Well I have been gone for two weeks, and evidently the safe haven is gone, I have seen this happen at other sites. <P>My life is close to a nervous breakdown. I have the stress of moving, this whole mess. I got into a car accident while house shopping last week. My 18 year old sister ran away from home with some man, and has pretty much destroyed our family. My dad doesn't have any type of forgiveness in him. So he will never give her another chance. She has never had a job, and she has to be on special medication to control her epilepsy. So that has pushed everything to the fore front. So then I come home to come to my safe haven, and here I hear it has been violated by OWs. What is going on?? I have missed talking to all of you, and hearing how your lives are going. how is everyone? <P>babstr

Dear babstr,<P>I am very sorry, one thing at a time, one step at a time, okay?<P>I actually wrote you a long reply and lost it.<P>My prayers with you.<P>God Loves You<BR>weep

Babstr:<P>I am so glad you're back. I hope you didn't get hurt in the accident...are you OK?<P>You have far, far too many other issues to worry about than to fret over the small stuff...one OW that came and went...we are not infiltrated. The rest of us are here...your safe haven is intact. <P>Looking back, it was much ado about nothing.<P>We have all pretty much decided to ignore it if it comes up again...and it is bound to from time to time. The trick is to not overreact...which is hard for us sometimes when we are so raw. Rest assured Babstr, the fox has left the hen house and we are once again simpatico. At least, I ain't gonna let it bother me none. And don't let it bother you either...it ain't worth it, Kid!<P>You have had quite a couple of weeks, Babstr. Have you heard anything from your sister? Has anyone tried to talk to your father? How was the move...besides stressful? Do you like the house?<P>Whenever I move, the first thing I do is hang pictures and make a pot of corn chowder and a pot of coffee. Seems to do the trick. Familiar pictures on the wall and familiar smells...kind of comforting. Whip up a batch of cookies or bake a cake. Is it just me or do others relate comfort with cooking?<P>So, what is the new town like? <P>Catnip =^^=<p>[This message has been edited by catnip (edited October 20, 2000).]

Babstr, I am so sorry for all the stuff you have heaped on you right now. It just doesn't seem right that at one of the most trying times of your life instead of getting a little peace in other areas (family, job, etc), it just all goes more haywire. Or maybe all those things are always lurking, it just seems so overwhelming with the issues at hand concerning H.<P>Welcome back. I have also been pretty much "away" for weeks. I just haven't had time or energy to post much since the birth of OC. I finally went to doctor & went to light medication. Felt I was slipping away into a sad state & didn't want to go there. I just hate it that H and OW and OC have taken so much power over my life. I try to see it all differently, but it is just so hard. I know that you & all the others know this & we all fight that same battle. Man I hate them having any sort of control over my emotions. <P>But this weekend looks like it will be pretty weather. I plan to do good stuff for me. Maybe that will sooth my nerves. Take care.. Carolyn

Sorry my post is late, I haven't been here for a couple of days. Welcome back!! You were missed. So sorry you've had so much going on in your life. I hope your sister will be ok and that she will be safe. I hope your new home is the beginning of a new start for you. I am also a believer in hanging pics on the wall. But my favorite meal to cook in a new house is spaghetti! My family and I love it and to us it represents "normalcy". So, for Catnip it's coffee and corn chowder and me it's spaghetti...how about you? Whatever works, I wish you the best!<P>Comfort<P>------------------<BR>Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending...

As the others have stated, we are still here and will remain here. This site will continue as what it is, a safe haven/port of call during a storm. We will not allow the OW to enter into this part of our lives. <BR> Welcom back. You do not mention if you were hurt in the accident? If not, then put things into perspective, the car can be fixed or replaced, you are too important to lose and all here are glad that you're here.<BR> In my 26 years of marriage I have moved eleven times, 3 times overseas ( my H was in the Army for 20 years). Did you know that in list of stressful times in our lives, that moving is up there with death and divorce? Considering the fact that you have been dealing with marital problems and now a move, your stress level is probably out of this world. So, take a deep breath, then do something that is just for you - lock yourself up in the bathroom and soak while reading a good book; go shopping, widow shopping, anything that gives you pleasure do it. Then re-address the things in your life and you might gain a new perspective.<BR> Above all, remember to love yourself, you are a beautiful person.<P>Good luck, TG

Babstr: I've been thinking about you. Was wondering how it went with your H being gone for the weeks before your move. I hope it wasn't too dreadful for you. I was sending you my strength.<P>I'm sorry things seem to be sliding downhill. It all happens at once and I'm beginning to wonder why. It puts new meaning to the saying "When it rains it pours".<P>I pray things start to pick up for you. I know they will. You, your H and your family are taking the next step together. Heading down the same road. The first step to a new beginning. Things will work out. One day at a time. One second at a time. Focus. And be good to yourself. Take Care. Talk to you soon.<p>[This message has been edited by lostsoulmate (edited October 23, 2000).]