This is going to be the first weekend X taking our son, after 8 months of not using that right...

I'm so sad, and frightened too...

I know, rational part of my brain, that should be good for my son (??)... On the other side, I'm so afraid how X will take care of him, not to mention influence I am not pleased with already, when he was having him just a couple of hours every few days until now...
I asked him if he's taking him out of town (in that case Agreement says I have to know where + phone numbers), but he said they'd stay in the town...
And, the worst part, I know that X won't respect a part of Agreement about not drinking at all while during those visitations...
(By the way, what do I do if he drinks???)

What to do?
I made some plans and tempted cancel them and just sit and wait the time passes by and I again hug my son...
I know I must not... but no wish for anything...

I guess the pain get lesser after a while, as any other pain has...
Hoping X won't keep him every second weekend as agreed... and feeling guilty that I hope so (my son needs father too)...


<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

PS:

X has never had patience to spend with our son (2,8) more than a couple of hours er week... I wonder why this wish all of a sudden...

People they know him 'bet' he won't stand the whole weekend taking care of our son... and I'm afraid he can leave him with 'the third party', although there is in Agreement ha has to call me first...

What's 'statistics' says... do Xs tend to skip these weekends by the time...?

Dear Belonging-

I know how you feel as I have been there myself. Trust that God will look over your son and keep him safe. Keep in mind that you probably won't agree with what your XH does or how he parents.

My XH is a recovering alcoholic and I too have a no drink provision. If your XH drinks while with your son definately do something about it, report it and take steps to keep your son protected. Your XH will be upset, but who cares.

You are right when you say that your son deserves a relationship with his father, granted, your XH may not deserve the relationship, but your son does. Try to remember this when it gets really difficult for you. God will keep your son safe and if your XH abides by the rules it will be good for your son as well.

In the meantime, don't hover by the phone. Do you have a cell phone? If so leave that number so you can be reached, but then get out and do something good for yourself. You will go crazy waiting at home.

As for your questioning whether your XH will keep him the whole weekend or make this a routine, God only knows. I know for the first couple of years my XH was really sporatic during the week, but was pretty consistant with weekends although his pick up and drop off times were all over the place. However, when the OW moved in this all changed and he has gradually become very punctual and consistant up to the point where at her urging he is now fighting for 50/50 (we currently have 85/15). The courts don't seem to be buying his bull however, thank God!

What you are feeling is very understandable and trust me, many of us have felt it. Find comfort in the fact that you are not alone and we are here for you.

Take care and God bless!
K

Thanks a lot!
Yes, I have cell phone and will be turned on all the time.

Why does you X fight for 50/50 now? (for CS?)
How old are your kids? Any chance he can get it?
(I'm afraid of this too; think that X just waits our son is big enough to take care of himself so he can cut down (already miserable) CS...

Today he took our son for 2,5 hours to be with him.
He brought him around 8 p.m. in his arms, my baby was sleeping.
X left (said our son had a supper with him).

After 15 minutes, my son woke up coughing, CHOCKING, red in his face, I run to help him breath, and saw something in his mouth, took it out - it was a chewing gum!!!

What an idiot of X!
Not only he gave it to 2,8 old child, but left him asleep with it in his mouth! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Do I exaggerate being so upset and even more afraid of his negligence and irresponsibility!??
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
Btw, he says I'm overprotective mom <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
(Once, he left him in teh car (our son was 6 months) and went to the bank, and when I freaked out he said - so what, I was watching him through banks windows... and I'm overprotective and panicking and I'll make him a fagot... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> )



After that I comforted him in my arms, than he said he was hungry... and he ate a lot!

Well, it's almost midnight now, my son sleep sound and looks happy...

Oh..... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I'm going to send him an email about this...

He turns off when I show emotions, so won't show them, but want to have this in writing... if I need it some day...

I'd love to WARN him... but don't want to sound as 'threatening'(?) him about possible consequences of his behaviour... plus I want to add that he smelt on alcohol when he brought him...

What's the best way?
Could anyone help me please make that mesage/letter?

Thanks, anyway... at least it feels better after venting...