Instead it’s my 3rd year divorced. But the inspiring thing is that today, I feel no sorrow. Typically this is a day that I kind of dread for sentimental reasons. So the only mourning that I do today is the same that I do every day. I mourn the loss of the thought of having the “All American Family”. I say “loss of the thought” because I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately and examining of all my past relationship. I’ve come to the conclusion that what I miss the most about my married life are the things that I never had but should of.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all those who have traveled with me on this journey. You thoughtful words, prayers, and thoughts have really been priceless.

Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers

Bill, Glad to hear you're doing so well. I joined MB about the same time you did, though I'm still not divorced. But I had two years of no contact (with the help of a restraining order!) and my 12th anniversary (would've been 22 years together) came and went (on 4/17) with barely a twinge of the awful pain I felt when I first came here. I, too, still reget the loss of my "all-American dream," but life goes on and I think I can finally see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

I accidentally found this site about a month ago and I believe it has helped keep me realatively sane. If I had known about it earlier, I might not need this forum. Our 17th is July 15th, our first apart and dreading it. WW is going on a cruise w/ OM a couple of days later and DV-Day is a couple of weeks after. I know someday I will be able to look at aniversary day the way you guys do but its pretty dreary now.
LH- love the jokes.

You are the best Bill. Good things are on the way...we're praying for you and know the blessings are soon to come and some already have <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

BTW...it's her loss.

LostHusb---you have put so well into words what I was feeling this weekend. Whenever there is a holiday or even a weekend, I can feel sadness trying to ram the door of my heart down. I get feeling melancholy and alone....poor me with nothing and no one to spend time with and do special things with. I realized this weekend that if I was still married, I would still be lonely cause my WS would be off with the guys. We hardly did anything together except if I begged and worked hard to make something happen.

I, too, mourn the loss of what should have been but never was........

TW

Well, I envy you for doing so well.
What would have been my 12th Anniversary passed recently. Though the divorce was final a year ago, the horrible discoveries & betrayal started 3 yrs ago. I am still in touch with ex, mostly by phone.

He helps me out with car etc. I dont think he realizes how hard it is for me still, watching him walk out the door if he stops by. I never mention OW and dont have an idea if its ongoing or not. I dont want to fight. How I wish he would have some epiphany & come back a better man, but I guess thats not likely. My life has sucked since all this started & I just have a long run of bad luck. I am unemployed again. And I have had horrible insomnia forever since he left. I just cant sleep without him, still. Its awful. I feel like I should be over it by now, but Im not even close. Feeling so lonely, but I dont have any interest in meeting anyone new. Im still hung up on the old. Hopefully, I'll get a new job soon & snap out of this funk! I guess you're proof there IS still life after the big-D afterall. Take care.

Bill,
Congratulations on coming so far.
I understand what you mean about mourning the marriage that never was. I've come to realize that I was in denial about my M for a long time, and that the denial was a protection until I was ready to deal with the reality.
Sadly, I don't miss my X, ever. He wasn't the man I believed him to be.
And when the girls ask about living together again, its hard not to tell them that their picture of a family together wasn't the reality. I was a single parent in a M, and now I'm a single parent who is much more relaxed.

Good Luck. And celebrate the anniversary in some way for yourself, and possibly the kids. If the M didn't happen, they would never have been born.

Congratulations on the un-niversary! ;}

I try not to mourn the marriage, because I never would have had the 'American dream' happy family with XH. I just try to learn from my big mistake, and live well for my two little blessings that came from an otherwise long bad dream.

This coming July would be our 11 year un-niversary. The date will come and go without so much as a snortle. I'll be having too much fun with the kids. :}

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by xpButtercup:
<strong> The date will come and go without so much as a snortle. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you to all who responded. ATW hang in there girl "This too shall pass".

NOW, can anyone tell me what a "SNORTLE" is????

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LostHusband:
<strong> I mourn the loss of the thought of having the “All American Family”....I’ve come to the conclusion that what I miss the most about my married life are the things that I never had but should of.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My thoughts exactly!! I've come to this very same realization.

I hope and pray that you, I and everyone else on this forum will received and be a part of the kind of love and relationship that we deserve.

God bless you...for all the lessons you've learned, for your future and especially for those darn-funny jokes you are always coming up with!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> You are much appreciated!!!

<small>[ June 02, 2004, 04:32 PM: Message edited by: Ms.O ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LostHusband:
NOW, can anyone tell me what a "SNORTLE" is????</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm not anyone but I'll try. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

It was going to be sniffle, but then I've never really cried at the thought of being away from him. So then I was thinking of a harrumph... which is really kind of an uppity snort... but then you know how sometimes you stifle a laugh and end up snorting? So I guess it's a sniffle-harrumph-stifled-laugh-snort-chuckle.

Isn't snortle much easier? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />