</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Joey791:
<strong> I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith 2 Tim 4:7</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Wow...I think you need to re-read you own scripture. You may have fought the good fight, but you haven't finished the course. The course is finished when you are divorced. Period.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> Also once the spouse commits adultry thats it, biblically the marriage is done, you have the right to move on.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So why then does the Bible say you should give your adulterous spouse a letter of divorce? If it's done, it's done. Why the divorce decree?

And by stating that your spouse is continuing in adultery, that gives you the right to become an adulteror too? Don't get that logic....

<small>[ September 07, 2004, 05:42 PM: Message edited by: Ms.O ]</small>

Thats right about the letter of divorce, but when the offense happened it was issued, the divorce laws of today are man made laws not bible laws.

Also believer I followed your story and know what you been through-dont feel bad, in the middle of the affair that I have proof of my wife and I rededicated our marriage and signed a Louisiana covenant marriage(still waiting on lawyer on what proof I need to get divorce time limit cut back)because as is we have to be seperated for 24 months before we can divorce.

Also Im not talking about jumping in the sack with someone either, if you want to go out to eat with someone or go to the movies or a concert or just hang out that is considered a date, now if yall are thinking about going out to eat then getting in bed thats not what Im talking about at all

<small>[ September 07, 2004, 07:29 PM: Message edited by: Joey791 ]</small>

Joey, hon, please don't take my words as criticism. To begin with, I am probably twice as old as you. So it is very easy for me to say not to date before you divorce.

By posting and reading here, I have seen a lot of things. One poster who fought for his marriage til the end was introduced to a young lady (10 years younger than he) by friends at work at a Superbowl party.

He said there was no "chemistry" between them. But about 2 weeks before his divorce they went out for a burger and played pool. Until that point he looked at her like a friend and then KABAAM!, he was in love.

I warned him that he was sliding down the slippery slope. He wrote back that he wasn't sliding, he was JUMPING! They are still together and doing well. But don't think it can't happen to you.

No criticism taken at all believer I just wanted to make sure that my point was taken the wrong way, which I believe when I posted it the OM had called that night and said it was a PA not an EA and my wife still denies that so I was steamed.

Just like my 2nd scripture, I'm only human, if I had my choice just like anyone here I would want my spouse back, but God has a plan, and my marriage and everyone elses should be in his hands and we should live every day knowing hes going to do whats best for us <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ,even though we may think differently <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Its wierd being a new Christian-God touched me earlier this year and told me to be a good husband and father, but unfortunately I couldnt get my wife to see my efforts, its wierd knowing that last year I actually believed I controlled my own life and I dont he does <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Just wanted to make sure everyone wasnt thinking I was oking jumping in the sack with someone <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Joey -

You've got the right idea. You and I don't know what is in your future, but the Lord does.

So just keep being a good and honorable man. Good things will follow.

Hey Joey,
You don't know my story because I haven't been around in a while, but I am a BS too. I went through a lot, like most people here, and fought for my marriage for a long time.
I am someone who ended up dating before my divorce was over. I have to admit, it sounds weird to me to even say that, because it is so unlike me.
In the past, I'd have been one to be very black and white on this, well, on most stuff really. Looking back, I think that it may have been the only way I could let go, and maybe a way of ending my limbo. I'll be the first to admit that this was obviously not the healthiest thing to do, but I was a very unhealthy person at the time, after being tormented emotionally for so long by WH.
I am torn as to what I think about the issue. Looking at it in black and white, it's definitely safer to just stick to waiting till things are final. However, I also know that I am a million times happier and healthier than I was before I had this other person in my life. And I do agree with your frustration on the time frame of the divorce proceedings. Back in Biblical times, the marriage would have been officially over MUCH before it is now, in the case of adultery. I know that I grieved the loss of my husband for many months before divorce was even filed.
Perhaps I am only trying to justify...I have to say that if I could go back and do things differently, I probably would, if only to be more at peace with myself. I often feel guilty, especially when I read the posts here at MB and others are so much stronger than I. So, maybe that answers your question. But, now that it's done, I am glad to have the new person in my life. Though I would never trade my intact family and marriage for anything, I do see how much happier and healthier I am now than I ever was before.
Sorry I rambled on, but I thought maybe you could use the perspective of someone who's been there, done that so to speak.
Best Wishes, and I am sorry for what you are going through.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Joey791:
<strong> Thats right about the letter of divorce, but when the offense happened it was issued, the divorce laws of today are man made laws not bible laws.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sorry, but there is no evidence AT ALL in the Bible that the letter happened immediately after the offence. And it doesn't matter; it was the procedure, no matter how long it took.

The Bible also says "render unto Caeser (the government) what is Caeser's..."

You have got some great advice here.

Only to add this.

Before you date another, be sure you have no affliction to your former wife, during the divorce. You must be sure of that. This must be clear in your mind. Don't date another to avenge.

Don't have sex with anyone you date, during your divorce/separation. Share common interests.

Otherwise, enjoy.

I'm separated, firmly committed to divorce, but while separated, or post divorce, hoping to meet another.

Best to all.