<BR>I found out some more disturbing news today. Because of the school district I live in, I used my mil address to register my child for school, so she could have a better education..also, my mil watches my daughter after school, so my daughter can ride the bus home..for her convience!! The OW reported to the school district my actual address..so now, my daughter may have to change schools. As if her life has not been turned upside down enough..this woman is trying to cause more problems..and to make matters worse..My MIL is now supporting her and sticking up for HER..Lest she forget...this woman is the woman who caused not just my small portion of the family to break up..but she has 7 other children other than my husband that will not come near him..because he is morally reprehensable..I understand my mil supporting my husband..he is and always will be her son, no matter what he does, but she doesnt have to encourage them!!! I feel that by her letting that woman into her home, she is encouraging this relationship...MY MIL and I had an arguement this evening about the OW; I know for a fact that the OW reported me and she said that she believed he..What reason in this world has the OW given anyone to believe her? She has broken up an entire family..MY MIL blames me that noone came to her house for Thanksgiving but my H and the OW..which is because noone wants to be around the OW..It was more important to the my H to have the OW with him than to spend time with his children alone, as it has been since the day he walked out!! I dont know nor do I understand how this became my fault??? I am the victim and my H does everything in his power to undermind the life that I am trying to build for me and my children...Everytime things seems to be going well..He or the OW come up with another plot to seek and destroy...if not me, the children. MY MIL says it is my fault that my H doesnt come to see his children more often..he was awarded liberal visitation..the children stay with his mother (MIL) everyday for child care, and he could, if he wanted to come and visit every day..His mother now claims that I am taking all of his money, so he cant afford the gas...NOONE told him to buy a brand new truck...he knew about this baby coming 15 months ago, he should have planned on paying child support!!! He chooses to work every weekend he has visitation...I dont make him work..he is the boss and does his own schedule..he makes the concious choice to work on his visitation weekend..noone holds a gun to his head..So tell me again how this became my fault??? MY MIL claims to love me like her own children..if this is love, I dont want to see hate!!! Please offer any advice..It was one thing when the OW was being nasty to me and the only person who believed she was a saint was my H, but now MIL is on her side and she has her eating out of her hand...What does this woman have that I dont? I have a college education, a good job, and I was a good wife...a little demanding at times, but all in all, I worked, and when I wasnt working, I was looking after our children so he could go out and make a baby with the OW...What am I doing wrong..Why is my MIL turning against me? Why is she siding with the OW? She did the most horrible, reprehensable thing that one human being could do to another..she slept with my H know that he was married and had 2 children at home waiting for him..now she is causing my daughter to possibly have to attend another school because she wants to get back at me. It was one thing that she hurt me..and turned my world upside down, but she has also done the same to my two children, and is trying to do it again, by reporting me...This woman is horrible...She doesnt have a high school diploma..she makes biscuits all day..and has 2 illegitimate children both by married men..so why do I feel so inadequate? Please help...I am feeling so depressed and alone..<P>------------------<BR>

I guess I don't see the fallout of my husband's betrayal in terms of who's on who's side. I see it as what do I do about me. Everytime I see myself looking at this whole mess from some other perspective than from who I am and what's my plan I divert myself away from the thoughts that lead no where. I don't know how long you've known, cause a reason discovery is nothing short of borderline insanity. I discovered all of this 1 1/2 yr ago and most days I find stability within myself of knowing I did the best I knew how and his betrayal is just who he is. His betrayal is his problem. My problem is whether I will destroy my future and the future of those I love with bitterness or move out toward love and thankfulness of the good I have left.<BR>Sorry if this sounds "preachey"..Don't mean for it to..Find peace.<BR>Peace lover

Dear Peace,<P>I have only known for about 5 1/2 months...finding peace is difficult. I love my H family as if they are my own..they are my family too...I just find it difficult to move forward...and what makes things so much worse is that my children stay with my MIL during the day while I work. I dont understand the nastiness of it all, when I didnt do anything to cause this mess..He did..he walked out on me and my 2 small children. He had 9 months of the OW pregnancy to figure things out...MIL had 3 more months to accept things before I even found out. I pray for acceptance and the ability to forgive, and I know it will take time..it's just that every time I turn around, my H and the OW are plotting new ways to hurt me.

Dear aloneandsad,<P>Of all the things that an OW can do -- to attack the children of the legitimate marriage is by far the worst thing I can imagine. To uproot your young daughter and make her leave her school and friends is a reprehensible thing. Your H and the OW are evil, conniving, so and so's and believe me they will get their share of what they are dishing out to you.<P>As for your MIL, I had a similar experience with my MIL. Although I was not as close to my H's family as you are to yours, my MIL became the best of friends with the OW. The OW was dropping by to see her and when the OC was born, she brought my MIL a photograph of the baby. My MIL put the photo on the mantle with her other family photos.<P>To this day I cannot imagine what made my MIL so ready to accept this woman. You might say that I am biased but my OW is as mean as a rattlesnake, did unspeakably horrible things to me and lied about them. She would call me on the phone and taunt me about having an affair with my H, then she would tell my H that I CALLED HER and my H would be angry with me!<P>This OW mystique is very difficult to understand. I believe that a woman who has the ability to charm another woman's H, also possesses the ability to charm those around him. I cannot imagine what she says to my H's family that makes them believe that she is all goodness and light, but she certainly is an expert at it.<P>Try not to be too paranoid about the OW. Don't point your finger at her and tell people that you believe she did the horrible things that she is doing. Just act as though she does not exist. Don't bring her up to your MIL -- stay with safe topics like your children.<P>I know how hard it is to keep up this act when your heart is breaking, but for your own sanity and dignity please try. From my experience, you end up looking obsessed with the OW and other people believe you are imagining that she is behind every bad thing that happens in your life (even though she very well may be...)<P>Good luck and try to stay cool, calm and distant from the problem.<P>- Heavenly

Dear Heavenly,<P>I try and stay away from the subject of my H and the OW when around my MIL, but she ends up bringing it up if I dont...How do I move forward and continue my relationship with this woman...is it possible? My life is apparently revolving around the "drama" and I just cant get away from it. It just seems neverending. If it's not one thing, its another...It's a difficult situation for everyone involved, but my MIL is right about one thing..My children are being put in the middle, but my H did that, not me...I feel as if my life is spinning out of control and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I want so much to have a "normal" life again...How do I make this work with my MIL and how do I make this arguement that she and I had right? She has a point..I really dont have anything good to say about her son..what is there to say good? He hurt me in the worst way imaginable and she could never understand what I am going through or the pain my children feel. I hate him for what he has done to them...I hate the OW even more..I just feel so hurt and angry that my MIL is accepting this woman and we are not even divorced yet...7 more months to go...I knew it was inevitable, but it still hurts. Not only have I lost my H and my best friend..I have lost my MIL...I think my FIL is trying to stay neutral..this has almost cause them a divorce because of the conflict...my FIL hasnt spoken to my H since he found out in March...How can this woman claim to love me and my children, but at the same time condone an adulterous relationship that tore this family apart?