--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyone have experience with a court splitting marital property?

My W and I own 2 homes, an internet business and other assets. My W is not open for negotiation and is letting the courts decide. She currently has possession of the marital home and home internet business. I control a 2-family rental property. All assets are joint and obtained after marriage.

Any thoughts? W does not work and we have 3 kids in her custody for now. I'm praying I will get the rental while she will keep the marital home. Marital home has about $100k more equity than the rental and business is worth about $50k. Lawyer says there's a good chance she will owe me money due to the difference in equity.

Please share your experiences. Thanks.

HusbandLost,

Without knowing the state of residence, no real advice can be given. Divorce laws vary greatly by state

BTW, the courts don't decide. They want the parties to decide, either to work it out between themselves, or through their lawyers.
The judges don't want to hear it.
And with those $ amounts, you are likely not going to court.
Since you said the kids are with her, have you established parenting time with your kids? This may be your greatest area of concern.

HusbandLost, I live in a no-fault, community property state. In my state, you add up the values of all the assets and divide them in 1/2. If the property you get is worth less than what your wife takes, then she would owe you money. This applies in my state, but you'll have to check the laws in your state.

newly,

I live in New York and we are an equitable dist. state. And yes, the courts do decide if the parties are unable. My W wants the court to decide so she gets her fair share (which is everything to her!)

Parenting time is still being worked out in the courts as well.

The courts are currently working on the division of property right now.

HusbandLost, My divorce attorney told me that both sides lose in a divorce - neither you nor your wife will get it all, you'll each lose 1/2 of what you had before and that's a lot. Since your wife feels she's entitled to everything but wants the courts to decide, maybe this is the best way to go for both of you.

Don't forget, the loss is 1/2 plus the lawyer's fees, which can be very high.

Equitable distribution state here - so WH could end up with 70 and me only 30 - they want you to decide division before you get to court - but, if you don't they can and will decide on how it gets split.

That's my biggest fear - I know WH thinks he should get everything - he's asked what it would take to buy me out of our business/house/cars etc. my reply is always 50-50...He feels I should take far less..Why so he can save his for some new bimbo..I don't think so..

I worry the courts will side w/him and I'll be the one that has to start over when I do not want a divorce but may be forced to file since he won't stop his multiple affairs - nor has he started the divorce proceedings..But hey, who knows what the new year may bring.

Good Luck - it's tough when you aren't the one who isn't willing to work on the marriage and yet you stand to lose financially too..

ITHURTS,

Why would you feel you'll get only 30%? Equitable means fair. That seems unfair and I believe infidelity plays little or no role in the decision. Judges need to use discretion and cannot be biased if possible so you should get your fair share. Depends on what you have.

Unfortunately (or fortuneatly depend on your POV) equitable doesn't mean 50/50. For example, in my case, I make over 4x what my STBXW makes annually, so I get more of the debt than she does. Making her distribution of assets larger than mine.

So while it's easy to say 50/50 is fair, the courts don't always see it that way.

TB

Yep - in my case, I had paid for almost everything for years.... My now-X didn't give me as much money as I would have gotten from a roommate. I made more than he did, but less than 2x.

I decided after talking to my lawyer that it was definitely in my best interest to get a settlement agreement with him. Hard telling what a court would have considered equitable, but it likely would have been far more than I thought was fair.

Instead, I bargained with him.... pointed out that if he really wanted half the house, he'd have to take half the bills too, and that the amount owed would probably come out to more than his half of the house.... held out things he really wanted in trade for what was important to me....

I did reasonably well, all in all. But from the surprise many people have expressed in hearing how I did, I gather it usually doesn't go this way.

I definitely feel that infidelity should be a factor in deciding these things, but I don't think we'll ever see a court go back to that kind of thinking. It stinks though - the person who decided to upend everyone's lives ought to be the one to pay for it. In my case, I wanted to work things out, and he refused.... actually, pretended to work things out, going to counseling with me while still living with OW.

Good luck!

HusbandLost - Even if "equitable" means Fair - that doesn't mean it "has" to work out that way. There is a risk involved for both parties in an "equitable distribution state".

From what my attorney tells me I have alot in my favor..

Since we own our business - he would buy me out.
I have no way of earning the $$ I'm making now once I go back into the job market. So alimony would be applicable - unless my buyout $$ is so high (which it could be) that I wouldn't need the alimony.
He has a ton of earning potential w/owning the business 100%..and it is fully paid off
I've been M alittle over 10 years
I left my former job of 19 years to go into business w/him
We have zero debt - home, cars, etc. all paid for..which is a good thing

But, it could still boil down to the judges decision and no matter what I want I'll have to fight tooth and nail..WH feels he's done it all and I was just around for the ride..

The one bad thing I heard is that my jewlery - he purchased as gifts for me are considered marital property..That's bull...What about all the gifts I bought him - since they weren't jewlery or things that increase in value - it doesn't seem to count..

WH basically paid all bills during our M - but he makes 4X what I make and still does even though I own part of the business..I need a raise..hahahh

Anyone else have more info on equitable distribution states and how it was divided???

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> The one bad thing I heard is that my jewlery - he purchased as gifts for me are considered marital property..That's bull...What about all the gifts I bought him - since they weren't jewlery or things that increase in value - it doesn't seem to count..
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have also explored this issue...my lawyer and information I was given by a well informed individual concur on this:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Unless you have countless thousands tied up in jewelry that is considered a collection or was bought soley for the purpose of re-sale for profit, it is your personal property.
If he bought it for you and you wear it for totally recreational use then he has no claim on it, the only exception I ever heard on this was an engagement ring had to be returned when the wedding didn't happen.
It can be a tactic when going through a divorce for one spouse to say things that they know to be totally false, thus putting pressure on the other, causing doubt and bad judgements to be made. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't know where you are located IT HURTS but this seems to be the norm in Canada

My x-H and I did it this way:

Let's say together we made $100,000/annually.
His salary was $60,000 and mine was $40,000.

So for all jointly-acquired liabilities (mortgage, loans, etc.) we split the re-payment 60/40.

For all jointly-acquired assets, we split them 50/50.

The reasoning is this: If we had stayed married, we would have equally enjoyed our assets (or the sale of them). However, our contribution to the debts of the marriage (bills, loans, etc.) was still only 60/40.

Hope that make sense. In my state, the court went with how we decided it; if we wouldn't have decided it, THEY would have decided it.