I have been talking to a lot of people both men and women and this is the question I have. It seems like everyone these days are dating like two or three different people at the same time. I was curious what is up with that. That is like doing a comparison shopping and then you pick the one you want. I am kind of old fashion, I am not saying they couldn't do anything without me I am just saying if I was dating someone I would want that to be mutually exclusive between her and I. I am just amazed especially with the ladies that they are dating like two or three guys all at the same time. If you tell them up front you want it to be between me and her then they say well since we just started going out they don't want to make a decision. But they say if it was 2-3 months into dating and a decision was asked to be made they would. Is it even worth seeing someone who is seeing at least one other person besides yourself? I have some mixed thoughts on this subject. What is exactly dating any more? I didn't think it was that? I am not saying if you date it has to be all serious and what not. But I can see giving the respect of not dating other people at the same time.
The lady who I am interested I found out she is seeing someone else as well. I told her up front that I didn't like that she started seeing me but she told me the other guy was already in the picture. This is almost like stepping right back into what I dealt with my WS cheating with another guy. Am I being this way because what my WS did to me? Is this normal today? I want to make sure that I am not seeing it different because of what my WS did to me in the past. Just curious on other peoples thoughts.

C-Guy,

I just read your post and you bring up a good point. It does seem like dating has taken a different swing these days. But I'm like you. When I dated, there was only supposed to be two. Otherwise it creates too much insecurity.

As for you question about being this way because of what you WS did - You probably are more sensitive because of that, but that's not the whole story. For some of us that's just the way we picture things and others don't. I can't tell you what to do where this person you started seeing is concerned, but I would probably reconsider if her ideas aren't the same as yous evenstarting off a relationship. I wouldn't have been able to handle a relationship where I wondered constantly whether it was me or someone else on my partners mind.
If you need someone that shows the same respect you show of not dating other people at the same time then that's one thing you have to consider when you look for someone.
Just remember, if there is someone out ther that's already in a relationship (dating, not married) and they are ready to get out to find someone who they fit with better, don't judge them and rule them out. Weigh and balance the whole situation before you "do" anything you might regret later.
lots'o'luck!
JNB