Do you think reconsiliation is a viable option after a divorce is final?

I ask without giving details because I want your first, gut instinct.

Yes, anything's possible
or
No, cut your losses & walk away.

I know, I know....everything is not cut & dry.

So, if you say yes, tell me what specific things would cause you to consider it.

If you say no, what specific things are the reasons for closing that chapter on your life?

COntrary to what you might project, I do indeed know how to spell....that would be reconCiliation. *sorry*

Yes, I do think that reconciliation is possible. Divorce is painful and I think that once you begin to heal and you still have feelings for your ex and they still have feelings for you, you could start over. It is scary, though, because their is always a fear that you will end up where the divorce started. From my experience it is much harder to start over after the D than to try and avoid the D altogether. The only positive side is that by living separate lives, you might appreciate all that the other person did for you even more.

Well, you kinda asked two questions:

Is reconcillation viable (def: Capable of living, developing, or germinating under favorable conditions.)?

Is reconcillation possible?

Yes, it's possible. Anything is possible.

Is it viable? That TOTALLY depends upon the two individuals, what the "favorable conditions" might be, the circumstances of the marriage/divorce, how each has changed and what they each has learned since the divorce.

There are many reasons you might want to consider it a possibility:

* Kids
* History Together
* Still in love

The reasons NOT to consider it would be if both people haven't dealt with whatever it was that cause the divorce, if they haven't learned anything fron their situation, etc. etc.

Here I am just going through my D, so perhaps I shouldn't be responding, but I agree with the others.

I think you should look carefully at a situation before you can make a decision. For example, in my situation, I have a WH (STBX)who has been actively in an A for a year now. He's currently living with OW and they're talking (or at least she is) of buying a house together. He is also an addict (booze and a few drugs). Right now, I filed (a very tough choice even despite the circumstances) because it seems the best thing to do for myself and my daughter still at home.

However, if miracles happened and he got help for the addictions and the A ended and he wanted to try again, I can't say I wouldn't. Most people wouldn't understand that--i.e., my coworkers just say "You'd never take him back, would you??".

But I think people on this site DO understand the importance of M and that yes, we do sometimes do things that seem contrary to logic.

LL