Divorce was final on 4-7-04 at 8:46am. I was an unceremonial event, taking all of 10 minutes. I wore black to the event, recognizing that I was about to kill 31 years of marriage. My W (now ex) was not present. She could not handle it.
Now I am trying to move forward, as I'm sure she is also. She is now seeing her male friend of 3 years, I am seeing a friend of 6 months.
My counsellor and I discussed putting the bad feelings behind along with all the guilt. He suggested taking a personal inventory of myself and be my own judge. Then, after doing this, I should write a letter of apology for all the things I feel I done wrong as a way to move beyond the guilt and negative feelings. I will review this letter with my C before I mail it.
Then, I should mail it. I think this will help me put the past behind and someday soon, wish her happiness and truly mean it.

Good for you, doogie. Such a sad way 2 see things end, but at least you've got the right atti2de.

My W and I independently noted the week when we'd both known each other for 30 years. That was about a month ago. A lot of negativity has flowed under the bridge since then, but at least now it looks like she's finally starting 2 feel withdrawal from RM.

I'm not out of the woods by any means yet, and progress continues 2 be very slow, but if I ever do end up DV'd after having been M'd now for 28.5 yrs, I want 2 be able 2 look back fondly and with compassion on my W and wish her well in whatever she chooses 2 do from then on.

Take care,
-ol' 2long