My wife and I are 39 years old. We have a 6 year old daughter. The marriage is good except for the sex part.
We used to have a great sex life, but due to a disease my wife developed, sex is painful to her. She has lost her desire for sex, and things will not be getting any better.
I am still a young man, I am not ready to quit having sex for life. I masterbate daily but that is getting real old and boring. I love my wife and family and don't want to cheat, but I see so many attractive women and I have urges.
How do I cope?

What disease?

I would not blame it on that totally, there must be something else....beleive me, I know.

On the web check out "Adult Novelties". And discuss your needs and your desire to be faithful with your wife. Maybe she'd be willing to relieve your tensions in other ways than the standard copulation.

She has Crohn's Disease.

She won't just give me oral, for example, to get me off.

She doesn't feel sexual at all and says that if I truly love her that I should understand and accept this.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> but I see so many attractive women and I have urges.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you are a grown man and you haven't learned to control your "urges" you have more issues than just sex. What I see is you wanting "sex", not SF, and wanting to "get off". Nothing about her enjoyment or sharing or anything. No wonder your hand is your best friend.

What are you doing to meet her ENs?

<small>[ January 20, 2003, 06:34 PM: Message edited by: *Takola* ]</small>

I'm sorry to hear your wife has Crohn's. I hear it can be very painful.

I have Crohn's and unless I was in a very bad flare up, it had nothing to do with me having sex.

Here is some info on sex problems and Crohn's disease. It might help you understand what I am going through.

Crohn's disease not only affects you, but it also has an impact on your spouse, family, friends, and coworkers. Issues of intimacy become relevant because you have symptoms that are often embarrassing, while your spouse may experience feelings of frustration and anger. Since this is a chronic disease, these issues should be talked about and handled with sensitivity, so that everyone involved can start feeling better.

Physical Intimacy
As a person with active Crohn's disease, you may find that your interest in sex has diminished. In addition, aside from distressing gastrointestinal symptoms, your genitals may be affected by your illness. Sometimes a fistula can occur between the bowel and the vagina, making sex painful. Some other common symptoms and conditions of Crohn's disease which may inhibit your sexuality include:

Abdominal cramps

Diarrhea

Malnutrition

Fatigue

Inadequate protein intake

Malabsorption

Most medications used in treatment for Crohn's disease do not affect sexual desire or physical performance. Women who are being treated with antibiotics for a Crohn's disease flare-up may experience yeast infections with a vaginal discharge. This condition can be a bit uncomfortable, but can be treated by seeing your doctor or using over the counter products. However, while this condition is active, a woman's sexual desire may be diminished

Surgical treatments for Crohn's disease can also affect sexuality. When someone undergoes ostomy surgery, it can be quite an emotional adjustment. While wearing an ostomy appliance does not physically affect sexual function (although care must be used not to dislodge the appliance), some people may feel nervous or awkward.

If you have any interest in a natural treatment/cure for Crohn's, check out:

http://www.gardenoflifeusa.com/

Probiotics are amazing at rebuilding health and eliminating many forms of digestive problems.