Well - my situation has beaten all of the statistics. My H, after 10 years of a marriage that he raved about, fell in love with a "friend." Within weeks of having these feelings my marriage was over and he moved in with her and her 3 kids (that was the day her H moved out). She ultimately sold her house and they all moved into a house my H purchased in the city. My divorce will be final in the first or second week of May. My husbands wedding to this woman is taking place on May 16th. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> SO....have any of known of couples who began as an affair, left their respective spouses, rushed into marriage, and DIDN'T last? I'm posting this on the Divorce Page and the General Questions Page as I'd love to hear about some real-life stories and think it would be an up for a lot of us on the site! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Well, my XH hasn't gotten to marriage yet, at least not that I know of, but...

He's been living with her (on and off) since he walked out on me in Jan. of 2003. I know she's kicked him out any number of times. I also saw recently something that he had posted to a newsgroup that indicated she had gotten pregnant, and they didn't know if XH was the father or if "the other guy" was. He was calling her his ex at that point, but about a month after that, they showed up at church - the church XH and I attended all through M, where I was going before I even met him and am still there and very involved. This church is over 2 hours away from where they live - they don't really go there. But they were obviously back together again - at least that day.

I can now laugh about it. I don't know if they'll ever get married or not, but I don't have to know the statistics to see that if they do, chances are they won't make it. And even if they do.... I've got a pretty good idea what their life together will be. In a way, I think it would be better punishment for him if they DO get married and DO stay together. In their case, it's kind of a shame the odds are against it.

But here's another thing to think about. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but eventually, you won't care if they make it or not. Right now, you want to see them hit the rocks, because you'll feel vindicated if that happens. I know that's the way I felt. But eventually, it won't matter.

And until then, remember that no matter what face they are showing to the world, they are both with another person that thinks cheating is an acceptable way of life, and that committment doesn't really mean that much. The first time she stays out late and doesn't call him, what do you think he'll think? And when she tries to call him at work, and can't get him, and he swears he was in meetings all day?

If you're anything like me, regardless of how things turn out, you'll see what they are living with, how horrible the "prize" they "won" is, and you'll almost feel sorry for them. Almost.

I have to agree with Penguin. My WH and MOW have beaten the statistical odds in terms of the length of their relationship, and from what I've heard, she's delivering OC any day. Yet I'm still having a heck of a time divorcing him - going on 4 years, and counting... As my lawyer pointed out, he'll be responsible for child support until he's 70!

It's getting harder and harder to work up any emotion over them, and that's a good thing!

The divorce rate is I believe 95% of affair marriages will fail!

I believe that one will fail because it was a "shot gun" wedding. The good old grass is greener on the otherside thing. Oh just wait until reality kicks in. Then you will seem a lot greener than before!!!

Ali~

The problem is that I keep coming across all these A relationships that have, in fact, survived. Perhaps miserably, but they've made it whereas my marriage (which was supposedly good) did not. It breaks my heart. Anyway, in my case the OW is such a nut factory that he's bound to get sick of it sooner or later. Only time will tell... Anyone else know of other Affair partners that didn't make it?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Getting_Stronger:
<strong> The problem is that I keep coming across all these A relationships that have, in fact, survived. Perhaps miserably, but they've made it whereas my marriage (which was supposedly good) did not. It breaks my heart. Anyway, in my case the OW is such a nut factory that he's bound to get sick of it sooner or later. Only time will tell... Anyone else know of other Affair partners that didn't make it? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I only know of 2 marriages of cheaters and both were over in a couple years....one was over the first year, they filed for divorce and the other lasted 2 years before D was filed.

One of them extremely messy because they BOTH had children with their first spouse and then had one of their own together.....Geez the mess those 2 created...neither had custody of their own kids and had another so now the visitation is like a rubiks cube....poor kids man, poor kids.

Although if you leave the children out of it, there is some humor to it (at least for the betrayed spouses) they split up over cheating!!! She did it, and he did it back....hmmm...can anyone say "healthy relationship"? I knew you could...the both of them tried to get back with their respective spouses but amazingly enough they weren't interested. Yes, I knew the last couples well, we went to th same church and our kids went to school together and we played cards together occasionally. I am still friends with the BS's involved.

Former - Great story - and thanks. I'm actually concerned that the OW will get pregnant with her fourth child - but the first she'll have with my H. Yuck. Anyway, I just don't see how this particular case can last with all her nutiness and bad habits that he hasn't seen yet. They'll come soon enough, I suppose. I'm glad to see the word former in front of your name. Sounds like you're doing great!

Well my sister was married when she started having an affair, she ended up pregnant and then divorced her first husband, married the om and they had 13 yrs of hell. If there ever were two people that shouldn't have gotten married it was them.

My x and his ow have been together 7.5 yrs and have been married for almost 2 yrs. I secretly hope that it fails....

Just heard a good one today.

40 year long distance affair. They met for a week every 6 months.

They both left their spouses and moved in together. 6 months later they are seperating and she went back to her XH. Apparently the OM did not know how to put the toilet paper on the roll right and several other complaints. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ March 17, 2005, 07:26 PM: Message edited by: Lora ]</small>

I have a friend who's wife left him because her girlfriend fell in love with him. Yes you got that right. It was her girlfriend <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Since she left she has been married twice. 1st came and went very fast, second came just as fast and seems to be fading rapidly.

But friend is now married to his X's xgirlfriend and they are very happy.

OK so she didn't marry who she had the affair with, most states still don't allow that, but she has had many failed relationships since.

I keep telling him to call Jerry Springer, but he doesn't think that's funny <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WIWH