Hello everyone.

A little update:

Life is moving right along for me. For those who don't know, my wife moved out 7/30/03 to be with OM. Left me with the kids. I filed for D in late March/early April. I try my best to be cordial with W the few times we talk/communicate. But it is very difficult. She is selfish and her selfishness affects the children.

Anyway, I have the kids for the most part. She has them every other weekend basically beginning Sat. evenings.

I started law school last Monday and am EXTREMELY busy these days, with school, work and the children. But, I am managing and I am happy.

Anyway, a couple from my church invited me and the children over to eat after service. I agreed as they have children my children's age. That day in church, though, wife was there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
She stopped going to church when she moved out a year ago and would only go whenever the children were participating in the service. Well, needless to say, she went to dinner too...with us.

The couple planned the whole thing to get us back together. At their house a lot came out. She admitted to them that she does in fact have a boyfriend, ugh!. She also said that she still has "a little love for me". She admitted that she sometimes feels like she made a huge mistake in leaving. The couple planned a trip to VA beach this weekend and invited us. They tell me she is cool with it and will be there. We are supposed to share the same hotel, me and her, with the kids. A weekend vacation as a family after we have been separated for a year and the fact she has a boyfriend.

What do you think? Should I go just to go? I know the kids will love having us in the same room again. Or, should I just leave things alone. The D hearing is scheduled for Nov. 9. She has not changed. She still has a nasty attitude, serious attitude.

Ya, let's take the kids away for the weekend and play family. Then mom can leave to be with her boytoy and you're left with the kids and their confusion, pain, and misery.

I'm [censored]-u-ming that your wife knows that if she wants to get back together that the boytoy must be totally out of the picture. Yet she's not willing, as you said, nothing has changed.

IMHO this will only place unrealistic expectations in the children's eyes and will be harmful to them completing their grieving process.

DTIA: I agree with LH, it would not be good for the kids in the long run.

Why would you want to go and stay with her if she is still with her OM? I'm [censored]-u-ming that he's not invited. A couple of weeks ago it made me sick to my stomach to be in the same auditorium with my WxW for 30 minutes, I couldn't even imagine a weekend at the beach. I would barf up my toenails before I ever got packed.

Did I just say I agreed with LH? Let me check my drivers license and see who I am........ Just kidding LH, we have our differences but not on everything.

If you would've said, "The kids would love to go to the beach." I would've said, Go, take the kids to the beach have a great time.

But, you said, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know the kids will love having us in the same room again.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">NO WAY!!! Stay in separate rooms if you want to take the kids to the beach and keep your sanity.

If you stay in the same room you'll be miserable and I'm pretty sure your kids will end up being miserable. PLEASE, DON'T DO IT!!!

JMHO! Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

SAL

You need to talk with W about her intentions with everything. Upfront, tell her that you are willing (assuming you are) to try and recocile, however she needs to cut off all contact with OM.

This is the only way to make a try of things, if she is not willing to do that, Let her go for the weekend and take the kids.

Good luck...

S&L had a good point. It would be a shame to knock the kids out of a weekend at the beach. Either you take them or she does, but both of you? I would rather be beaten with a stick.

While I understand that the intentions of this family at church may be honorable, they need to stay out of it. You might want to kindly tell them this. I wonder if she put them up to this or does she think you put them up to this. It's just not a wise way to handle the situation. I don't know what they were thinking but it couldn't be much....just not smart!

I wouldn't care to be anywhere on the east coast this weekend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Regardless this idea sounds bad to me, given your situation.

Hi DTIA,

I think I can count on one hand the times my jaw has dropped reading a post but your was one of them.

I find it very inappropriate that this couple has gone to such measures to try and "fix" you back up with your WW.Do they have all the information? I would have been very uncomfortable in that scenario and I would not agree to a trip to VA with everyone.No,no,no.This is all wrong.

The kids would enjoy any time at the beach and with mom and dad in the same vicinity but that will send the wrong message and puts you in a bind and gives them false hope.I would gracefully decline the weekend getaway and take the kids somewhere else that is fun but just with you if it's your time with them or, let the kids be with their mom while you have some quiet time to yourself or with friends.

I sense a disaster looming so don't go IMO.

O

If you're taking a poll, I vote with the others. No. For the same reasons given. They are good reasons; no need for me to try to be original.

Ummmm....the beach? This weekend? I don't know...If the people in VA Beach are smart, they'll be preparing in case Ivan heads their way.
What part of VA are you from? I used to live in Portsmouth.
Oh, and BTW, I agree with everyone else. I think it would be almost traumatic for the children, once they realize that it doesn't mean you're getting back together. It will just spark unrealistic hopes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />