"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."