I filed for Divorce on Thursday, and have a court date for Jan 13. The STBX is tripping now. She's yelling, cursing, telling me that she hates me. Tells me that she needs to see a lawyer, asks what happens if she doesn't show, then claims she filed a week ago (even though I have received no summons)

It's pretty much apparent that there is no chance of reconciliation. I would not unles she agreed to intense individual counceling (she grew up in a very abusive home, and carries a lot of issues form it) and she does not want reconciliation at all.

I still want to try to do this right, I'm trying to stay calm and not screw anybody over. It's very hard with her screaming in my ear on the phone and telling me how terrible I am, but I have managed to stay calm and respectful. I'm really just loooking for some support and advice on how to do this right.

For thos who will ask, I speak to my children on the phone everyday which is why I must talk to her. I also ask her how the kids are everyday (even though she would lie if something was wrong)

Here's a link to Lupolady's most recent post in recovery.

Lupolady - recovery post


Lupolady plan A'd throughout her divorce and her post speaks for itself. I would suggest using the search feature on this website & put her member # in to see what she did even at the courthouse <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> You can probably find those in GQII.

As soon as I saw this post, I knew why I changed my routine at MB tonight. Usually I check this section, go to GQ II then recovery. It was changed to bring you Lupo's story!

D.

I don't really know your whole story but I know that her behavior is normal. It's the stages, I don't know the order by tou, your mad, you beg, your mad again, you cry, you mean and visous. You know it's a circle. Eventually the tears subsided as does the pain (which is on temporary) and then denial and so on. I think I must've told him 20 times I hated him, when really I hate(d) myself for putting them through this. But I also hate him for not being as strong as he said he would be, but that's not his fault. There is only so much one person can take.

I am in and out of everthing all at once and then I have absoulutley nothing I am however 33 week preg so my emotions are different. I started taking medication for depression/anxiety today so will see how much that helps.

You sound like my H. He is the calm one and wants to still take care of everything even though I am the one who screwed up. And I am the one screaming at him for everything, even the things he has no control over. Is Jan 13th your 1st court date? Here we have amandatory 120 days between filing and the first step unless extreme emergencies. So I have time to show him what he needs to see and try to save my marriage even though he does not.

Be Patient~Things may work out~
SG

Well, I have decided that the best thing to do is not to speak to her until the divorce is final. I am hoping that in the future, we can maintain some sort of friendship, or at the least some civility for our sons sake. Right now, those chances are going to be destroyed if we talk right now.

I think the chances of reconciliation are now gone. She is still carrying on the affair, which is unforgiveable for me. Not so much because she cheated on me, but because she is having an affair with her sister's husband. I am unable to get past the thought that if she is capable of doing that to her own sister, how can I ever trust her? I think the answer is that I can't. Even now she is continuing to destroy her sister's marriage with no thoughts of anyone but herself.

Hopefully, she will come to her senses soon and attempt to salvage her relationship with her family. As for me, I don't think I could bring her back into my heart anymore. There has finally been too much damage done.

Thank you for sharing your story with me Grace. I hope that you can save your own marriage. I will say a prayer for you for that.