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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 12
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 12 |
I have another question about my STBX and our chances of ssaving this marriage, even if it's after divorce.
Everyone around me hates him. Part of the reason is I told some of them about the abuse and admittedly I was biased. Others just plain didn't like the way he "was". My family hated him because of his long hair and "street" look. (I know it's appalling but...)
How do I navigate thru this? Any suggestions? Are there any articles about this on this message board?
Take good care,
Francis
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,031
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Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,031 |
does his "street look" include the street use of drugs, or alcohol?
I know some disliked the look of my ex also..many years ago, but his came with the attitude and addictions (I wasnt aware of addictions until well after we were married, he hid them well)
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 12
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 12 |
Well, he's a recovering alcoholic (15 yrs. sober) and a daily pot smoker. Je's also on meds for some psychiatric disorders. The amt of pot he smoked was a major trigger for rages when we were together. Hmmm...good question. Keep em coming! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Take good care, Francis
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,031
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,031 |
So, the reason maybe they dislike him is not because of his look, but because of some of the things he does.
Im sorry, but I dont think there is much hope for a stable relationship when there are drugs/alcohol involved. This site has some good information on how they relate to marital relationships and the MB ideas.
Does he go to AA? other counseling and is it helping?
You should also go to al-anon. I know it helped me alot
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649 |
If you can work things out between the two of you, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You're the one who has to live with him.
Most of my friends and family think I'm too good for my h. He's pretty much of a caveman who thinks he's real smart but he's not. And he lets his insecurities influence his behavior by being an [censored] to cover them. (Hell, now *I* think I'm too good for him. LOL-just kidding.
He is far from perfect but I love him. But that's not an excuse to put up with abuse (he is verbally and emotionally abusive sometimes--well, the truth is he needs to grow up).
I agree that relationships built on addiction don't have much of a chance. Good luck.
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