I have been following a few post on the boards and wondered how people felt about the possibility of a couple getting divorced because of an A and continuing Counseling and working things out. I am new and wondered If any of you have been through a situation like this like I have.

If you are serious about a divorce you must proceed. In my case, I'm trying to do so at a pace that is comfortable to my wife and me. My marriage is broken and can't be recovered. We both realize that. So we are working together to make a smooth transition. It is a difficult process to make it fair. It takes time.

If you think your marriage has a chance, see Plan A/B.

I wish you the best.

I certainly can understand your desire to end the marriage because of an A with the desire to "start fresh". That was exactly what I wanted to do when my marriage was "contaminated" with an A. However, it did not work. We got divorced and I learned that divorce is just as painful as any tragedy in a marriage (more so!) Our "bond" together suffered and we ended up going our separate ways.

6 months later he tells me that he wakes up every morning praying to God to forget me. We were thinking about trying again, but we now have to deal with the last 6 months of each other dating. It's more complicated than before, we aren't as close, we aren't as attached. And for God's sake, it's still just as painful as ever.

Divorcing after an A with the intention of starting over just doesn't work. It's an attempt to avoid going through the pain of an A and the problem is, the path you are taking to avoid that pain ends up being more painful in the long run...

Lynn