I had thought it would be better to not bring up the financial aspect... I figured that would be something he would bring up to use against me! (That he'd argue I only want the change because I am greedy and lazy... that is his style.)

I have printed out the financial aspects of the change and will take that with me to the hearing. It is July 8, not too far away.

My main concern is quality of education and programs/services. I know that he will argue that the public charter school is by law required to provide the same services (counselor, special ed needs) however making them do it is a whole different matter; they have been operating in the red! Being required to offer these services and being able to afford/pay for them and actually implement them are two different things.

I gotta call and see how many students have an IEP.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I know that he will argue that the public charter school is by law required to provide the same services (counselor, special ed needs) </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't know about charter schools since we have none in my school district, but I do know about the private schools. And they are not required to provide the actual special ed services for the child. Those services are provided by the public school, and the private school utilizes these services for their students by bringing the kids over in a van (or mini-bus).

You do know don't you, xpB, that you can't just "go get" an IEP.
At least in public school in the USA you can't.
(Please forgive me if you already know this procedure)

Federal law (IDEA) requires the public school to carefully evaluate the childs skills and (possible) special needs.
Once a child is found eligible, then the IEP meeeting is held. During this meeting, the appropriate special ed placement or related service is determined, as well as the development of the IEP.

After reading about your ex (prince), I keep thinking....
Have you considered going into court with a proposal that YOU become the sole custodial parent of your children? Number 11 of 12 from "The following factors are taken from the Michigan Child Custody Act as defining the best interests of the child as the sum total of an evaluation by the court of the following" : </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">11. Domestic violence - regardless of whether the violence was directed against or witnessed by the child. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">(I can post the link for the 11 other factors if you are interested.)
Such a sad story. Maybe you could print the web page and present it at the hearing.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by xpButtercup:
[QB] I had thought it would be better to not bring up the financial aspect... I figured that would be something he would bring up to use against me! (That he'd argue I only want the change because I am greedy and lazy... that is his style.)

I have printed out the financial aspects of the change and will take that with me to the hearing. It is July 8, not too far away.

Don't worry about what your husband thinks. Judges, for the most part are impartial and don't care. He will lose points with the Judge if he argues you are greedy and lazy.

You need to argue your position and convincingly.
Which means you have to have proof and evidence. First, do you have a confirmed diagnosis that your son is ADHD? If not, you may have a hard time introducing this as fact and you will lose points with the Judge.

Quality of education is very subjective, even with data and statistics. You can argue that the quality of education is your number one priority but if your son is a straight A student at the charter school, you're going to have a difficult time convincing the Judge the school is not meeting your son's needs. Chances are your XH will introduce a report card.

Instead consider arguing that you feel son can get as good an education at the public school as at the charter school...show the comparison of the test scores or other positive data. You can also argue that the PS has a long, established history of working with ADHD and gifted and talented children. Find out what special programs and extra-curricular activites are offered compared to the Charter Academy.

Finally, inform the judge in addition to the above its become an emotional and financial burden as you originally stated...

1.) The charter school does not offer bussing. I have to drive them there and pick them up every day. It is about 7 miles one-way from where I live now and about 15 miles one-way from where we will be moving to.

- Time and money

2.) The charter school requires uniforms. I have to buy a specific type of shirt, pants or skirt/skort, shoes, etc. and replace fairly often. I usually buy my own clothes at yard sales or thrift shops.

- Make sure you say expensive uniforms!

3.) The charter school's latchkey program is not fully funded by my child care assistance, so I have out-of-pocket expenses that I would not have if they went to the public school's latchkey program.

- Make sure you have something for the judge to show him the difference.

4.) The kids would also probably receive free or reduced-cost lunches at the public school. The charter school has no lunch program so they bring sack lunches every day. Not cheap.

- Confirm this. Probably will not cut it with the Judge.

5.) There is a fairly substantial "supply list" each fall for students at the charter school as well as things that are requested on a monthly basis (snack, kleenex, etc.) that gets pretty steep ... not sure if the public schools demand so much.


- Again, show proof.

Good Luck!

When all your energies should be focused on getting this sorted out the best way for your son, it is a shame that your X is making this a more difficult decision than it already is. I am so sorry.

I have some questions which may be helpful for you to think about.

Is your X in denial about your son's difficulties and real issues? Perhaps this is what the real problem is and his need to prevent you from making any chnages or seeking answers etc. (That has been my experience somewhat. ...had to battle and still am to get my 2 younger children, who are now late teens, the help they need and X still does not belive there is anything mentally ill with his children (ADHD, anxiety, depression are all a very real part of who they are and always will be) and puts financial, legal and emotional hurdles in front of anything I do to try to help them.

When you go to court, can you not get the psychologist who evaluated your son and the best placement for him as written in the report to testify. The judge can then ask an expert unbiased party with no hidden agenda what is belived to be the best for your son. Takes you out of the "he thinks/she thinks" space which is more subjective.

I can add here that the younger the children are who are able to receive intervention in individual programming, with counselling and socialization, the better the outcome will be..........

Small children small problems, big children big problems.

You might want to see if you can submit the request for the IEP over the summer.

There may be test score results, assuming the CS is required to administer the same standardized testing as the PS, that might support the fact that students score higher or lower in which areas.

In my city, we have a number of magnet schools - schools with special focus - which are not required to offer as many services as the regular schools. Therefore, they may not offer as many accomodations for LD children. So, when you choose to send your child there, you need to keep in mind that they are limited in some areas that might affect LD children. I don't know if the same situation exists with the charter schools but you might want to look into that.

Also, on a slightly different note, my son's former school was an excellent private school only for children with diagnosed learning differences. You might check their website, www.curreyingram.org, for links to sites about learning differences.

And, amnow.ok, thanks for confirming my understanding that there are no physical tests to substantiate a diagnosis of ADHD.

The staff that would work with me on an IEP are gone for the summer. No matter which school he attends, I can't do anything with that until fall.

I am leaning even more toward the public schools after talking with the teacher who would be his 4th grade teacher at the charter academy, and the principal of the elementary I want him to go to. He is not going to fit into her rigid class structure the way he is. With three 4th grade classrooms in the PS, he would be put in the highest group for break-out math and reading sessions, rather than waiting for the slowest in the room to catch up.