Well, I'm a mess today. I have to meet with my son's teacher in a little while and my X will be there.

We're discussing his performance and behavior. He's gotten worse lately(wonder why).

I know I have to be focused and strong, but OMG I do not want to have to be around her.

This just sucks. I'm more worried about seeing her than I am about what the teacher has to say.

If she wasn't going to be there, it would be fine. But since she is, I'm nervous as hell.

Lord give me strength!

Thanks for reading.

JB,
Why don't you call the school and request a separate conference?

It doesn't sound like a meeting with your X in attendance would be at all productive for you.

As a former educator, I can assure you I would rather schedule two conferences than have one conference with divorced parents who are obviously uncomfortable with each other.

Good luck!

Thanks Olyvia. Now I wish I would've posted this earlier.

That's a great idea but it's too late to postpone it now. I'm not 100% sure she's going, I think she'll be there but I haven't talked to her about it in a couple of days.

I don't want to call the school and cancel my being there and then her not show up either. And I don't want to call her to find out if she is going, or have to tell her I'm canceling. She'll use it as a guilt trip on me and would use it to make me look bad in front of his teacher.

Thanks again. Next time I'll post earlier... I always get better advice here than from my friends. They just can't comprehend what this is like.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Olyvia:
<strong> JB,
Why don't you call the school and request a separate conference?

It doesn't sound like a meeting with your X in attendance would be at all productive for you.

As a former educator, I can assure you I would rather schedule two conferences than have one conference with divorced parents who are obviously uncomfortable with each other.

Good luck! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Pretend it's a business meeting with your boss and a coworker who you dislike but who is on the team with you.

Keep your mouth shut as much as possible, listen intently and don't be afraid to take notes.

Make sure you get the teacher's email too.

Good luck.

Just got back. Went as good as can be expected I guess.

When I got to the teacher's class room she asked me to wait in the school office because the principle wanted to sit in on it too. So at first I get really worried that it's about more that my son's performance. I waited and was soon called back to her office. X has not shown up yet.

We all sit and discuss his work and behavior. Everything in the talk was productive and we were all agreeing about our next step. The meeting had lasted about 15 and it was all but over. We were about to say thank you and good bye. Then X pulls up... late because of her work. So we go over everything again with her, but a little quicker this time. Also, partly because I already went through it, when X got there I probably didn't say 3 words. I didn't look at her once.

When it was over and after saying thank you to the principle and his teacher. I got up and walked straight to my car without looking in her direction one time.

It was as good as I could have wanted. But it still hurts that we're so different now. It's so hard to understand how she can be handling this like it's no big deal.

Anyway, I'm glad it's over, the weather today is perfect, the weekend looks promising and maybe I won't have to see or speak to her again until next week <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thank you for the advice and encouragement. Everything helps.

<small>[ March 04, 2005, 01:52 PM: Message edited by: kb4jb ]</small>

I'm glad it went as well as could be expected.

I think you handled it well.