Hi, Folks,

I rarely post here anymore, because I do not have a marriage to build anylonger, and I do not have a lot to say to people who 'just found out' (because I did not know what to do when it happened to me and, because I find 'just found out' stories too painful to read these days).

Sometimes I have something moderately useful to say, so I will write then.

Well, tonight, I am tired of living the single life; a sentiment echoed in other posts on the boards these days.

I am tired of having to do EVERYTHING myself. I am tired of having no one to depend on but MYSELF. I am tired of having to think of all that must be done; what errands to run, what bills to pay, what needs to be picked up from the grocery store, when the laundry has to be done. I am tired of cooking for just me. I am tired of there being NO conversation in the house. At this point, 3 and one half years after exWW has gone,I HATE CELESTE PIZZA FOR ONE! I am weary, weary of not having a woman (a wife, because I do not want just any woman next to me in my bed) next to me in my bed.
I am tired of being tired.
If it were not for The Eucharist and daily Mass, I would have jumped into bed with the wrong woman a LONG time ago.

Thanks for listening to me spew.

God Bless You ALL,

GB

<small>[ February 07, 2005, 10:44 PM: Message edited by: George Bailey ]</small>

I follow you on that one.

Sorry about it.

I'm tired of not being invited over for dinner at friends any more because I'm an extra female. Ugh.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I am weary, weary of not having a woman (a wife, because I do not want just any woman next to me in my bed) next to me in my bed.
I am tired of being tired.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><HUG, GB>

Why is it so hard sometimes? Somedays I feel better, stronger, healthier...and then something will happen (a forgotten bill, a cranky kid, a song that triggers memories)...and I feel like I have taken steps backwards!

I really relate to your sentiment. This "feeling stuff" can really take its toll.
Tina

Hi, Saphira and doc,

Thanks for reading, thanks for replying. There are days when I have had one too many chores to do. There are days when I have one too many phone calls from people who need something from me (that is when I pray for the Grace to be more like Him). There are days when I still have things happen to me which are direct fallout from the marriage ending. I know that you both, and many, many others can relate to my mood tonight.

Thanks, once again. I will pray for both of you that what you are looking for and what you need comes to you both in great abundance.

God Bless You,
GB

GB--my thoughts are with you. I'm not enjoying singleness all that much myself, and I've only been doing it for a year (and I've technically only been "available" since November).

After 19 years of being on eggshells, it's nice to not have to answer to anyone or worry that I didn't please him. (Yet I did love him--still do in a way--so it wasn't all in vain.)

But on the other hand, I don't relish the thought of being single forever either.

I work with a guy who is turning 40 in May who is still single. He doesn't date much. He's currently dating someone from eharmony. He seems fairly well adjusted and he has a very active social life (though that's easier for him in Florida where it's warm year around). But I know he deals with depression and he takes Ambian to sleep. I think it eats at him. Ten years ago we used to talk about him dating and how he wanted to get married and have kids. We just pretend the subject doesn't exist anymore.

I went for my first therapy session for ME today, to try and help me through some of my buried anger and resentment that bubbles out when I get angry at things. I shared the baggage in my past that will make all potential mates run for the hills.

She said, "Maybe; maybe not."

Then I told her I wasn't planning on sleeping with anyone until I was married.

She rolled her eyes and said, "Okay, that probably will!" <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

And so, tonight I'm tired of cooking for one (my food of choice--nacho chips with melted cheese and salsa or warm rice with milk and sugar), taking care of a house, snowblowing or scooping (if the snowblower won't start) the driveway, paying the bills, working full time, being a mom to a defiant teen daughter, trying to juggle the finances to keep the other teen in college, etc.

You're right. Sometimes it gets old...

LL

Dear LL,

I am sorry that you are going through this, too. It is especially tough, because of what is happening with your daughter.

I think that you should stick to your guns regarding the sex-before-marriage thing. Your therapist is not helping you with those sort of comments. Faith is a rare commodity these days and I am glad you have it. I have been celibate for quite a while and that is part of my problem. I am tired of that, too. However, I am sticking to MY guns and am holding out for the right woman at the right time.

You will get through this. Doc and Saphira will get through this, too. We will all get through this!

God Bless,

GB