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My ex has never gone to any of the kids school conferences, I've always gone. Today I got an email from him stating that he would be at their school for student led conferences at 4pm on the date. As far as I know, times haven't even been set for the conferences yet; I just filled out a sheet on that for the kids today.
My H and I plan to attend the student led conferences with the children. We do NOT want my ex there. He can't even see the children without supervision, which he refuses to get. He has nothing to do with them except to send them expensive gifts. I don't care if he wants to meet with the teachers, but he won't be meeting with the kids too. I"m afraid there will be real fireworks over this; any suggestions on how to handle it?
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This isn't a problem for me, as my XH never went and doesn't even ask about his DD's school at the moment.
But perhaps if I was faced with your situation, I'd see if the school could schedule separate conferences. I know it's a pain, but I think both parents have a right to go to conferences if they wish, and I also think it would be most beneficial for the parents (and perhaps the teacher as well, as you could concentrate better on what was being said) if they didn't have to go together, if they're not comfortable with each other.
LL
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Is it required that your children attend your conferences with the teachers? It's a rarity for that to happen in our school system. Perhaps you could tell the teachers that you want a separate conference from your ex, maybe giving a brief explanation. If the children are usually involved, tell the ex that your conference time has been set and the children will be coming at that time with you. He is welcome to set up his own time, but the children will not be present, in that supervision is required for contact. And obviously supervision wouldn't be available.
Sounds like the ex is a real power-control freak, which is probably why he is required to have supervised visits. Congratulations on marrying your current husband who wants to be involved with your children!
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My X decided this year to go, and the school's rule is that only one conference per family. So everyone show up at one time.
This may be a good opportunity to hear X's concerns. If he were truly concerned for the kids, he can and should call the teacher anytime he wants. I'm guessing he doesn't do this.
I have to say that although you have supervised visits, he may be setting you up for a PAS claim.
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I don't have this issue either, both my stbx and I attend together, and no kids are involved in our teacher conferences. I know our schools do allow for separate conferences if the parents can't do it together.
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the conferences are "student led", which means the kids show their work and talk about their grades with a teacher present. My kids are in 6th and 7th grades. I stopped and talked to the principal today, and he agreed that my ex could talk to the teachers, but not with the kids present as it would not be considered a supervised visit. So now to make sure our conference is scheduled at a different time from his....
I'm concerned that he will be very angry about this and I'm hoping he doesn't cause a huge scene. He was actually banned from the elementary school because of a scene he caused there when he was unhappy with our youngest's gym teacher. He walked right in, past security, into the gym and began yelling at the teacher right in front of the whole class! Even the police were notified about that one.
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Not your concern. Let the principal handle it. You can, of course, warn the principal of the prior events. Then let it go.
What if X wants the teacher to be the supervisor of the visits? Is that possible?
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No, we ran into that issue last year when my ex wanted to be in son's classroom.....the prinicipal called the judge, who said that a teacher is not qualified to supervise visits. At issue too is even having him at the school, as it is known he is a convicted pedophile, but his name does not appear on central registry because the case happened the year before a national registration law took effect.
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I'd suggest allowing the principle to schedule and work it out --- it's really not up to you to do anything about his desire to attend the conference - other than schedule a separate time.
Jan
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