<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I am going to copy an email below that I received from my ex today. I am fuming, and trying to calm down before I react. Just a quick history here - ex is living with OW and her 2 kids - ages 7 and 11. My 2 boys don't like to go over to their dads house when the other kids are there because it is too crowded, and they dont like to see their dad living with OW and her kids! Ex seems to be more concerned with protecting her and her kids, and not his own boys.
This morning, I spoke to him, and asked if he would be taking our boys this weekend. he said yes. I asked if her kids would be there - he said no. I was thinking that was good news - they could have some time with him for a change. Apparantly I must have hesitated for a nano second - and this was his repsonse -

" would love to have the boys any time and so
would OW, her son, and her daughter. the boys said that they do
not like (other kids) I don't know of anything they did to get that
response. They think the world of (our boys) and were hugely
disappointed when they did not come over this weekend. (other daughter) had been
keeping a journal for a class project where you wrote something about a
person you admired and they in turn wrote something back. She wrote a nice
page on (younger son) but he did not show up(to spend weekend with them) and now she had to turn it in today
without his response. She was bummed. I am not suggesting they have to
like anyone but these kids have never been bad to them in anyway except
being over excited when they show up. Oh well, I know it's a bad situation
but they at least could try.

My first response - I wanted to call him and tell him that our boys do NOT have to try to make his life better by making friends with his GF and her kids! i am sure tat her kdis did nothing wrong - but the boys just don't like to see their dad living with 2other kdis. Why doesn't he get that? Frankly, I don't think there is anything I can say to him that won't make him angry and he will jsut blow up, again, yelling, swearing, andreminding me that after all idf I hadn't been such a bad wife he would not have been forced to have an affair, thus leaving me and the boys.
I am so sick of his %$#@.
Should I just ignore him?
One final note - I don't know why in the heck other daughter was writing a journal about how she admired my son - she barely knows him. They have seen each other maybe 4 times in the past 6 months. They did not know each other prior to D day. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Geez. Page right outta my life except my son is a bit younger.

I was informed of same thing. My x was shacking up with OW until either her dad got out his shotgun or she threatened to leave him again..so he married her.

I was told my son and her illegit 3 yo from shacking up with first guy, was "my son's best buddy". My son says he hates him and that her son has bitten him even. I am told how they are "like brothers".

Same crapola.

It's part of the thought being "well, if we can show everybody how the kids are ok with it, then everybody will get over the fact we wrecked our family life and accept our sin." That's it in a nutshell. They are trying to claim legitimacy in a sinful relationship.

There's a whole section in "Love Must Be Tough" by Dobson where he lists excuses for affairs and divorce. One is "it will be better for the kids". And this is one way they try to show it. Force the kids from the broken home together and make them get along. All nice and Brady right? It's sad. Sad they use their kids to justify their lack of self control and morality.

Hi WoF5,
I cant think of anything you could say that would help. He just wants everything to look good, from the outside.

Vent here, tape a picture of his face to a punching bag and have at it...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> would love to have the boys any time and so would OW, her son, and her daughter. the boys said that they do not like (other kids) I don't know of anything they did to get that
response. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He doesnt have a clue that it's not about OW or her kids... they lost their family, and now they have to share their dad.

Any attempt at explaining this to him will be met by him making this about YOU... that YOU dont like them, that YOU have told them they lost their daddy because of OW's kids, that YOU are giving the kids bad vibes about this... that YOU are sabatoging this...

I'd let it go... dont waste your breath. I'm sorry. Please take care - Dru

Yes, save your breath. I’ll never forget when I saw that my father’s mother had a picture up with my father, his wife (former OW), her kids, and my aunt’s family. There they were all together and it was as if the real family didn’t exist. I wouldn’t expect my mother, but where were my siblings and me? Oh, over there in another picture.

I knew then exactly how my grandmother felt about my dad’s affair and remarriage and me.

Suddenly having to share your parent and even grandparents with outsiders is hard. It’s painful. And everyone is aware that the new people are sapping time, energy and money away from you the original child.

That’s the top reason why I won’t get remarried until my children are grown up and out of the house.

Oh, anyway, no way will X or OW ever see that. If they did, they’d have to deal with the lasting depths of pain they created.

Greengables,

Couldn't agree more. That's why I didn't remarry until I had my kids raised and educated, (actually two were married and the third engaged) by the time I remarried.

FOG- FOG- FOG

Just makes you wanna tell them to "fog off" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Yeah, been there.
No getting thru that ultra-hard crankcase that houses what used to be a brain.
If you want some stress-relief, just try some psycho-babble fog of your own back at them, and watch them try to fathom it out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Nothing would suit them more than to see everyone playing "happy families", too salve their guilty consciences.

Peace
muzohead