My ex said to me today she thinks she is Bi-Polar. Any ideas

It is the same as "Manic/Depressive". It's an actual diagnosis, however many people use it as a slang to describe extreme high/low emotions.

Ok-- a Bi polar person has a jeckle and hyde personas, for real. They have days when they are depressed. no hope, all gloom and doom. Can't get out of bed. A real puddleglum with no ambitions or zest for life. No self-esteem and feel they have nothing of value to give. The manic side is the fun side everyone is attracted to: they walk into a room and just know without looking around that theya re the best looking person in the room. They have the right words for everyone, the right bend on every agruement, confidence abounds-- for some they are bossy and intolerant of others they deem "beneath them" yet some are at their most charming when they are manic and we love them for it. Their charm leads us because it is so confident, we trust whatever they say and usually don't doubt them. If we do, then we might have heck to pay becase they are threatened by anything that might remind them of their dark side, of anything that could threaten their manic state with a dose of reality.
I knew a woman who was the equivelent of a sloth most the time. She moved slowly. her eye lids drooped. Life sucked for her. Her employer wasn't treating her well (wal mart- go figure) and her husband , whom we all could see was supportive, just didn't understand. She wished she would just disappear. A week or so later, she was snapping her chewing gum, full of life and liveliness. She commanded attention by her stance, her very appearance. I smiled and said "well, hello, Miss THANG! How are you today?" Sh told me she was doing great. She showed up for work early, becasue she knew so and so was going to be late and figured someone would need to start stocking. I asked how her husband was, and she said he's good, but she got tired of him and put him in his place. I asked her how, she said she pushed him onto the couch and threatened him if he kept telling her she needs help.
I couldn't beleive the audacity. I just walked away going "Wow. I think I liked her better when she was down."
So-- that's an example of it.
What do you tink? Is your wife like that?
Lucy

Hi Thank you for your input. To a certain extent, yes my XW has those moments of manic depression. Her brother was in town yesterday and had invited the both of us out to dinner and on the way to the resturant, the subject of bi-polar came about, she talked about her moods, times where she feels great, and then becomes depressed, she hates her job, wants to stay away from people because the little things drive her insane. She has little patience with our kids and just feels like she will hurt everyone around her. Many times she just want to disappear. I read somewhere that only 1 percent of the population is bi-polar, it is also hereditery, her mom was suffering from depression until she died, her brother was also a depressed person who became an alcoholic but somehow came out of it and changed his life (medication and lots of family support).

Can it be that the decisions she had made in her life such as ( having the affair, loosing her family, hurting the people she most loves) caused such an imbalance? I am not a doctor by any means, but I told her that up to the point of when she made those choices, she pretty much knew who she was, what she wanted to do and where her happiness lies.

And to answer your question lucycakes, yes my XW is the way you described it.

Thank you

One of my dearest friends is bipolar and I've learned a lot from her.

From what I understand, it's something that you're born with. If these behaviors have been there for a lifetime, then it's more likely to be bipolar. It is a chemical imbalance.

Stress can cause wild mood swings, moodiness, and unpredictable behavior as well, but isn't the same thing as the disorder.

Most true bipolar people only cycle from the mania to the depression or back every few months or years. Only the most rapid cyclers switch within hours or days.

Some of the less well known characteristics are poor judgement, self-medicating, and compulsive lying.

This is all information I have received during my friendship with someone who has worked hard to understand her disorder and to seek treatment.

Seek a professional evaluation and see if treatment is available.

It seems that 2 of our children, young adults now, are dealing with this (one diagnosed, one in denial).
I have done much reading on this and you might want to go on line to get more information.

Two books I have read which have given me more understanding are:
"New hope for People with BiPolar" by Fawcett, Golden and Rosenfeld
Adult BiPolar disorders by Mitzi Waltz.

The other thing is that while this disorder causes irritability, impulsivity etc, it is superimposed on the existing personality...so the impulsive choices and self destructive behaviours which are only sometimes manifested during a cycle, are probably caused by this chemical imbalance.

I am not in the medical field and can only suggest that if your wife is not in denail and wants some help she herself needs to want to consult her doctor and not rest until she gets answers which make sense.

Good luck