Hi everyone. I need to vent and in need of everyones widsom concerning this.<BR>H and I have been doing Okay, since D-day 12/3/99, when I found out about frist OC. I have dealt with that. OW has sent H a letters and fathers day card by way of her cousin. Now someone came to our home looking for my H. I sense that it was dealing with OW and H did too, but he did not say anything. Anyway, H did not go to door, but when this man left, he got in the car and followed him. The man and H got into a fight. H said OW sent man to our house to beat him up.<BR>I was upset because I knew that the man was associated with OW. After H came back we got into a heated arguement and when I told him the whole truth..... he told me that the OW had a 2nd child after the 1st child ( about 10 months apart). Believe me it disappoint me to no end and now I don't know what to do or say. Then to top it off the nurse at school called me to tell me that or 15 year old daughter maybe pregnant. Some Monday.<BR>Right now I am numb and don't know where to turn. H is afraid that I may leave this time and I am not sure that i should stay with him. H don't want me to leave and he don't want to leave.<BR>Need thoughts, prayers, and advice.<BR>ITS <BR>

Gees, what an incredibly awful day you are having. Sorry....<BR>First off, do not "gut" react...How do you know this 2nd OC is even your husbands? I would not do anything until you have hard concrete proof. I find it very hard to believe that your H would fall for this a second time with the same woman. I would place bets that this 2nd one is NOT your H's. So, as hard as it may be. I would try to block this latest out of your mind.<BR>Instead concentrate on your 15 year old. <BR>Get her a home pregnancy test, have her take it,etc. She is going to need you more than anything, and maybe concentrating on her will help you through the latest with your H.<BR>Good luck and please take care of yourself...<P><BR>

In the South...<P>Wow...I'm so sorry for your troubles. I'm speechless. You have my prayers and my are in my thoughts. Take care of your daughter...and yourself. I'd definately find out the truth about this "second OC"...something smells fishy. Look into it.<P>Comfort

ITS,<BR>First of all, make your daughter your first priority. Duranie is right you don't know if this second one is his child as well you need to know for sure. I am sorry I cannot provide anymore comfort to you but you and your daughter will be in my prayers tonight and please keep us updated and let us know you and your daughter are okay.

I can't give any more advice than has already been given. Geez...you floored me . Im so sorry. But everyone else is right...find out if this child belongs to your H and focus on your daughter for the time being. I will be praying for you. May God be with your now in your time of need.

Ditto what everyone said. I am so sorry. You are in my prayers and thoughts. Take care of your daughter.<P>babstr.

ITS<P>Your post made me feel sick. I don't know what I would do. I am so sorry, ITS.<P>There is one other person on this forum who shares the same situation--sort of. Her husband fathered two OC's and is struggling to keep her marriage from dissolving. Her name is "Resilient" (Jo) and usually posts on GQ.<P>I hope you and your husband will demands DNA tests done on both children ASAP; and pray to God that he is not responsible for both.<P>My heart goes out to you at this very terrible time in your life, and I will pray your daughter will get the help and guidance she needs to get through her dilemma and that the tests for her are negative.<P>Prayers<P>Catnip =^^=<P>

ditto,my prayers too...

I will pray for you.<P>Please read my reply to Cjack under General Post II on healing. I think it is important that you get over the emotional trauma that your WS's A caused. Your daughter as well.<P>I think your D may be acting out. Has the home environment been difficult for the child? She would need counselling and please talk about 2nd OC with your WS away from her or she may give up being a principled person or she may get into her own troubles to get away from the disappointments her father had dealt the family.<P>May Jesus heal you as you seek Him<BR>Take Care<BR>weep

Thanks to everyone that has reply to me. I am still not sure where to go or what to do. Yes, my D is my first priotity and the good news is that she is not pregnant. she is still a V. She knows about the birds and the bees. I feel that it has a lot to deal with her close aunt dying suddenly last month(H sister). She does sense that something is wrong or different in our household. We have not tell them about what we are going though, because I feel that is is the Parents problem and until we find out for sure, I don't what them to know. My H wanted to tell them Sunday, but I said no! We have talked about telling them, but how? They are old enought to know that when we tell them, they will know that the Father messed up on their Mother. <BR>Concerning my H, I have done something that I do when I am overhelmed by a situation and don't know how to deal with it. I have step back from the situation that my H is faced with. He realize that I may not bounce back easily from this. I have seen photos of the OCs and the last one looks like my daughters when they were babies, than the first one. I am on my second day of fasting and praying. I know that THE MASTER will shine a light down and make things okay. I am having a time dealing with the fact that he did not tell me about the 2nd one (he knew that if I found out both at one time, I would not be here). And I asked him if he had unprotected sex with OW after the first OC and he said no. I love my H, but right not I am not in love with him and I don't have any feeling for him, I numb. Please continue to pray for me and my girls. I strongly believe in GOD and that is my faith lies. ITS

IN THE SOUTH,<P>I am so sorry! I will pray for you too.

ITS,<P>During times of deepest stress, praying has always helped me to see things clearly. Open your heart to the Lord and I am sure that he will give you the wisdom to decide what is best for you and your family's future.<P>God bless you. Like everyone else, I will be praying for you.<P>- Heavenly

Thanks Heavenly:<P>I was thinking about making a decision, to have him leave for a while, but decided to pray instead and wait for the Lord to guide me. Sometimes I seem to get a little impatience and want things done NOW, but I'm just holding on and won't turn loose until the Lord says so.<P>ITS