Just got the mail. My husband's DNA test is positive. The little girl is his. I'm so tired of being sad. I'm so tired of being devastated. I don't even want to cry anymore. I had a little hope that the child wasn't his. At least I could have been spared the constant reminder of his affair the rest of my life. Help. Please comfort me. Peace lover.

Dear Peace Lover,<P>{{HUGS}} You are not alone. I remember how sad I was when we got my H's DNA results back. I wish I had something magical to say that would make the hurt and pain go away but I know that only time will heal. Know that it does get better. Please take care of yourself and do something special this weekend. <P>Take care,<BR>Audrey

{{{{{{peacelover}}}}}}<BR>Hugs...<P>Ditto Audrey. I remember exactly where I stood opening the envelope and the shock and pain I felt reading the results. Again, be VERY VERY NICE to yourself right now. Make a list of all the things that make you feel good and do as many as you can. <P>White angel light all about you,<BR>Condolences,<BR>Jenny

Praying prayers of healing for your heart.<BR>I know (sadly) how you feel.

Peace Lover,<P>{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} <BR>My heart goes out to you. I pray you make it through this difficult time. My H and I are waiting on our DNA (actually we haven't been able to pay the full amount yet.) I am so apprehensive and hearing about you just finding out makes me think of how I will react. I feel like crying right now. Thank goodness there are those people on this board here to support us all. I know this has to seem like the lowest point, that has to mean that things will start getting better. Keep us posted.

My heart breaks for you and each one of us.<P>I am so very sorry about the results.<P>We never received the official results in a letter, fax or pony express in black & white. It was announced over the telephone by the Hearing Officer during the telephone testimony in one of the court hearings.<P>I felt a red hot prickle run up my scalp and up my face and the room started closing in on me and felt my breathing becoming shallow.<P>It was a weird physical reaction I'll never forget. In the past 18 months, I have had about 10 instances like that where the news was so devastating it literally took my breath away and caused that prickly sensation that makes you think that you really just may die.<P>It doesn't help knowing instictively beforehand when the confirmation of your suspicions actually are right there in your face. You think it will, but it doesn't. I thought I would be able to handle it, but, the stunning realization brings you to your knees.<P>I remember standing on my Mom's balcony in Florida overlooking the Ocean in the middle of the night and silently crying. The tears that ran down my face came down in sheets, but I didn't make a sound, except to pray to God over and over, "Please God, don't let it be true." <P>I am so sorry the results were what they were. I was hoping that maybe, just maybe one of us would escape the ravages of the worst possible news a woman can get. <P>It's so incredibly that not only do we have to deal with the worst thing in our marriages (the affair) but this added insult to injury compounds the problem a million fold.<P>You are in my prayers tonight.<P>Catnip =^^=

I got mine about three weeks ago. It feels like you are in the lowest point in your life, a point at which you must face your worst fears, a point without hope. To make lemons out of lemonade, at least there is no more speculation now, you know for sure, and your decision making processes can now be based upon fact instead of...if it's postive I'll do this, or negative I'll do that. <P>You are now out of the nebulus and into reality, which is actually a much better place to be. It can only get better from here. You're in my prayers.

Yuck. I am so sorry.<P>I know what that feels like to hope for that slim chance that the whore was a whore with other people too and to wish for that slim chance that it was one of those other guys responsible. <P>My heart fell and dropped a million times as I considered the possibilities: Could the dates be right? Could there have been someone before? Could there have been someone during? My heart knows it is true, but knowing for sure has got to feel like a punch to the gut. (My H refuses to take the test. The OW isn't demanding it, and I am leaving anyway).<P>It's amazing how the presence of a forever reminder changes everything. I remember feeling so buoyant and optimistic about our future and how we were going to work our marriage out, and then BAM. Everything changed. This isn't just an affair or another woman. This is his evidence to the world. This is a person with feelings and needs. (sigh)<P>I don't know how you are going to deal with this devastating news. I know that many people have been there and stayed happily married. If you really want to, you can too. I hope you will continue to draw support from the many generous women who willingly provide it right here.<P>I am so sorry.

Peace Lover,<BR>I'm checking in to see how you are doing? I'm thinking of you. <P>Take care,<BR>Audrey

Dear Peace,<P>I am so sorry. I know getting the DNA, is liking getting hit with the affair again. I received mine a little over a month ago. Everyone is right, now you know. But I too prayed and prayed that the results would be negative. I got the news of the child, the affair, and child support all at once three months ago. Time does help. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hold on there is a light at the tunnel.<P>babstr.

Honey, I am so sorry - it's like "when is this ever going to end"; that sick into your gut trembling fear that your life will never be the same again. I feel for you so very much - I truly wish atleast one of us could escape this hell by a DNA test. I my situation my H never opted for one, he "believed the OW" and that SHE WOULD NEVER be with someone other than him !!! gag(ugh) - but then after seeing him - it's pretty obvious that it's his child -so apparently he's not even going to have one nor is he seeking counsel or any other of the "unwise" things he continues to do.<P>At least you 'know for sure' and you can decide what "dirction" you'll travel now! Keep praying and stay strong.

Peace Lover,<BR>I'm concerned that we haven't heard from you since you posted last week. Please let us know how you are doing.<P>Take care,<BR>Audrey